Why Do Some People Ignore The Elderly - Page 3

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

I can remember people talking about this a long time ago. It was particularly galling coming from an MD. I used to see the same kind of behavior toward my mother.

It became an issue then and some hospitals said they were going to talk to their physicians about dealing directly with the patient for the sake of their dignity. Sad to hear it's still going on. I would email the doctor and ask her or him to please address my parent directly.

Reba055 · ‎06-23-2014

@Jordan2 wrote:
I take care of my elderly mother who is 88 years old. She worked most of her adult life as a salesgirl and then in customer service with a freight company. She knows how to speak to people and is friendly. Now she has her senior moments at times but still has her faculties. Heck, I'm a lot younger than she is and I have to write things down or I can forget! Anyway whenever we go to the doctor or in a store people will speak to me like she's not there! If someone calls on the phone about her, they will ask to speak to me. They are assuming that she doesn't know what's going on and has nothing to offer, but she does. I will at times tell them to ask her themselves. It hurts my heart to have her treated this way. I always enjoy speaking to an elderly person and I would say for the most part they enjoy it too. People should be more considerate. One day they will be elderly, I only hope they won't be treated the same.

@Jordan2 I wholeheartedly agree. This really gets under my skin. I've had so many wonderful conversations with elderly people sitting around waiting for appointments, etc.

Of course, many, many with my family members. I'm often shocked at how sharp and articulate they are. Many times they seem to have it together much better than I do, lol. I find their perspectives and life experiences fascinating. I'm also noticing a lot of younger people that are really creeped out by the elderly. This is concerning to me. I guess not being exposed to extended families as much as we were years ago might be a contributing factor ?? How sad.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

My mom is 80 this year, and I see a little of this when I am with her, and I think I know why many do it.

First, some elderly take a moment longer to answer a question when asked. For whatever reason it may be, I think people either get tired of waiting for answers, or assume that they aren't totally understanding and want to make sure at least the person with them does. I know this happens with my mom. More and more, she doesn't hear or understand some things people say to her, she just kind of stares at them, and delays her response, so they turn to me.

If an elderly person has a younger companion with them, it is assumed that they need some kind of assistance, or brought that person to help them in some way or other (whether physically, like can't drive, or to help them remember/understand what all is explained at the visit). So I don't find it totally outside the realm, that service providers would communicate with that person, but should try the elderly person first.

Especially in medical situations, it is imperative that the elderly person get all they need from instructions or inquiries. Doctors don't have a lot of time, and I'm sure want to make sure that everything is covered and understood to protect the patients health. If (wrongly?) addressing their companions aggravates them, they might just try to understand that their best interest is what is most important, and most aren't trying to offend them.

Kalli · ‎03-11-2010

I've seen folks be rude to my elderly parents.

I was walking with my parents on the sidewalk of our main st in town. Got to the point where there was construction and sidewalk was closed. We had to walk around that section out in the road. Mom walks very slowly and I was holding her arm as was Dad on the other side of her. Someone went by on a motorcycle and screamed at us to walk on the sidewalk. Ugh.

Then there was the time my parents told me they were driving in town and out of the blue a "college aged" man rode his bike right into the side of Mom and Dad's van. Left a large round dent with his helmet. He never said a word to them and took off on his bike. Probably didn't want to have to pay for the damage he did.

feline groovy · ‎07-29-2014

I think that it's not just the elderly, but anyone of any age who is less visible to the rest of the world.

And/or has a health challenge of the cognitive, emotional, or physical kind.

Hugs to you and your mom...

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

Well what do you expect from a society that idolizes youth and beauty!

nrm · ‎06-02-2010

@SusieQ_2 Yes, Joan sang it beautifully as did Bette Middler who made it very popular in the '70's. It's a beautiful,very sad song.

esmeraldagooch · ‎03-10-2010

This happened to my mother after breast cancer surgery. The doctors talked to me to tell me what to do, not her. She was very upset about it but I could understand, she was pretty out of it.

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@Mominohio wrote:
My mom is 80 this year, and I see a little of this when I am with her, and I think I know why many do it.

First, some elderly take a moment longer to answer a question when asked. For whatever reason it may be, I think people either get tired of waiting for answers, or assume that they aren't totally understanding and want to make sure at least the person with them does. I know this happens with my mom. More and more, she doesn't hear or understand some things people say to her, she just kind of stares at them, and delays her response, so they turn to me.

If an elderly person has a younger companion with them, it is assumed that they need some kind of assistance, or brought that person to help them in some way or other (whether physically, like can't drive, or to help them remember/understand what all is explained at the visit). So I don't find it totally outside the realm, that service providers would communicate with that person, but should try the elderly person first.

Especially in medical situations, it is imperative that the elderly person get all they need from instructions or inquiries. Doctors don't have a lot of time, and I'm sure want to make sure that everything is covered and understood to protect the patients health. If (wrongly?) addressing their companions aggravates them, they might just try to understand that their best interest is what is most important, and most aren't trying to offend them.

I would have to agree with much of this. While there are some elderly people who remain sharp as they age, there are many others who do not.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

Because they are self-absorbed sh*ts. There were not raised to appreciate people no matter their age or income or anything else. Often, their occupation encourages the "I am better than you" mindset.

Add in "youth" is everything and there ya go.