Community Chat

[Goldengate8361]

@Marp You are right, too. I fully admit that I am offended by white lies from friends. It's just not right; I think it's disrespectful. there is much to think about; your insight is appreciated.

[Goldengate8361]

@Mom2Dogs I appreciate your point, but in this case, my friend has always been very, very blunt with me. It's not a one-sided quality in our friendship. I know; it's hard to comment without more info, so I appreciate your thoughts.

[alicedee]

It seems harsh to cut off a long time friendship because they made up an excuse as to why they declined doing you a favor.  That wouldn’t be my decision if we had a history of honesty.

And how did you find out her excuse was not true?  Hopefully not gossiping about it with someone else....THAT would be a deal breaker for me!

[Goldengate8361]

@chiclets Your post is very helpful and heartfelt. I think you nailed it in terms of how I feel--and how I should probably proceed. Thank you....

[Goldengate8361]

To anyone reading this far....I've got to leave my computer for awhile, so I will check to see if there are any other responses later--but I'm signing off for the moment.

(Since was was responding individually, I felt like letting everyone know that.)

[stevieb]

Without knowing the specifics of what was asked and so many other variables, it's impossible to have an opinion. I think we all respect honesty and yet maybe she didn't feel a simple no would suffice. 

[CelticCrafter]

You can either call her out on it and end the friendship right there or you can just let it fade away.

[kitcat51]

There are some who feel guilty saying NO so they make up a white lie on the fly to avoid it...if that's the kind of person my friend is then I'd forgive them. I wouldn't forgive a lie told to hurt others.

[Anonymous032819]

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@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@sunshine45 Fair points made, but in this case, the truth is she SHOULD have been happy to do what I was asking her (but that's another post and would take entirely too long to go into; it wasn't a huge deal), so I don't expect folks reading my OP to have all the answers....I was just interested in everyone's opinion about the importance of honesty in friendships. In this case, we BOTH had a history of being very blunt and honest--and freely saying "no" when we wanted to.

Everyone has an interesting perspective--so I'm grateful for everyone sharing their thoughts and insights.

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Interesting.

You expected your friend to 100% honest with you 100% of the time, but you won't be 100% honest with us in telling us what the favor was.

[Preds]

@Goldengate8361  ... Only you can answer your question.  She made a mistake.  We all make mistakes. 

Is it hurtful enough to cut her out of your life?  Will you miss her "company" if you cut her off?  Is it something you could call her out on and discuss before you call it an end?

You hold the cards ... make your play.  Hope it's a winning hand for you both.