Community Chat

[cotton4me]

I loan money to family members from time to time with no expectation of being paid back. I believe any of us can fall on hard times and need a leg up occasionally. I suppose it depends on one’s family and if they’re troubled or irresponsible. The family members I’ve helped are hardworking, responsible people.

[apple1964]

 I do not lend money and I do not borrow money period! Works for me!

[PINKdogWOOD]

NEVER

[Silver Lining]

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@Charming1 wrote:

For me it depends upon who is asking and why they need the money. 

I've loaned money to a family member and also two friends and was paid back by all in a timely manner as I knew I would be. 

There was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray and Debra lend Robert money and then find out he plans to go on vacation. 

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I have a real life example. This now former "relative by marriage" showed up unexpectedly to ask for a loan of $2,500 cash. I had loaned them money in the past which they paid back. I said no can do. Reason too vague this time PLUS having the nerve to appear out of nowhere. Next day we are all at a birthday party and the wife says she has to leave early to finish packing for the cruise she (with some girlfriends) was flying down to Ft. Lauderdale to board the next day. UNBELIEVABLE but true. 

[Lipstickdiva]

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@sidsmom wrote:

Question:

What if they asked for $1000 & the next day they were sporting a new handbag & new clothes?    Do you feel you have a say how they spend your lent money?

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This was an Everybody Loves Raymond episode.  Ray and Debra loaned Robert money and he ended up going to Vegas.  LOL

Anyhow, to answer your question, like so many others I would loan money with the expectation I'm not getting repaid.  I've loaned money twice to family and both times was paid back.

If I loaned money and the next day they had a new handbag, clothes or whatever, I can't say it wouldn't bother me without being in the situation but just because I loan someone money doesn't give me the right to tell them how to spend my lent money.  I give it out of the goodness of my heart and if they choose to you know what it away, that's on them.

I feel the same way if I give money to someone standing on the street.  I give it out of the goodness fo my heart trying to help someone out.  If they buy drugs or alcohol with it, that's on them.    

[Burnsite]

Family and friends?  I give what I have to give, though the amounts would have to be less than astronomical.  I'm not wealthy.

For those asked for larger sums, I can see why loans might be extended.

Though again, most parents I know give to their grownup children when they may need a boost with a house downpayment or grad school costs..

[Lucky Charm]

We've never been asked by family or friends.  I think if friends asked it would be rather uncomfortable, I couldn't even imagine.  I'm pretty sure if people needed money they would ask family first?

[KingstonsMom]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

it would depend on the circumstances.......and i have, but i have also said no and kept the explanation simple.

i always follow this rule though...... i only loan what i can afford to lose.

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@sunshine45

This was one of my Dad's favorite sayings!

Thanks for the memory!

[debic]

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@lulu2 wrote:

We have loaned money to both sides of the family.  Very little was ever paid back.  We went into the transactions knowing there was a good chance we'd never see the money again.

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^ This

And it's a bonus if it gets paid back.   Of course there's limits to how much or how often.

[MaggieMack]

Two years ago, I loaned two friends $3k and $2k respectively. Both very down on their luck. Both promised to pay me back. Neither have. In fact, I haven't heard from either since the loans, both moved out of the area. Does losing that money impact my lifestyle? Not at all. I've already given up hope that it will find its way back to me and, if it does, I will donate to my favorite charities. Losing the friendships does bother me. For that reason alone, I will not loan anyone money again. Plus, I really don't like feeling used.