Community Chat

[Nataliesgramma]

Now that I am retired, I put Judge Judy on while I putz around the house. I can't believe the people who borrow money off a friend or family member and then not pay it back saying it was a 'gift'.......

I, myself, would not.....

[sunshine45]

it would depend on the circumstances.......and i have, but i have also said no and kept the explanation simple.

i always follow this rule though...... i only loan what i can afford to lose.

[Annabellethecat66]

My late husband and I did it all of the time.  Now that he's gone I still do it.

We (and now I) never figured they would pay it back although they always said they would.  

The fact is we have the money to give (and that's what it is in our case) them, so we don't mind doing it.

I think if it puts a hardship on the person to give it, they should think carefully about giving the money away because if they don't pay it back it causes strife in the family.

There were a few that paid it back but a very few.  We never mentioned it again, but most of the time we saw where we were about to help someone and make a difference in their life.

[Allegheny]

It depends upon who the friend or family member is. I know which of them I can and cannot lend money to. I have a sympathetic heart, but can say "no" in a heart beat when it comes to lending money to any one who has a track record. I must add, however, since my post above came off a little harsh, that when I see a friend,family member or even really someone I know well trying but still struggling I'll just give them some money or do something that can help them out.

[June222]

It would depend on the  person, the situation, and my financial security.....If you loan money.....loan it only if you can afford not to be repaid.  If they repay you, great.....but if they do not, move on,let it go and do not cry about it.  Look at a loan as a gift....money you can afford to give up, otherwise just say NO.

[sam96]

Never.

Speaking from experience, it just creates hard feelings between the borrower and the lender.  Borrower feels lender should have just gifted it in the first place, since if they have the ability to "loan" it they must not "need" it as much as the borrower does, and therefore the lender is just being greedy by asking for it back and not being willing to "share the wealth" with the borrower.

Of course, borrower never can understand lender's true finances, or origins of the funds, or the fact that the lender may simply be trying to help teach the borrower a sense of responsibility.

Based on my response, you can probably guess which position I've been in... 😢

Edited to add... I've definitely gifted money to friends/family in need.  I'm not heartless!

[winamac1]

I haven't as I have not had to, but I would.  I know I'd be paid back.  I'd loan it and I'd not charge interest to a family member or friend. 

[NoelSeven]

My father taught me:

"Never loan money unless you are willing to never have it repaid."

I would loan money to a close friend in a minute if they needed it.  I remembered my father's warning when I loaned about $500 to a relative so he could fly home for his father's funeral.  He never paid back a dime of it.  I don't regret it, though, I did it for the family, not really for him.

[lulu2]

We have loaned money to both sides of the family.  Very little was ever paid back.  We went into the transactions knowing there was a good chance we'd never see the money again.

[sgraham30]

I've never loaned money to friends because they never needed it. I have loaned money to my kids & they pay it back as they'are able, a little at a time. I loaned my daughter a good sum & I knew I'd never get it back because it would be a hardship on them to pay me back so her boyfriend worked it off around my house, he redid my main level powder room for me & it's gorgeous.