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08-18-2019 03:26 PM
Yes I would stay friends with someone who lied to me. I don't expect a "perfect" friend and I have always been good with forgiving. I think in the end it has brought a lot of good people into my life that if I had discarded because of one mistake, I would be a pretty lonely person by now.
Everyone has flaws whether they want to admit it or not. I know I have plenty...so I give my friends a break.
I wonder if people who tolerate lying are more prone to lying themselves. 🤔
Anyone have any thoughts? 😉
08-18-2019 05:20 PM
being "blunt" as you say you always are with friends doesnt work with everyone.
some prefer to soften the blow by not wanting to hurt their friends.....thus, they make up a "lie." since we dont know what you asked her for, it is difficult to evaluate the situation.
for example, did you ask her for a kidney? did you ask her if you could stay at her home for a few days? did you ask her to loan you money? did you ask her to write you a recommendation? all situations require a different response, even with your best friends.....and saying NO is not always easy. i know it is not easy for me, especially with my close friends.
Bravo...my thoughts too. Some people just can't say no so they make up a lie and that may make them uncomfortable too...therefore the lie is not even good. I agree with your whole post.
08-18-2019 05:44 PM
@Goldengate8361 ...I do not know you but you said that you speak very bluntly...maybe this friend did not know how to say no to you...so she lied instead...but got caught!
I have a friend, maybe a bit like you, she says what she wants and sometimes what she says she should have just kept to herself...manytime what she says is uncalled for. I am still friends with her (our entire life..went to school together, were roomates at one time, etc...) but at times I have to keep her at a distance because of things that she has said that were hurtful....and not just to me, just things in general.
Exactly...she may not like that she is so blunt...they have two different ways of handling thngs. She might be guarding HER feelings knowing how blunt her friend is?
08-18-2019 05:48 PM
I consider myself an honest person. I don’t normally lie.
However....if my friend has a horrible new haircut and comes to me in tears, I will lie and say, “Hey, it’s cute...looks sassy!”
If my sister has a new shirt that is too tight...and asks me how I like her new shirt, I will fudge and say, “Oh wow...what a pretty color...you should wear blue more often.”
If my coworker brings in her new baby to show off and it looks like a red, homely monkey, I will lie and say, “Oh, he is so cute....just precious!”
if that makes me a liar in anyone’s eyes...oh well!
08-18-2019 05:52 PM
@Goldengate8361 I do not have “friends” anymore. After retiring, I found friendship too time consuming and disappointing. I have many acquaintances....but no one I would call a friend.
Aww @SeaMaiden I hate to hear you feel that way. The older we get...the more friendships should be important. We lose mates...then what? Hope you reconsider...not judging you...I hope you understand?
08-19-2019 12:55 AM
Was the favor - oh gosh, my handbag is so heavy with all these 100 dollar bills....can you take a few thousand off my hands?
Yes - you are correct - the friend shoud be happy to do you this favor...
But that wasn't the favor, was it?
08-19-2019 04:15 AM
I notice the OP never shares what the requested favor was that her friend should be so happy to want to do. Wow!!!! Talk about being self-centered! It is possible this person thinks she is going you a favor by maintaining a long distance friendly relationship, maybe since you appear to be self-centered she feels sorry for you assuming such behavior may cause you to be lonely and without friends. So when you asked her for a favor she came up with an excuse since she is already doing you a big favor.
As for not sharing the rest of the story, you are also not being honest, desiring unwarranted sympathy.
Of course I do not know you, I only can draw conclusions from what you wrote here.
08-19-2019 05:14 AM - edited 08-19-2019 05:47 AM
@alicedee that is a mental reservation, and not an outright lie. A lie is malicious and always evil. It sets out to cause another harm or embarrassment. It is never done for the greater good of another
People who brag they have never told a *lie,* must be extremely cruel people
snip ....mental reservation goggle it, and see what New Advent has to say about it
a tacit withholding of full assent or an unexpressed qualification made when one is taking an oath, making a statement, etc
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