Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

How in the world would a doctor be able to perform a colonoscopy on a patient who was not sedated? Seriously, I remember sigmoidoscopies during which you were stone-cold sober. They only went in a few inches and I wanted to rip the doctor's throat out. 

[esmerelda]

@cookinfreak  I haven't read past your original post.  Or I think I read the first one after it.  Anyway, what I want to say is...

It's odd people seem to have a problem taking people to and from their coloscopy appointments.  A cousin of mine asked a relative to do her that favor and the relative came up with some ridiculous reason...too far or something.  (And it wasn't...maybe a 30 minute drive.)

For some silly reason people can be weird about getting one or even talking about it.  I guess we can add providing transportation to one to that list.

The rest of the post...about family relationships...I won't even comment on.  Because everybody's got 'em.

[Moonchilde]

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@onionsoup wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@software wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

@cookinfreak

I understand how you feel and understand why you would be hurt.

I have a very similar 'family' situation re: your sisters and my brother is deceased also, so I say the same thing.

But on a side note, you have to have someone who will stay during your procedure, at least in our area, so a cab may not work.

DH has Chrohn's disease and has to have them yearly.

He's had them done at several different locations, but they all required that the patient had someone stay for the entire procedure, to assure that they didn't try to drive themselves home after anesthesia.

I'm just suggesting that you check with your Dr./facility's policy on this, before you plan on using a cab, etc, since maybe that's just a practice in my area.. 

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This is getting to be more and more of an issue, and will continue to increase, as the number of single, childless people increases as we age and need services.

There will need to be some accommodations made, period. When I had my two cataract surgeries, the surgery center said I couldn’t use Uber or a cab because they don’t accompany you inside.  For the first surgery I paid a private medical transportation service a ridiculous amount of money. The second time I used Uber and just had the surgery center minder go outside to see that my ride was there. 

When it comes to the point that more and more people are not allowed to have surgery because they DO have a ride but it’s not an “acceptable” ride - there has to be a change in the “rules.”

I had no family in the area. I was working and all my co-workers were also working. Friends also worked, and lived an hour’s drive away.  Honestly, I don’t think I would have taken the day off work (always frowned upon by my employer for any reason) in order to take someone for surgery and pick them up unless it was a close immediate relative.

Since moving, I have taken a neighbor for her colonoscopy and she has taken me to the dentist for extractions. But that was luck. I still really have no one if I need them, and no longer live where Uber or a cab are viable options. 

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I agree in the change of rules.

So people don't get their procedures done?

I see lawyer or HMO written all over this.

I don't like bothering my kids, they have kids of their own, they work, they have a life and it's crazy.    Why can't I just hang out in some common room until the stuff wears off?    My doctors, right or wrong, have always told me it's not a medical decision, it's the facility rules.    

I needed a biopsy last year, took all of 20 minutes - literally.    Used a light dose of Propofol.  The facility insisted my son had to bring me in and WAIT.   It's the RULES.   He never complains but I do, it's ridiculous.     My kids will care for me when I really need it but for little stuff like this, it's too much to ask.    Maybe that's why the OP SIL has an aversion to it.

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@software, the kicker for me? What I went through with the cataract surgery was the thing that prompted my family to ask me to come live with them. They would take care of me, they said. Now that I’m here, no, the familly doesn’t take me anywhere, I’ve been dumped on the neighbor. It’s not like I need to be taken anywhere often, but as I get older it’s inevitable it will keep happening. The difference is that before, I DID have access to Uber and cabs and now I don’t, so I’m MORE isolated now than I was. But I’m “safe” with faaamily. Yeah.

How terribly sad.   That situation would be unbearable for me and I would move to a bigger city.  @Moonchilde

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@puttypiesmom What I find “terribly sad” are those who think they’re putting something over on people or being terribly clever, when a child could see them coming a mile away.

LMAO.

[puttypiesmom]

@Moonchildesorry you are having a bad day.  Usually your posts are so great, informative and upbeat.  I could not and would not live with relatives as in your situation.  

[KingstonsMom]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

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@happycat wrote:

@KingstonsMom, you are right! I had forgotten about that. I've had them too, and taken family members. They do want you to have someone there while procedure is being done.

Glad you thought of that to pass along to cookinfreak.

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@happycat

I have to relate an incident that happened when DH has his a few months ago.

An elderly couple had be in before us for the wife to have hers, her DH took her home, then returned to sign in for his own colonoscopy.

When asked where his driver was (they have to sign a form here), he replied, "It's only me and my wife and since she just had one and she can't drive me home, I'll do mine with NO anesthesia".

The nurses (who I know well) just looked at me with their mouths hanging open in shock, as was mine......

Then I had to just cry for him.

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Crying for him helped not at all. If you truly cared, you would have suggested he make another appointment and you would drive him. Did you?

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I HOPE you're joking. But I don't see an LOL. What is WRONG with people? THIS.

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@LoveMyBaby

Oh no, she's not joking. This is her usual sarcastic nature to all of the posts/posters here.

Pretty sad really, IMO.

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@KingstonsMom

Oh, believe me I know. There's a few like that, and then pile on and agree like junior high. When someone posts something rude or inconsiderate whether for attention or they're just not a great person, I also like to look at who agrees with 'em and check who hearted ❤️their post. Tells me a lot. 

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Seems to me you are "piling on". I wasn't being sarcastic, I was being honest. You didn't like the message so attacted me, the messenger. I take issue with those who feel so bad about something, making it about their feelings, but are unwilling to help the person or situation in anyway they can. Now comes the excuse for doing nothing. Maybe true but why wasn't it mentioned in that post. 

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@occasionalrain

I would have to care what you think about me or my posts and trust me.....I don't.

I'm just glad that I don't know anyone like you....

Make all of the snide comments you want, you will never get a response from me after this one.

[pigletsmom]

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

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@happycat wrote:

@KingstonsMom, you are right! I had forgotten about that. I've had them too, and taken family members. They do want you to have someone there while procedure is being done.

Glad you thought of that to pass along to cookinfreak.

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@happycat

I have to relate an incident that happened when DH has his a few months ago.

An elderly couple had be in before us for the wife to have hers, her DH took her home, then returned to sign in for his own colonoscopy.

When asked where his driver was (they have to sign a form here), he replied, "It's only me and my wife and since she just had one and she can't drive me home, I'll do mine with NO anesthesia".

The nurses (who I know well) just looked at me with their mouths hanging open in shock, as was mine......

Then I had to just cry for him.

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My father does this. My mother doesn't drive often so he's done it this way for years. Nuts!

[GCR18]

I don't think babysitting has anything to do with it since a date wasn't mentioned.  It sounds like someone feeling pressure to do something they don't want to do and using the first excuse they could think of.  Some people don't deal with people who've had medical procedures. 

If it is something that is going to bother you, then ask her.  Sue, I'm sorry I caught you off guard when I asked if you could drive me to my colonoscopy.  That should get the conversation going.

[NYC Susan]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@Laura14 wrote:

Maybe it's the way you recounted it but it sounds like she was willing to accommodate you and you decided not to take her up on it.  And now you're hurt because she didn't insist on helping you?  I'm kind of confused and I think maybe your SIL is too. 

There are a lot of mixed messages I got reading it.  I think you two had a big misunderstanding about what the other one was saying.  

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@Laura14   @cookinfreak

I got the same impression ,.. and still don't understand where there was a (figurative) slap in the face.

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I agree.  The SIL didn't say no.  Not only don't I see a slap in the face, I also don't see that the SIL did or said anything wrong.

Maybe emotions were running high that day, but going by what was told to us, it seems that the OP saw something negative that simply wasn't there.  (I also don't understand jumping to the conclusion that she had been bad-mouthed by others, but clearly there's a lot more to that story.)

[NYC Susan]

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

@cookinfreak

I understand how you feel and understand why you would be hurt.

I have a very similar 'family' situation re: your sisters and my brother is deceased also, so I say the same thing.

But on a side note, you have to have someone who will stay during your procedure, at least in our area, so a cab may not work.

DH has Chrohn's disease and has to have them yearly.

He's had them done at several different locations, but they all required that the patient had someone stay for the entire procedure, to assure that they didn't try to drive themselves home after anesthesia.

I'm just suggesting that you check with your Dr./facility's policy on this, before you plan on using a cab, etc, since maybe that's just a practice in my area.. 

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When I had my first colonoscopy a few years ago, they required that someone remain through the entire procedure.

My most recent colonoscopy was 6 months ago.  It was not required that someone stay throughout the procedure, and they didn't care how I got there.  But someone had to pick me up, and I knew that I would not be released unless there was someone to drive me home.  They were very specific that it could not be a cab, and when the time came they were very strict about it.

So yes, I agree that I would get those kind of details ahead of time.  Different faciities and different doctors have different policies. 

[If someone is required to stay the whole time and has other obligations (they have a job, babysit for grandchildren, whatever), it could end up being quite an imposition, time-consuming, and far more involved than simply driving someone somewhere.  So I would keep that in mind too, and understand if they are unable.]

[ROMARY]

Just a thought, in general: I'm only guessing that some people don't have family members who live near them.  Thinking about it right now, I recall (years ago) a friend who's mother lived 2 1//2 driving hours away.  If I correctly recall, she hired someone (ombudsman? Not 100% sure of what the person was called.) to be present at the doc's office and for outpatient procedures.  All of the information was relayed to the daughter.  Keep in mind that often times some people's friends/neighbors/relatives are the same age or even older. Maybe not capable of driving or being present during procedures, etc.  Relatives now-a-days are sometimes scattered across the state or country.  Not everyone is lucky to have nearby younger relatives and friends, neighbors.  ............. 'All in all', as our generation becomes older and older, and relatives become older or more 'busy' in their lives with work, commuting, etc., there should be services that could legally deal with these types of situations.  It would be a very lucrative business/industry.