Community Chat

[hckynut]

On 3/8/2014 Deb1010again said:

I think I get along with most people on this board and most have a favorable opinion of me. So why is it I tend to focus on the one person or couple of person(s) who think poorly of me? Thinking more broadly, we tend to focus on what might go wrong in a particular situation vs. what will go right. Why is that?

Why do we focus on the negative?

I have never been one that focuses on the negative during my adult years. If I did more than likely that would have taken up a whole lot of my time and brain power. I chose to focus on the present things that were good and how much better things just might be in the future. Also one that concerns myself with things I can change and not things that I cannot, and of course that includes many human beings.

Beats me. There are many hear who think poorly of me and some of them have been here for as many years as yours truly.

Do I care? Nah, got too many good things in my life and beings most of my life is now in the past I don't see any purpose of wasting what I have left of it.

[focksie]

"Thinking more broadly, we tend to focus on what might go wrong in a particular situation vs. what will go right. Why is that?"

Some people (and I have a tendency to do this) focus on what might go wrong to avoid a big disappointment if something does go wrong. I also look at the down side of a situation to "prepare" myself as far as having a plan of action in place.

As far as the slightly different direction this thread has taken, I think nasty or mean posters are very angry, unhappy, or frustrated with things in their personal lives and this is the PERFECT place in which to release those feelings.

[lulu2]

Not everyone focuses on the negative. There are a few posters who seldom offer a positive thought. Everything in the world is gloom and doom. I tend to skip over their posts.

[blackhole99]

Because it's a forum, we like the drama, the s--t and corruption!

[jeanlake]

ANTs in the Brain. Automatic Negative Thoughts. We humans battle about 40,000 fleeting negative thoughts a day. Some people battle better than others. It takes an effort to be a positive person. It's easier to be negative.

[straykatz]

Here's how I see the likes and dislikes here or anywhere else in the virtual world....it is not that much different from real life...you can put a hundreds of people in one room with all degrees of interest and their likes and dislikes....some will get along with everyone...some will get along with a few..and some will get along with no one....not everyone likes each other in the real world so we can't expect it to be different in a virtual world (the internet..specifically this BB)

[mistriTsquirrel]

The old saying, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" comes to mind.

There's nothing to fix in the relationships with posters you get along with...so you may tend to focus on the relationships that need "fixed."

[SurvivedOne]

There is enough going on in everyday, real life to be so involved with what others think of an anonymous person, name on a shopping channel forum. A major waste of time, energy...time and energy you will never get back focusing a major large chunk of life, as many clearly do, on something that is in cyberspace. This is simply an internet forum, entertainment. Not real life which energies should be focused on positive, happy, uplifting whenever possible. Life is difficult enough at times without creating on the internet ongoing dramas where there are none.

[stilltamn8r]

OP, it is a part of human ntaure to tend to focus on the "negative" We, are, after all, problem solvers.

This is why there re so many suggestions for posters who need "help" or ask questions like "What would you do in a certain situation"? Most people are helpers by nature-

In real life, we tend to surround ourself=ves with peole who are stlest somewhat like WE s=are- we red their faces, their verbal and non verbal cues, and most of us, are able to see immediately when we hsve "pleased or displeased" someone, and we react accordingly-

On THESE boards, we are surounded by people who may be VERY different than we are- That is a good thing, but it leads ot many misunderrtstandings and miscommunications 1) because we are sort of on a "delay" and 20 because we cannever know what to expect-

In the case you cite, I think you need to ask yourself why you should CARE if some people here, whom you do not know, "like or dislike" yo- As long as you are comfortable within yourself, I think you shouldn't worry-

And of course, there are ALWAYS going to be people who ONLY see the negative, or who deal with others posted problems by deflecting and turning their posts around to their own liking- that too is just the nature of the BB beast...

[Deb1010again]

On 4/9/2014 stilltamn8r said:

OP, it is a part of human ntaure to tend to focus on the "negative" We, are, after all, problem solvers.

This is why there re so many suggestions for posters who need "help" or ask questions like "What would you do in a certain situation"? Most people are helpers by nature-

In real life, we tend to surround ourself=ves with peole who are stlest somewhat like WE s=are- we red their faces, their verbal and non verbal cues, and most of us, are able to see immediately when we hsve "pleased or displeased" someone, and we react accordingly-

On THESE boards, we are surounded by people who may be VERY different than we are- That is a good thing, but it leads ot many misunderrtstandings and miscommunications 1) because we are sort of on a "delay" and 20 because we cannever know what to expect-

In the case you cite, I think you need to ask yourself why you should CARE if some people here, whom you do not know, "like or dislike" yo- As long as you are comfortable within yourself, I think you shouldn't worry-

And of course, there are ALWAYS going to be people who ONLY see the negative, or who deal with others posted problems by deflecting and turning their posts around to their own liking- that too is just the nature of the BB beast...

Thanks for your very thoughtful post. How did you dig this up from over a month ago? ...just curious.