Why ask for advice if you already know what you're... - Page 2

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

@tennpal15 wrote:
I'm thinking people don't actually want advice.

They just want people to back up whatever decision they've already made.

If your advice doesn't perform that function, it's rejected.

So true!

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

@Lali1 wrote:
Let me preface this by saying this I not related to anyone or any topic here. I didn't want to say this where I experienced it because I didn't want to start any trouble. I gave someone advice about a medical device I use and got blasted for giving an honest answer. My feeling was why ask for advice it you already know what you're going to do and why get mad at people for giving you advice you asked for. It just rubbed me so wrong. It was incredibly rude and uncalled for. All I did was suggest they try something different because it worked for me.
I, too, find this to ba annoying and a waste of my time and energy.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

And people ask why no one posts anymore............after you get shot done, the fun kind of disappears. It is one thing to be disagreeable, another to disagree. Thus, I kind of want to use the other forums more than this one lately.

QueenDanceALot · ‎04-18-2013

Some people just like to set you up to shoot you down.

They have issues.

2blonde · ‎03-10-2010

@Lali1 Maybe all they are really looking for is confirmation for their already-made decision (and you obviously didn't have that). I get phone calls at work asking for help, but when I try to answer them, they won't let me.....they start talking again to drown me out so they won't have to hear what they didn't want to hear!

Laura loves cats!

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Is our dear poster who left recently back? That's what usually set her off. Someone giving a differing opinion (especially on ANYTHING medical) would really set her off.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

I've seen (both on these forums and elsewhere) both sides of the coin on this. It's more usual, I think, to notice when a person asks for advice and shoots every suggestion down, systematically, one by one, post by post. But I have also seen it where an individual will get highly incensed because their one particular bit of advice wasn't followed, or immediately clasped to the bosom of the asker as their perfect solution.

I need to see a definite pattern - every suggestion, every thread of multiple threads - before I make my own judgment. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt until/unless I see that pattern.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

CatLoverDogsToo · ‎03-10-2010

@Lali1 I completely agree with you. I am definitely not referring to anyone on the "Q" boards. You have given me a great opportunity to "Vent" on something that is and has been driving me crazy.

I have a neighbor that I was "friends" with. We now communicate via text only so I get less aggravated. also provide petsitting for her at a discount. I have a luxury pet sitting business that ordinarlily is quite expensive, but give her a 50% discount.

She recently got cats after her last dog died. She admitted she knows nothing about cats and asked me for advice. I gave her lots of informational pamphlets, vet recommendations and of course she ignored all of it. She has managed to kill one of the cats and the other one is not doing all that great either. I no longer pet sit for her but gave her over to one of my independent contractors that doesn't care one way ot the other but does do her best to care for the cat when she is on duty.

Please no one suggest I report her anywhere. She provides food and shelter and the cat is indoor only so nothing can be done. I pet sit for most of the judges in town and have already ran it past them.

She also has an alcoholic daughter that drives drunk and totals cars. She has asked me what she should do about that but of course ignores it. I recommended she not bail her out of jail, not hire lawyers and not buy her more cars. She bails her out, buys her another car, hires lawyers and continues to support her by paying for apartments, furniture and all other things to include buying a van for this girl's loser boyfriend. This "girl" is 34 years old and should be responsible for herself.

She knows I would never do any of that for my two adult children and often remarks about how wonderful my daughter is and how impressed she is that my son is self-supporting and has gotten his life in order. She actually says she wonders how I managed to do that being a single mother as I am. Good grief!

I no longer give her any advice and when she does ask via text, I respond: "Do what you think is best." I pray every day that her daughter does not kill someone while driving drunk.

Thank you for the much needed vent opportunity!

“The price of light is less than the cost of darkness.”
– Arthur C. Nielsen

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

This also happens in life all the time. I have a friend who I keep in touch with through email.She recently emailed me to ask my opinion about the way her new boyfriend was acting.I even emailed back before I responded to ask her if she really wanted my honest opinion.Her response was "I asked you because I can always count on you to tell me the truth".

Well I told her the truth the way I saw it.She didn't like what I said. She accused me of being out of touch because I've been happily married for many years. She even accused me of being jealous of her happiness!! If she was so happy why did she ask my opinion in the first place?

I really believe most folks want you to tell them what they want to hear.They really don't want to hear a different perspective!!

Lali1 · ‎08-21-2014

@Sooner wrote:
Is our dear poster who left recently back? That's what usually set her off. Someone giving a differing opinion (especially on ANYTHING medical) would really set her off.

@Sooner I know nothing about anyone here doing that. I specifically said I was talking about something that happened elsewhere. I'm not one to stir up drama so I intentionally did not post about it at the forum it happened in.