Wow What a slap in the face! (vent) - Page 6

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

Well, i do not blame the sil ,because if she is baby sitting ,i would not put that baby at risk ,going into a hospital.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@cookinfreak I totally understand how you feel.These days family & friends never seem to want to put themselves out to help.DH & I are involved with these type of people too.We are always there for them.They always seem to have excuses when we ask!!

If you feel that you’ve had a good relationship with your sil then I would suggest that you try talking to her.It sounds like there might have been a misunderstanding.If you talk to her & it turns out that she doesn’t want to do it, find out why.Be prepared though to live with her answer.

Only you can decide where you want the relationship to go from here.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

I haven't read every single reply. As I'm thinking right now, I wouldn't consider it a 'slap'. Babysitting isn't easy. Some people are just plain busy. Also, keeping babies/children away from hospitals is probably a good idea, considering this year's very strong flu season. Probably a better idea to find someone to drop O/P off, and then someone to drive O/P home. Some areas have medical pick-up services, which we have used for senior family members who were incapacitated after hospitalization or procedures. Very handy, and not extremely expensive in the overall scheme of things. They will even carry the patient in a bed/guerny up stairs, if necessary. Lots of good luck. I'd probably take a cab, and then use one of my suggestions for my trip home.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@chickenbutt

Me too, we've talked before about our similar 'upbring' and that it taught us to rely on ourselves, out of lack of choice.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Apple Crisp · ‎04-08-2010

I am one of those people who needs rides for regular colonoscopies and EGDs. I have no family to take me, either. In the state where I live, you are not allowed to take a cab. They want a relative or friend to bring you and pick you up. The person does not have to stay. I had friends a few times, and noticed they felt put out. But yet, I had been their driver many, many times. The last time I had a procedure, I went through an agency that did these things for senior citizens. I had to pay by the hour and by the mile. I will have to do that from now on. I am one of those people who gives rides to all who ask, and people do not do the same for me. People are very strange sometimes. I have learned that some people are givers and some are only takers.

LoveMyBaby · ‎03-09-2010

@TenderMercies

@TenderMercies wrote:
If anyone I knew, even barely new, asked me to take them to a medical procedure, I'd drop everything to take them regardless of what I had going on. I find it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't do the same, especially if the person asking hadn't made the appointment and would be able to give a fair amount of notice.

Exactly. Thank you for saying it. I'm dismayed at the responses of telling someone to take a cab!! We're talking about family member here for petes sake that needs a favor. ONE day, you can't go out of your way for someone??? That's a shame in itself.

I guess it's not hard to believe with all the replies coming to the SIL's defense of the family member that's 'too busy' or doesn't want to be bothered.. And nobody mentioned taking the baby there. "Daughter, aunt Wilma needs a colonoscopy and needs a family member to be present for her on such -n-such date. She asked me if I could take her, and I would be HAPPY to help a FAMILY member out. Do you think you could find someone to watch grandbaby that ONE day while I help aunt Wilma?".

My daughter would say "no problem, Ma".

This is her deceased husbands sister!!! Not a stranger!

⚓️

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

IG wrote:
@chickenbutt

Me too, we've talked before about our similar 'upbring' and that it taught us to rely on ourselves, out of lack of choice.

Yuppers! I know some people give me grief about it, but I am totally conditioned to do for myself and not ask for help. I don't begrudge others being different, but that's how it is for me.

Even if somebody, such as my husband, says honestly that they are happy to help, I just won't ask for help unless there is absolutely, positively no other way to go. It just makes me feel bad and that's due to the conditioning. No big thing. It's just the way I am.

I suppose being told how worthless I was all those years didn't help. So I probably went out trying to show that I was not worthless by doing for myself. Never got help as a child. Back then if you told somebody about any of your abuses they went right to your abuser (!) and, well, you know how that went for you.

Just like how she called me stupid all the time so I went out in life and made every effort to excel. I don't think I was trying to prove it to her (that would have been an exercise in futility!), rather I was proving it to myself. But, darnit, I DID excel in every job/career I had!

OTOH, If somebody else asks me for help and I am able to do so, I have absolutely no problem helping somebody else out. I guess I'm pretty one-way about that sort of thing.

LoveMyBaby · ‎03-09-2010

@KingstonsMom wrote:
@LoveMyBaby wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
@KingstonsMom wrote:
@happycat wrote:
@KingstonsMom, you are right! I had forgotten about that. I've had them too, and taken family members. They do want you to have someone there while procedure is being done.
Glad you thought of that to pass along to cookinfreak.

@happycat

I have to relate an incident that happened when DH has his a few months ago.

An elderly couple had be in before us for the wife to have hers, her DH took her home, then returned to sign in for his own colonoscopy.

When asked where his driver was (they have to sign a form here), he replied, "It's only me and my wife and since she just had one and she can't drive me home, I'll do mine with NO anesthesia".

The nurses (who I know well) just looked at me with their mouths hanging open in shock, as was mine......

Then I had to just cry for him.

Crying for him helped not at all. If you truly cared, you would have suggested he make another appointment and you would drive him. Did you?
I HOPE you're joking. But I don't see an LOL. What is WRONG with people? THIS.
@LoveMyBaby

Oh no, she's not joking. This is her usual sarcastic nature to all of the posts/posters here.

Pretty sad really, IMO.

@KingstonsMom

Oh, believe me I know. There's a few like that, and then pile on and agree like junior high. When someone posts something rude or inconsiderate whether for attention or they're just not a great person, I also like to look at who agrees with 'em and check who hearted ❤️their post. Tells me a lot.

⚓️

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@KingstonsMom wrote:
@cookinfreak

I understand how you feel and understand why you would be hurt.

I have a very similar 'family' situation re: your sisters and my brother is deceased also, so I say the same thing.

But on a side note, you have to have someone who will stay during your procedure, at least in our area, so a cab may not work.

DH has Chrohn's disease and has to have them yearly.

He's had them done at several different locations, but they all required that the patient had someone stay for the entire procedure, to assure that they didn't try to drive themselves home after anesthesia.

I'm just suggesting that you check with your Dr./facility's policy on this, before you plan on using a cab, etc, since maybe that's just a practice in my area..

This is getting to be more and more of an issue, and will continue to increase, as the number of single, childless people increases as we age and need services.

There will need to be some accommodations made, period. When I had my two cataract surgeries, the surgery center said I couldn’t use Uber or a cab because they don’t accompany you inside. For the first surgery I paid a private medical transportation service a ridiculous amount of money. The second time I used Uber and just had the surgery center minder go outside to see that my ride was there.

When it comes to the point that more and more people are not allowed to have surgery because they DO have a ride but it’s not an “acceptable” ride - there has to be a change in the “rules.”

I had no family in the area. I was working and all my co-workers were also working. Friends also worked, and lived an hour’s drive away. Honestly, I don’t think I would have taken the day off work (always frowned upon by my employer for any reason) in order to take someone for surgery and pick them up unless it was a close immediate relative.

Since moving, I have taken a neighbor for her colonoscopy and she has taken me to the dentist for extractions. But that was luck. I still really have no one if I need them, and no longer live where Uber or a cab are viable options.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

software · ‎06-08-2016

@Moonchilde wrote:
@KingstonsMom wrote:
@cookinfreak

I understand how you feel and understand why you would be hurt.

I have a very similar 'family' situation re: your sisters and my brother is deceased also, so I say the same thing.

But on a side note, you have to have someone who will stay during your procedure, at least in our area, so a cab may not work.

DH has Chrohn's disease and has to have them yearly.

He's had them done at several different locations, but they all required that the patient had someone stay for the entire procedure, to assure that they didn't try to drive themselves home after anesthesia.

I'm just suggesting that you check with your Dr./facility's policy on this, before you plan on using a cab, etc, since maybe that's just a practice in my area..

This is getting to be more and more of an issue, and will continue to increase, as the number of single, childless people increases as we age and need services.

There will need to be some accommodations made, period. When I had my two cataract surgeries, the surgery center said I couldn’t use Uber or a cab because they don’t accompany you inside. For the first surgery I paid a private medical transportation service a ridiculous amount of money. The second time I used Uber and just had the surgery center minder go outside to see that my ride was there.

When it comes to the point that more and more people are not allowed to have surgery because they DO have a ride but it’s not an “acceptable” ride - there has to be a change in the “rules.”

I had no family in the area. I was working and all my co-workers were also working. Friends also worked, and lived an hour’s drive away. Honestly, I don’t think I would have taken the day off work (always frowned upon by my employer for any reason) in order to take someone for surgery and pick them up unless it was a close immediate relative.

Since moving, I have taken a neighbor for her colonoscopy and she has taken me to the dentist for extractions. But that was luck. I still really have no one if I need them, and no longer live where Uber or a cab are viable options.

I agree in the change of rules.

So people don't get their procedures done?

I see lawyer or HMO written all over this.

I don't like bothering my kids, they have kids of their own, they work, they have a life and it's crazy. Why can't I just hang out in some common room until the stuff wears off? My doctors, right or wrong, have always told me it's not a medical decision, it's the facility rules.

I needed a biopsy last year, took all of 20 minutes - literally. Used a light dose of Propofol. The facility insisted my son had to bring me in and WAIT. It's the RULES. He never complains but I do, it's ridiculous. My kids will care for me when I really need it but for little stuff like this, it's too much to ask. Maybe that's why the OP SIL has an aversion to it.