Re: Why Do Some People Ignore The Elderly

eddyandme · ‎09-24-2011

I'm sooo sorry for what your Mom's experiencing. There's no excuse for rudeness! People who try to ignore your Mom should promptly be put in their place. I was fortunate, when me and my Mum went places, she never got ignored. In fact, I recall teasing her every now and then when it seemed an elderly gentleman would kinda flirt with her - we had many joyful laughs when that would happen! Actually. quite often when we went places, she'd get compliments as to how nice she looked! (And she beamed!)

As far as doctors, etc., they wouldn't dare ignore her - I could be quite a force to be reckonned with and if they upset me - well, let's put it this way, they certainly had an excedrin headache!

Thanx for bringing back some happy memories. And, again, sorry for others ignorance and rudeness.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

I have always prefered the company of those much older than me. Ever since I was a young child I was happy to be around the adults. I liked hanging out with my elderly babysitter even when she wasn't taking care of me. She lived across the ally behind our house so she was within walking distance. I was devestated when she passed away. She was one of my best friends.

oceanbreezy · ‎03-05-2011

I accompany my parents to places since they no longer drive. Mom and Dad are in their late 70's and 80's. They let businesses know who is in charge, especially my dad. He is very strongwilled. My mom dresses very stylish and is authoritative. She gets compliments all the time. My dad dresses fashionably also. I let them handle business as I oversee what's going on. Despite their illnesses, my mom with Alzheimer's and my dad with COPD, they like to live and do business independently. I sometimes feel under-utilized but certainly ok with it. I'll step in when necessary.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

It happened to my mom occasionally at the nursing home. Probably 80% of the residents had some kind of impairment, 80% of those severe, so the employees were used to being surrounded by patients with comprehension issues, and needed to be reminded occasionally that not ALL their patients had issues.

Minimum wage clerks in stores can't be bothered to attempt to be perceptive enough to know an impaired person from aware and sharp, sadly, but IMO *everyone* in the doctor's office should absolutely be aware, and treat all of their patients as compos mentis until and unless demonstrated otherwise. That's their *business* and if they don't show that they know the difference...

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

Not sure how ELDERLY I am but I rather enjoy it.... I get a senior discount as does my husband and I love to PLAY the perception many have of older citizens. Doors are opened for me... some even carry my bought items, put groceries in my car for me. Some speak loudly to make sure I can really hear or understand or both. And what is really great fun is pretending to be not quite capable with electronics and have THEM try to help me. Then I break the good news to them and totally freak them out when I know more than they do.

Once at a square dance exhibition the YOUNGER CROWD thought they could just come into the square and do what was needed execute the calls. Well three minutes later they sat down and we had to replace them with OLD PEOPLE to finish.

I guess it is how you look at it. And my motto.... If you are lucky enough you will live to be old too.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

I'm getting it from my two youngest granddaughters, 13 and 16. They used to run to me just a few years ago . . . "grandma, grandma." No more.

First, one of my hands is RA-disfigured and they "can't look at it." They have absolutely nothing to say to me, although they do hug me and say "luvya" when I come and go.

Part of it is their noses are always into their tech devices and I realize that. The rest of it is they are teenagers and just not interested in ole' grandma anymore.

They will outgrow this, as my 25-year old granddaughter has. I just hope I'll still be here for that, LOL!

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

orange · ‎03-09-2010

@Ms X wrote:
It would never occur to me not to address a person directly just because he or she is elderly. I have been unsure of what to do when I've spoken to an older person who seems to be hard of hearing. Do I start talking really loud? Will it be too loud and so seem insulting or just odd?

It's sort of like when someone who has a disability might be able to use some help but is not obviously struggling. I always wonder what to do because, again, I don't want to be insulting. I rarely offer help because they seem able to do well on their own.

I simply ask - same as I would anyone else who may be having some trouble. Whether there is a disability or not, there's not harm in saying 'would you like some help'? I think our society has developed a kid gloves attitude with folks who have disabilities because they are afraid of insulting them but to me good manners are never insulting. And I've also never had anyone be upset with me for being helpful or polite.

orange · ‎03-09-2010

@SahmIam

Wow, you sure are assuming a LOT ......

I also think it's likely that when an "elderly" person is accompanied by a younger adult, it's easy to assume the younger adult needs to be there due to some sort of cognitive or hearing problem.

If an older person is fully functional, why would they need the "assistance" of another person to go with them? It could just be a honest mistake.

I think I can help answer this. As my mom got older she became a bit more nervous about health issues and appreciated the assurance of having me there for moral support when she had a doctor's appointment. I was someone to chat with while waiting for the doctor. As we get older I think we consider our mortality more than we did when we were younger. And my mom is still 'with it'.

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

I have a sister in law who is from the Phillipines and it's the opposite in their culture. The older you get, the more respect you get. They even have a special name for you. Unfortunately, America will never understand this and the media doesn't care. It's all about the young celebrities selling to the young people. I'm 57 and I have already noticed descrimination. Try going to the Mac counter. They look at you like you don't belong there. They lost a huge sale that day.

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

@orange wrote:

@SahmIam

Wow, you sure are assuming a LOT ......

I also think it's likely that when an "elderly" person is accompanied by a younger adult, it's easy to assume the younger adult needs to be there due to some sort of cognitive or hearing problem.

If an older person is fully functional, why would they need the "assistance" of another person to go with them? It could just be a honest mistake.
I think I can help answer this. As my mom got older she became a bit more nervous about health issues and appreciated the assurance of having me there for moral support when she had a doctor's appointment. I was someone to chat with while waiting for the doctor. As we get older I think we consider our mortality more than we did when we were younger. And my mom is still 'with it'.