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07-04-2016 06:43 AM
If a man truely loves you....he wouldn't be thinking about someone else...
07-04-2016 07:00 AM
To me if a man cheats on his wife he is lacking character and in no way would he be a good man to marry, Who would want that kind of a man? Not me, if I had a husband who cheated on me he would find all his possessions out in the yard and the locks on the doors changed and in no way would I take him back. Cheating in a marriage is unforgivable. I know someone who cheated on his wife and left her for the other woman and about a year later she left him for someone else. He is now alone and is not a happy person. Leaving his children was hard on him but he thought the other woman was worth it. he found out what he did had consequences. Cheating is not good for anyone involved and hardest on the kids. Don't cheat on a spouse and don't marry a cheater.
Find a good man who would not do that.
07-04-2016 07:29 AM
The thoughts that immediately came to mind for me were:
A leopard can't change his spots.
You love who you love.
Everyone has a past, good AND bad.
People can change.
People can't change.
Life is sometimes a roll of the dice.
You can't fix stupid.
It's complicated.
07-04-2016 07:41 AM
Wonder if it would work if Joe and Mika marry. That would be similar to the scenario presented by the OP.
07-04-2016 07:49 AM
@deepwaterdotter wrote:In my single years there were a few men who told me that their wives didn't understand them and that I did. That old chestnut was always a 'red flag' to run like the wind to the nearest exit.
Over time, I've observed that sometimes wife #1 understands her husband only TOO WELL, and doesn't put up a fight when "understanding wife #2" shows up to claim him, because wife #1 really KNOWS what wife #2 is letting herself in for.
07-04-2016 08:44 AM - edited 07-04-2016 08:54 AM
So we ALWAYS blame the man? There aren't any women who are impossible to live with but won't let go in a bad marriage? No women who go into a marriage for other than the best and most loving motives? I know of a few marriages where the man was miserable but she wouldn't let go. Like I said before ALWAYS is a long time. And there are always two people in a relationship. Or there should be anyway. . .
I've been married once and once only to the most wonderful man I ever met and neither of us are or condone cheating. That being said, I've seen a lot of women go after men where he works. Hubby always says it takes two to cheat, and I believe that. One of the two has to fall for it and let themselves be swayed. I've seen women break up a great marriage. I've seen men and women suffer greatly from cheating. And I am here to tell you it isn't always the men on the prowl, and some men are VERY stupid and gulliable about women and what SOME women are after. Each story has it's own facts and reasons and it doesn't go by gender lines.
I am friends with a lot of guys who are my husband's friends. Let me say some of them have put up with an awful lot and remained faithful to some women who don't deserve it. Sometimes I wondered how they did it. A couple got taken to the cleaners in a marriage and it was awful and they were treated horribly by their soon-to-be-ex wives.
I think it is wrong to paint any group of people by their gender.
07-04-2016 08:52 AM - edited 07-04-2016 08:56 AM
no & I feel if one knew he was married she should not ever claim to be part of the sisterhood.
07-04-2016 08:54 AM
07-04-2016 09:02 AM
@Sooner wrote:So we ALWAYS blame the man? There aren't any women who are impossible to live with but won't let go in a bad marriage? No women who go into a marriage for other than the best and most loving motives? I know of a few marriages where the man was miserable but she wouldn't let go. Like I said before ALWAYS is a long time. And there are always two people in a relationship. Or there should be anyway. . .
It might seem this way, but people are responding to the original question and the situation outlined. No one's saying people should stay in destructive relationships forever, but when someone is married, especially if that person has children, they need to do things in a certain way in order to protect their kids and hopefully show some respect for the spouse. Serial cheaters probably shouldn't be married at all because they don't want to give up fooling around. If someone wants to leave the marriage, just sneaking around with another person and, God forbid, having children with her/him while still married isn't the right way to do it. That's a PhD in duh. The children born into these chaotic situations probably pay the highest price of all.
There's something to be said for people respecting their vows and their spouse and children. A married person has responsibilities and should proceed carefully if he/she feels the need to move on.
07-04-2016 09:17 AM
Marriage has to have an element of trust. I would not marry someone who cheated on his wife and I would not be the gal who cheated. Not my style.
Heck what do I know! Hubby and I just celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary. Secret, he is my best friend and I am his. I am even imagining having him around through eternity.
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