Community Chat

[Moonchilde]

---

@software wrote:

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

---

@KingstonsMom wrote:

@cookinfreak

I understand how you feel and understand why you would be hurt.

I have a very similar 'family' situation re: your sisters and my brother is deceased also, so I say the same thing.

But on a side note, you have to have someone who will stay during your procedure, at least in our area, so a cab may not work.

DH has Chrohn's disease and has to have them yearly.

He's had them done at several different locations, but they all required that the patient had someone stay for the entire procedure, to assure that they didn't try to drive themselves home after anesthesia.

I'm just suggesting that you check with your Dr./facility's policy on this, before you plan on using a cab, etc, since maybe that's just a practice in my area.. 

---

This is getting to be more and more of an issue, and will continue to increase, as the number of single, childless people increases as we age and need services.

There will need to be some accommodations made, period. When I had my two cataract surgeries, the surgery center said I couldn’t use Uber or a cab because they don’t accompany you inside.  For the first surgery I paid a private medical transportation service a ridiculous amount of money. The second time I used Uber and just had the surgery center minder go outside to see that my ride was there. 

When it comes to the point that more and more people are not allowed to have surgery because they DO have a ride but it’s not an “acceptable” ride - there has to be a change in the “rules.”

I had no family in the area. I was working and all my co-workers were also working. Friends also worked, and lived an hour’s drive away.  Honestly, I don’t think I would have taken the day off work (always frowned upon by my employer for any reason) in order to take someone for surgery and pick them up unless it was a close immediate relative.

Since moving, I have taken a neighbor for her colonoscopy and she has taken me to the dentist for extractions. But that was luck. I still really have no one if I need them, and no longer live where Uber or a cab are viable options. 

---

I agree in the change of rules.

So people don't get their procedures done?

I see lawyer or HMO written all over this.

I don't like bothering my kids, they have kids of their own, they work, they have a life and it's crazy.    Why can't I just hang out in some common room until the stuff wears off?    My doctors, right or wrong, have always told me it's not a medical decision, it's the facility rules.    

I needed a biopsy last year, took all of 20 minutes - literally.    Used a light dose of Propofol.  The facility insisted my son had to bring me in and WAIT.   It's the RULES.   He never complains but I do, it's ridiculous.     My kids will care for me when I really need it but for little stuff like this, it's too much to ask.    Maybe that's why the OP SIL has an aversion to it.

---

@software, the kicker for me? What I went through with the cataract surgery was the thing that prompted my family to ask me to come live with them. They would take care of me, they said. Now that I’m here, no, the familly doesn’t take me anywhere, I’ve been dumped on the neighbor. It’s not like I need to be taken anywhere often, but as I get older it’s inevitable it will keep happening. The difference is that before, I DID have access to Uber and cabs and now I don’t, so I’m MORE isolated now than I was. But I’m “safe” with faaamily. Yeah.

[jubilant]

After the first answer of no and your sil's hesitation for herself (and for her sister),  I understand why you were surprised and a bit disappointed.  Still.... no one owes us anything.  Everyone has a right to answer as they please.  Yes, sometimes it's going to hurt but who wants someone to take them somewhere begrudgingly?  That would be worse  to me.  I hope you can find a way there.  Explain your predicament to the the doctors office.  Maybe they could tell you how other patients in similar situations handle this.  Many of the ladies here had some good ideas.

There are people out there who hire out to do odds and ends for people.  Just be sure if you go that route to get references.  Your SIL has her reasons.....right or wrong.  I wouldn't say another word or act mad or hurt.  I would just take the bull by the horn and work something else out.  You have other options.  There are always other options!

[chickenbutt]

[[[Moonchilde]]]

[151949]

Can't you just ask someone else?I understand it would be hard for her if she is watching her grandbaby. Sitting a long time in a waiting room with a baby, plus having to take the baby out in cold weather and into a germy med facility.

[AuntG]

---

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

When my husband had his, I dropped him off and they called me when he was ready to be picked up. He was wheeled outside in a wheelchair and transferred to the car.

---

============

Our center requires the person who accompanies the patient to stay the whole time.  I've waited for people and just took a book to read.  The center had coffee and some energy bars to snack on so it wasn't rough at all.  I would take it as a slight "slap in the face." Have to wonder why your family would be speaking badly of you to your SIL.

[chrystaltree]

She just didn't want to commit to doing it.  You asked, she declined.  That doesnt mean you arent close.  You are reading too much into this and did reverse herself and you declined her offer.

[occasionalrain]

---

@LoveMyBaby wrote:

---

@KingstonsMom wrote:

---

@LoveMyBaby wrote:

---

@occasionalrain wrote:

---

@KingstonsMom wrote:

---

@happycat wrote:

@KingstonsMom, you are right! I had forgotten about that. I've had them too, and taken family members. They do want you to have someone there while procedure is being done.

Glad you thought of that to pass along to cookinfreak.

---

@happycat

I have to relate an incident that happened when DH has his a few months ago.

An elderly couple had be in before us for the wife to have hers, her DH took her home, then returned to sign in for his own colonoscopy.

When asked where his driver was (they have to sign a form here), he replied, "It's only me and my wife and since she just had one and she can't drive me home, I'll do mine with NO anesthesia".

The nurses (who I know well) just looked at me with their mouths hanging open in shock, as was mine......

Then I had to just cry for him.

---

Crying for him helped not at all. If you truly cared, you would have suggested he make another appointment and you would drive him. Did you?

---

I HOPE you're joking. But I don't see an LOL. What is WRONG with people? THIS.

---

@LoveMyBaby

Oh no, she's not joking. This is her usual sarcastic nature to all of the posts/posters here.

Pretty sad really, IMO.

---

@KingstonsMom

Oh, believe me I know. There's a few like that, and then pile on and agree like junior high. When someone posts something rude or inconsiderate whether for attention or they're just not a great person, I also like to look at who agrees with 'em and check who hearted ❤️their post. Tells me a lot. 

---

Seems to me you are "piling on". I wasn't being sarcastic, I was being honest. You didn't like the message so attacted me, the messenger. I take issue with those who feel so bad about something, making it about their feelings, but are unwilling to help the person or situation in anyway they can. Now comes the excuse for doing nothing. Maybe true but why wasn't it mentioned in that post. 

[puttypiesmom]

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

---

@software wrote:

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

---

@KingstonsMom wrote:

@cookinfreak

I understand how you feel and understand why you would be hurt.

I have a very similar 'family' situation re: your sisters and my brother is deceased also, so I say the same thing.

But on a side note, you have to have someone who will stay during your procedure, at least in our area, so a cab may not work.

DH has Chrohn's disease and has to have them yearly.

He's had them done at several different locations, but they all required that the patient had someone stay for the entire procedure, to assure that they didn't try to drive themselves home after anesthesia.

I'm just suggesting that you check with your Dr./facility's policy on this, before you plan on using a cab, etc, since maybe that's just a practice in my area.. 

---

This is getting to be more and more of an issue, and will continue to increase, as the number of single, childless people increases as we age and need services.

There will need to be some accommodations made, period. When I had my two cataract surgeries, the surgery center said I couldn’t use Uber or a cab because they don’t accompany you inside.  For the first surgery I paid a private medical transportation service a ridiculous amount of money. The second time I used Uber and just had the surgery center minder go outside to see that my ride was there. 

When it comes to the point that more and more people are not allowed to have surgery because they DO have a ride but it’s not an “acceptable” ride - there has to be a change in the “rules.”

I had no family in the area. I was working and all my co-workers were also working. Friends also worked, and lived an hour’s drive away.  Honestly, I don’t think I would have taken the day off work (always frowned upon by my employer for any reason) in order to take someone for surgery and pick them up unless it was a close immediate relative.

Since moving, I have taken a neighbor for her colonoscopy and she has taken me to the dentist for extractions. But that was luck. I still really have no one if I need them, and no longer live where Uber or a cab are viable options. 

---

I agree in the change of rules.

So people don't get their procedures done?

I see lawyer or HMO written all over this.

I don't like bothering my kids, they have kids of their own, they work, they have a life and it's crazy.    Why can't I just hang out in some common room until the stuff wears off?    My doctors, right or wrong, have always told me it's not a medical decision, it's the facility rules.    

I needed a biopsy last year, took all of 20 minutes - literally.    Used a light dose of Propofol.  The facility insisted my son had to bring me in and WAIT.   It's the RULES.   He never complains but I do, it's ridiculous.     My kids will care for me when I really need it but for little stuff like this, it's too much to ask.    Maybe that's why the OP SIL has an aversion to it.

---

@software, the kicker for me? What I went through with the cataract surgery was the thing that prompted my family to ask me to come live with them. They would take care of me, they said. Now that I’m here, no, the familly doesn’t take me anywhere, I’ve been dumped on the neighbor. It’s not like I need to be taken anywhere often, but as I get older it’s inevitable it will keep happening. The difference is that before, I DID have access to Uber and cabs and now I don’t, so I’m MORE isolated now than I was. But I’m “safe” with faaamily. Yeah.

How terribly sad.   That situation would be unbearable for me and I would move to a bigger city.  @Moonchilde

---

[puttypiesmom]

---

@Apple Crisp wrote:

I am one of those people who needs rides for regular colonoscopies and EGDs. I have no family to take me, either.  In the state where I live, you are not allowed to take a cab. They want a relative or friend to bring you and pick you up. The person does not have to stay. I had friends a few times, and noticed they felt put out. But yet, I had been their driver many, many times. The last time I had a procedure, I went through an agency that did these things for senior citizens. I had to pay by the hour and by the mile. I will have to do that from now on. I am one of those people who gives rides to all who ask, and people do not do the same for me. People are very strange sometimes. I have learned that some people are givers and some are only takers.

---

While it's not the best alternative at least there is a workable option thank goodness and thank you for sharing that piece of information that many probably didn't know about.