Community Chat

[missy1]

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@kdgn wrote:

It can be written into the divorce decree that she maintains insurance on him. He doesn't automatically get dropped. A legal separation would mean any expenses he incurs after the date are his and his alone. 

She can just file legal separation, so she isn't responsible for his debts after this date and keep him on her insurance.

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[missy1]

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@kdgn wrote:

It can be written into the divorce decree that she maintains insurance on him. He doesn't automatically get dropped. A legal separation would mean any expenses he incurs after the date are his and his alone. 

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He would be dropped off her her insurance. Her work would not allow him to remain if not married. Along those lines she can file legal seperation until he finds insurance.

[missy1]

OP does the man work?

He can probably can just get medicaide.

[RedTop]

No I would not leave; I would be doing everything possible to get a definite diagnosis and treatment.  I've heard of people acting this way because of brain tumors, metastasized cancer in the brain, dementia, and chemical imbalances---not just mental illnesses.  I could not just leave my husband without knowing I tried my best to help him.  

[itiswhatitis]

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@JustJazzmom wrote:

Schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder are 2 separate mental illnesses. The symptoms sound more like bi-polar with highs (manic stages) and lows (depressions).

I would try to also consider seeing an attorney as to what rights she has and what means can be put into place to protect their finances and belongings..

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@JustJazzmom that's right.  Bi Polar Disorder is not dangerous.  It's unpredictable, but not dangerous.

Classic signs are:

promiscuity

spending sprees

He can in fact be helped with proper treatment and live a fairly decent life if he is treated properly.

[gizmogal]

Is the husband only seeing mental health professionals?  Maybe he needs to see a neurologist to rule out a brain tumor triggering his erratic behavior. Family history of mental illness is a factor to consider as an implication, but there may be a physiological reason for his extremes. Since there is health insurance, maybe they should get an evaluation that his  behavior is not caused by brain cancer or some other affliction-- bacterial, viral, a  stroke--to make sure it's a psychological disorder. 

A wife can love love him and care deeply, but four kids need protection, structure and stability in addition to witnessing compassion. 

[hckynut]

No

hckynut(john)

[viva923]

the safety of the wife and all the children should be #1.

She should find another place to live while he is in this delusional state. She should talk with him only with health officals around for protection. If he does anything to her, he would get those 4 kids or the 4 kids would go into foster care which can be just as bad as living with the delusional dad.

[Imaoldhippie]

Speaking for myself, I would leave.  She is going to have enough problems when his children start showing mental issuses, which I believe some or maybe all of them will.  Its unlikely that most mental issues can be "cured".  She needs to get a lawyer to protect her, the kids, and any assets they may have.  Also, for the lawyer to see if they can have him put in some type of safety institution for his own and the families safety, which would worry me the most.

[ROMARY]

Maybe physically leave (live with relatives, etc.), but not divorce, until he is more even tempered.  That way he would still be on her medical insurance policy.   That, or maybe get himself on some sort of gov. medical program.  She probably should look into what's best for him and their finances.   There might be several gov programs for him, which, in turn, would lead to more safety for her and their children.  Safety first, even if it means using gov. agencies.