Community Chat

[KarenQVC]

I don't generally engage with the lawn guy or the snow guy.  Just mail a check.

If I need to speak, I speak from the porch and leave the door open behind me.

Outside people are outside people, sometimes for a reason.

[Mersha]

I can't imagine telling my landscaper, or any worker at my house, not to speak to one of my neighbors whether I liked them or not.  Why would that even come up in the conversation?

With all of the drama, I don't think you will be happy with this particular man so it might be better to cut him loose and find someone else.

[Foxxee]

@RinaRina 

"he fancies himself as some kind "lothario" and has a problem NOT engaging with "the ladies". 

My first impression after reading your post is he's paying entirely too much attention to the ladies, attention that could be unwanted.  Ask yourself, why is he doing that?  Then, think about how other men behaved that provided services for you.  

Think of it this way, by hiring him, you may have brought someone into the neighborhood that doesn't have good intentions.  If he was showing equal attention to both men and women, I might think he's just friendly.  

Landscapers who have done my property have always been professionals, kept to themselves, completed the work, then left.  I invite them into the neighborhood, so I do feel responsible for what they do.  I don't want them bothering the neighbors.  

If you are uncomfortable with him, show him the door or the driveway in this case.  

Find another landscaper before you let him go.  Often they are difficult to get, particularly this time of year.  

[Sushismom]

I personally would NEVER tell someone to whom they may not talk to. It's nobody's right to do that unless you're underage.

[deja vu]

He's a man, don't they usually do the oppisite of what you say. 

[Sooner]

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@Sushismom wrote:

I personally would NEVER tell someone to whom they may not talk to. It's nobody's right to do that unless you're underage.

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@Sushismom He's not a friend.  He is doing a job.  And while doing a job he is to do what his employer wants done.

Like I said above, I for about 8 months had some neighbors whose kids broke into a van down the street, and threw stolen cell phones in my trash.  I avoided contact with them, tried to keep a low profile, and was delighted when they moved.  

We had a guy once at another house who was a gossip, bad mouthed every one around and was scary.  He did mean things to the people on the other side and bragged about it.    All the neighbors avoided him.  We didn't want anything to do with him either.  And he hated women especially. 

So, yes, I'd certainly ask the yard guy to not have contact with them.  Would you blame me for that?  He's not making a social call, isn't there for anything but to do the lawn, so do the work, don't yak with the neighbors and leave.  What is wrong with asking that?  I don't get it. 

[Desertdi]

Is this fella the ONLY landscaper in town?    

[x Hedge]

This whole thing was premised on your assessment that your "neighbors were untrustworthy".

I'm confused, and perhaps he is too. 

Just who is it that you want him not to speak to?

The owners of the adjoining property?

The college girls that were staying there?

The series of other AirBNB temporary occupants?

Or does everyone standing on that side of the property line automatically qualify as "untrustworthy" ?

Would you prefer he say,

"I'd like to return your friendly greeting, or answer your question, but my employer explicitly forbids me from speaking to you."?

If you choose this one they will all share a laugh at your staggering impudence.

Here are the easy solutions:

Make it clear he may neither initiate conversation nor reply if they do. If he can't accept those conditions he shouldn't accept the job.

Try hiring a woman to do the work.

  -Bear in mind, she possibly will/won't flirt but she's just as unlikely to turn her back on someone who's speaking to her, as you require.

Put up a fence.

Find a therapist. All your threads revolve around your frustrations from not being able to control how/what others do. The abiding issue is within you, not them.

[Imaoldhippie]

Why do you even care?

[occasionalrain]

If there was something about the neighbor that may affect him adversely,  I'd tell him about it and leave it to him to decide. However, if I were paying him by the hour, I would speak with him if he spent time socializing with the neighbor on my dime.