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Super Contributor
Posts: 499
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

[ Edited ]

@SahmIam wrote:

@missy1 wrote:

@SahmIam wrote:

Depends on why the person cheated. 

 

I agree 100% with Sidsmom


 

There is no reason to justify cheating.


 @missy1 And that is your opinion, which you are entitled to. Not everyone agrees.  

 

There are many couples who have a "friend" on the side and their spouse is aware of it. Is that still considered cheating? To some, it isn't. To others, it is. This is one of those questions that cause people to believe what works for them must work for everyone else; it doesn't. Hence, my answer and why I agree with Sidsmom. 

 

No one has the right answer but neither is anyone's wrong. It's only right for that specific person. IMHO and experience, a question like this usually leads to arguments whether it's among a group of friends or in the classroom.


A "friend on the side?"

As I said in post #31, there is not room for 3 in a marriage.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,503
Registered: ‎03-26-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

NOPE

Take time every day to enjoy where you are without a need to fix it
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

[ Edited ]

@SahmIam wrote:

@missy1 wrote:

@SahmIam wrote:

Depends on why the person cheated. 

 

I agree 100% with Sidsmom


 

There is no reason to justify cheating.


 @missy1 And that is your opinion, which you are entitled to. Not everyone agrees.  

 

There are many couples who have a "friend" on the side and their spouse is aware of it. Is that still considered cheating? To some, it isn't. To others, it is. This is one of those questions that cause people to believe what works for them must work for everyone else; it doesn't. Hence, my answer and why I agree with Sidsmom. 

 

No one has the right answer but neither is anyone's wrong. It's only right for that specific person. IMHO and experience, a question like this usually leads to arguments whether it's among a group of friends or in the classroom.


 

 

Then why even bother getting married? A friend on the side is cheating. It is good, until one party splits for the side piece. Bye bye!

I don't call having a third person a marriage. 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

Wow that is really unfair. @SahmIam I am sorry this was said to you. It is entirely uncalled for

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,635
Registered: ‎08-19-2014

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

  DH & I have been happily married for 38 years.We are eachothers best friends, confidants etc. We have a beautiful close ,loving relationship.It was built on commitment & trust.

   If he were to cheat on me that trust would be irrevocably broken.It would shake me to my core.That would end our marriage,period.

  Our grown son adores his father for his love & commitment to our family.He has his father’s strong values. If DH cheated on me my son would take it personally.It would be the end of their relationship too.

  People who want to cheat ought to consider the big picture.More than a marriage they are destroying an entire family.

  

  

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,353
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

@SahmIam

 

I agree with you no one can tell any married couple what is right or wrong, people stay married for many reasons, there are times S-x is not one of them

 


@SahmIam wrote:

@missy1 wrote:

@SahmIam wrote:

Depends on why the person cheated. 

 

I agree 100% with Sidsmom


 

There is no reason to justify cheating.


 @missy1 And that is your opinion, which you are entitled to. Not everyone agrees.  

 

There are many couples who have a "friend" on the side and their spouse is aware of it. Is that still considered cheating? To some, it isn't. To others, it is. This is one of those questions that cause people to believe what works for them must work for everyone else; it doesn't. Hence, my answer and why I agree with Sidsmom. 

 

No one has the right answer but neither is anyone's wrong. It's only right for that specific person. IMHO and experience, a question like this usually leads to arguments whether it's among a group of friends or in the classroom.


 

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?


@I am still oxox wrote:

@SahmIam

 

I agree with you no one can tell any married couple what is right or wrong, people stay married for many reasons, there are times S-x is not one of them

 


@SahmIam wrote:

@missy1 wrote:

@SahmIam wrote:

Depends on why the person cheated. 

 

I agree 100% with Sidsmom


 

There is no reason to justify cheating.


 @missy1 And that is your opinion, which you are entitled to. Not everyone agrees.  

 

There are many couples who have a "friend" on the side and their spouse is aware of it. Is that still considered cheating? To some, it isn't. To others, it is. This is one of those questions that cause people to believe what works for them must work for everyone else; it doesn't. Hence, my answer and why I agree with Sidsmom. 

 

No one has the right answer but neither is anyone's wrong. It's only right for that specific person. IMHO and experience, a question like this usually leads to arguments whether it's among a group of friends or in the classroom.


 




Lets make this clear, you can all do what you want in your marriage. It doesn't effect me in any way.
However, IMO having a third wheel is not a marriage.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

@sidsmomthere is precedent for this. King Edward VII kept Alice Kepple as his mistress, As he lay dying, Queen Alexandra, invited her to come, and say her good byes to him

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?


@cherry wrote:

Wow that is really unfair. @SahmIam I am sorry this was said to you. It is entirely uncalled for


Thank you @cherry for posting this.

I agree...the comments directed at Sahmlam are uncalled for.

 

The original post is a hypotethical...a debate...which removes

the emotional factor for discussion. If one wants to bring

personal experiences to the discussion, fine, but not all

of us are doing that. Emotionally responding to an opposing 

thought results in a ‘personal attack’ ..... which is against

Forum Guidelines. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,336
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Would Infidelity In Your Relationship, Be Forgiveable?

IInfidelity is a deal breaker for me.  Once that bond is broken, the trust is gone, the respect is gone, it's over and done.  Not to say that you can just stop loving someone if that happens, because obviously you can't.  There is a lot of hurt and anger and pain involved.  Infidelity happens for a lot of reasons.  But as far as I am concerned, I cannot take it.  If you feel you are not satisfied in your relationship, then you need to leave.  Don't cheat on the other person while you are married.  Have enough respect for your partner to be honest.  For me, if I were to say, o.k. -- you did it, let's just move forward -- I'd never be able to trust them again and never feel that their feelings for me were true and honest.  I'd always be suspicious and never at ease with them again.  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin