Would you let co workers force you out? - Page 10

JaneMarple · ‎05-23-2011

@RetRN wrote:
She should definitely not go to HR. I would recommend she start searching for a new job and when she finds one quit. Stress at work is not good for her health. Sadly, she will more than likely find unfairness in future jobs as well, the workplace can be difficult. I wish her well.

I gave one of my daughters this very same advice a few years ago.

You Don't Own Me- Leslie Gore
(You don't Know) How Glad I Am- Nancy Wilson

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@SilleeMee wrote:
If you quit your job then you are still eligible to get COBRA . That should not stop anyone from quitting a job, especially one that brings unhappiness.

@SilleeMee When my DH took a buy-out from a previous job, he was offered Cobra and there was no way we could have afforded that. I ended up just getting a major medical policy so we had insurance and didn't have to worry about pre-existing conditions.

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
@SilleeMee wrote:
If you quit your job then you are still eligible to get COBRA . That should not stop anyone from quitting a job, especially one that brings unhappiness.
@SilleeMee When my DH took a buy-out from a previous job, he was offered Cobra and there was no way we could have afforded that. I ended up just getting a major medical policy so we had insurance and didn't have to worry about pre-existing conditions.

@Lipstickdiva

I know Cobra is very expensive. I mentioned that up thread. I had to buy Cobra insurance when I lost my job from disability and I needed medical care right away. Between paying for Cobra and paying my medical bills I nearly went broke. I'm still feeling the effects of it almost 20 years later. I'm single and have been for 35 years so financially I have been paying for everything with no help from family or a spouse. It's

been hard.

PinkSunset · ‎09-01-2016

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
I cannot say what I would do in that situation because I'm not in her situation. I can say that when you don't care for a co-worker, it can make work very, very tough, especially if you work in a small office.

I hate to say, Human Resources is there to protect the company. I think a chat with them will be useless.

Yep. ITA. HR protects the company, not the employee, They may listen to the complaints and tell you to document what is happening, but people being buddy-buddy to each other is not something you can take legal action against. Even geing "mean" is not. If you accuse someone of being mean to you that person will just act all innocent and say I don't know what you mean. Only tangible actions like fraud, theft, signing someone else's name on a document, invading your privacy ( like looking at your medical chart if you work in a hospital) are offenses that require action by HR,

The rest of it is stuff they hear probably every single day. It's not fair, she's mean, My boss gives me more work than everyone else, they will roll their eyes at those,

Look for another job but be warned that those types of employees are everywhere. they just are,

Lattelvr · ‎09-02-2018

Yes, so agree about HR who are the gatekeepers who are there to protect management. Years ago, the working world was a different place and managers and companies looked out for employees and the statement "the door is always open" was often heard. Flash forward to 2019 and HR is your enemy and so is every supervisor/manager. I think we as woman need to vent. It's our nature and that's where we sometimes falter, especially when we feel we are being bullied or we see an injustice and our job is being hurt. We tend to go to the person who we think will listen and protect us (a/k/a supervisor or boss). I've made mistakes in the past going to supervisors or bosses and have always been burned. No more. Learned my lesson. I was also in a similiar situation as your neice only in reverse when I was the newbie and the longtimers didn't want me. It's hard and you know when it's not going to work. Life is too short and you know when it's time to cut your losses. No one can really tell you what to do whether stay and look or quit. You know when it's time. However, it never hurts to document, document, document. Her cell phone camera is a powerful tool. Pictures don't lie. I'm still in the trenches in the working office world. It's sad as women we have ot put up with this especially since it's our livelihood. Some woman are just nasty.

ILTH · ‎05-18-2015

@Lattelvr wrote:
Yes, so agree about HR who are the gatekeepers who are there to protect management. Years ago, the working world was a different place and managers and companies looked out for employees and the statement "the door is always open" was often heard. Flash forward to 2019 and HR is your enemy and so is every supervisor/manager. I think we as woman need to vent. It's our nature and that's where we sometimes falter, especially when we feel we are being bullied or we see an injustice and our job is being hurt. We tend to go to the person who we think will listen and protect us (a/k/a supervisor or boss). I've made mistakes in the past going to supervisors or bosses and have always been burned. No more. Learned my lesson. I was also in a similiar situation as your neice only in reverse when I was the newbie and the longtimers didn't want me. It's hard and you know when it's not going to work. Life is too short and you know when it's time to cut your losses. No one can really tell you what to do whether stay and look or quit. You know when it's time. However, it never hurts to document, document, document. Her cell phone camera is a powerful tool. Pictures don't lie. I'm still in the trenches in the working office world. It's sad as women we have ot put up with this especially since it's our livelihood. Some woman are just nasty.

So are plenty of men. Nastiness is an equal opportunity offender.

Lattelvr · ‎09-02-2018

I agree there are a lot of nasty men. But men don't play games with other men like this. Women are known for this. I'd rather work in an office full of men than women. Sad but true.

speedy girl · ‎06-03-2018

I agree with the others who said she needs to talk to her superior and let the boss know what is going on. I think she should wait it out for a while as all the years that I was working, I found that the problem people never stay but I always did.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@CalminHeart wrote:
@Meowingkitty wrote:
@stellabystarlight wrote:
I would never let this happen. She should go to the Human Resources department and have a confidential meeting discussing her situation with documentation. She needs to be strong at this time and not allow bullies to force her out!
I’ve often found that HR departments are useless. Oft times some companies don’t even have them locally and sometimes they are overseas. The last company I worked for laid off the entire dept in the states and shipped the work to India. The company I worked before that also laid them all off and left individual supervisors take care of the matter.

I worked for nearly 40 years for a huge international Fortune 500 financial services corporation. I found HR to be more interested in protecting the company than helping employees.

I had a great career and many opportunities until the last 2 years. I was promoted many times and was at a senior level and corporate liaison for many issues. I was being harassed by one of the bosses and filed an age discrimination and harassment complaint. I was scr***d over by both HR and the boss. Luckily, I'd been there from the 'old' days so i had a defined benefit plan and stayed until it was 100% at age 62. I worked parttime from 62-65. But those last 2 years ruined all good thoughts about what I thought was a great company.

@CalminHeart @lovesrecess

ITA that HR works for the company .... HOWEVER ..... when they learn of actions that could leave them wide open to liability and a big lawsuit ... $$$$ .... they tend to step in with suprvisors and "advise" them on how to handle the troublemakers ..... no company welcomes lawsuits.

I wish that had been the case for me. It was clear they were not.

cosmic1 · ‎03-10-2010

HR is there to keep the company from being sued.

Sadly, it sounds like she should find another job, if she does not want to continue to deal with this. If she really wants to stay, then she should cheerfully do whatever she is asked and make sure she documents that she did the work with dates and details. Then she needs to document it into her performance self review. If she does that consistently, her boss may start to pay attention. If nothing changes, she is gaining an advantage by learning more information and increasing her experience. That makes her more valuable to the current employer or a prospective employer. She does not have to help the other 2 by sharing all the information. She just needs to tell then specifically what they ask. If they don’t ask, that is on them.

She does need to keep her own counsel at the office. Bosses don’t want to hear about ‘personality conflicts.’ That is how he would see this.

I strongly disagree that offce politics is a female thing. Men play the game with each other all the time. My best bosses and coworkers have been females.