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07-03-2016 08:09 PM - edited 07-03-2016 08:10 PM
@GSPgirl wrote:How about if a woman cheats on her husband and divorces him? Is she always a cheater in all of her other relationships?
You are creating a scenerio which could have been done with the original post also.
Alan says he has always been faithful to Susanne Somers after he cheated with her while married so maybe the generalization on men was too large.
07-03-2016 08:12 PM - edited 07-03-2016 08:24 PM
In my single years there were a few men who told me that their wives didn't understand them and that I did. That old chestnut was always a 'red flag' to run like the wind to the nearest exit.
07-03-2016 08:12 PM
I think generally cheaters are cheaters but I do know of both men and women who cheated on their spouses who went on to have successful relationships and never cheated again. These were circumstances where they married usually because of children and shouldn't have been married in the first place. Instead of just being honest and getting a divorce, they did the cowardly thing and cheated.
I've definitely known people who have cheated and didn't do it again. I think it is possible. I would say if the person cheated more than once though, that is likely a pattern and they will do it again. I do believe people can make a mistake and do it once and learn from it though.
07-03-2016 08:13 PM
I think every circumstance is unique. If a man cheats on his wife, it could be that the wife is a terrible person, and the marriage had devolved into a deplorable state for that reason or many others. I don't think people who cheat necessarily do it because they are serial cheaters or get their kicks out of it, I think they do it because they are in a very unhappy marriage and they are desperate for what is lacking at home. It could be that the marriage was just a bad fit, and that the mistress is a better one that could possibly work out. I'm not sure if the 'once a cheater always a cheater' adage is necessarily true. I just think people marry the wrong people too often. I don't condone cheating, but I also don't condone staying in a miserable marriage.
07-03-2016 08:15 PM - edited 07-03-2016 08:21 PM
I was one man's fourth wife. He was divorced when I met him and I did not know of his past wives. After we got married, I heard rumors of his past wives and of his cheating ways. I was blinded by love, my first and the rumors meant nothing. We were married for just over ten years until one day a strange woman holding a child in her arms came and knocked on my door to tell me some news. That was the end of my marriage to that man.
07-03-2016 08:17 PM
I wish I could say, "NO" of course not! But I have certainly had my share of relationships in my younger days. I was crazy about someone who was a genuine womanizer. Luckily, I met my husband and truly I have been fortunate. But I had boyfriends who, I am ashamed to say, would have been for sure cheaters.
I have friends who have had cheating husbands. Awful. One friend was a school principal married to a womanizing attorney. They are now divorced, but the pain was awful for my friend.
07-03-2016 08:17 PM
Regardless of the reasons, it's still wrong to break one's vows. Additionally, there's a lot of sneaking around and lying involved in these affairs. That's wrong too.
07-03-2016 08:20 PM
No, I would have never dated a married man to begin with, so of course that would mean I wouldnt marry him.
07-03-2016 08:21 PM
Any woman who knowingly dates a married man deserves what she gets. "Birds of a feather..."
07-03-2016 08:21 PM
I think it is two people in a unique situation. Who knows? I can't make any judgment on them. I don't know the situation or the people. I would say that sometimes in this world I think two people do belong together for whatever reason. So I'll pass on making a blanket assessment on them. . .
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