Why Do People Ask For Advice... - Page 4

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

I make it a practice to never give advice. Will tell my personal experiences with similar situations in my life, and maybe offer a suggestion to them.

If asked a specific question about a topic I feel I know quite well, I will tell them what i know from my knowledge bank on that specific topic. Ask me any question and I will most likely answer it. Ask me for advice? I will leave that to others

hckynut

hckynut(john)

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@Cakers3 wrote:
@rms1954 wrote:
Why do people clearly not read a response from a poster but turn around and accuse the responder of something that poster never said???? Many questions remain that we are unable to answer.
@rms1954 LOL Yes, I defended a poster the other day and she slammed me for picking on her. Obviously reading comprehension was not her forte that day.

@Cakers3 Yes, I saw that and tried to set the record straight as I could see the poster obviously misunderstood what you were saying. That does happen and it pays to go back to original post and reread it.
I also think a lot is in how we deliver what we are trying to say. Of course the original poster needs to realize anything can happen. New people here might not see that so, just know if you jump in.....jump in with your eyes open! People are funny.

Imaoldhippie · ‎06-10-2015

When most people ask for advise they want conformation for the solution they already have in their mind. Any variation that makes them feel that their solution is not correct or the answer then they feel angry.

My feelings on asking for advise is................If you dont want to hear the answer then dont ask the question.

Advise is just that, not the solution.

LIFE IS TO SHORT TOO FOLD FITTED SHEETS

San Antonio Gal · ‎05-18-2017

@KKJ wrote:
I agree people can be rude and mean here. I don't like it when a person posts regarding a medical problem they have and basically seeing if others are going through it too, and they get harshly rebuked for even asking. They will say "why are you asking that here" or "don't ask that here", "ask your doctor!" Kinda harsh IMO.

I so agree @KKJ . I think that is so rude when someone replies you ask your doctor instead. One time I asked suggestions on the beauty forum for a product and someone replied that I needed to google instead of asking. So condescending.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@suzyQ3 wrote:
More times than I count, some posters frame their response or advice is a very rude tone.

Yes, that happens a lot here. They almost need to have a warning sign for new people saying...."Be Informed that some answers will be offensive".

If you cannot handle people who are snarky and rude then it may not be wise to post here. However, one could look at it as a great learning course in psychology as to what works for you and what doesn't. I have always thought that anyone teaching psychology should send their students to a forum where they could get first hand online experience! ! !

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

I think often people already know what they want to do but they need someone to say --- yes, you are doing the right thing! If somesone says -- no, I think that is not the correct thing, then they feel upset or even angry because they already made up their mind the way they are going to go and can't understand why someone is telling them they are wrong and should go in another direction. Many times someone already knows that what they are going to do is wrong and when confronted with the truth, they lash out! It's kind of like when a child does something wrong and tries to hide it and then the parent finds out!

I won't say who or go into details but I have someone in my life who is like this. This person continually asks me, even begs me for advice, which I try and give, and then this person totally ignores the advice, does the exact opposite or gets extremely angry with me! I am now trying to avoid giving advice and just saying --- well, what do YOU think you should do, or what do YOU think would be the best thing? That would be the direction to go in.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Buffalogal47 · ‎07-14-2010

Shopping for answers until they find someone who tells them what they want to hear?

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@jubilant Thank you-and I'm still being followed around on another thread. LOL

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

What one considers "snarky" "rude" etc. is in the eyes of the reader-perceptions based on general dislike of a poster and his/her opinions.

We all have our own biases against certain posters for whatever initial cause but that is not the issue.

The issue is we carry that initial impression into every single thread and summarize what the person is saying as rude. Or we decide the poster is the gem of the board, no matter how much that person has shown another not-so-nice side.

I apologize when warranted; I don't expect kudos for it. It is just the right thing to do. I usually ignore tags that are meant to bait and continue a disagreement because nothing is that important.

My writing may not be seen as the best; I may be viewed as the worst poster on the planet. It doesn't matter-that is a perception I will never change because it is already set in stone. Nor do I care to change it.

And yet there have been posters with whom I sparred and ended up extending olive branches and now we are good friends.

I'm sure some posters cringe when they see my nic. It's fine.

I'm just not that important nor is hand-wringing over something said by an anonymouse poster.

I don't know everyone's story; bad day, bad health, family loss, general bad mood. It doesn't matter. I take what I like and let the rest go-most times.

We all carry baggage; how heavy we pack that baggage is on us and on us alone.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

@jubilant wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
More times than I count, some posters frame their response or advice is a very rude tone.
Yes, that happens a lot here. They almost need to have a warning sign for new people saying...."Be Informed that some answers will be offensive".

If you cannot handle people who are snarky and rude then it may not be wise to post here. However, one could look at it as a great learning course in psychology as to what works for you and what doesn't. I have always thought that anyone teaching psychology should send their students to a forum where they could get first hand online experience! ! !

@jubilantThis board is a valuable tool for me. If you pay attention it shows and tells exactly what the poster is like behind the keyboard. People are more brazen with anonymity, but it still gives a clear look into their character.

People ask for advise for many reasons. Some use confirmation bias, meaning they always look for some reason, or person that confirms what they want to do. Some are at point where they really do not know what to do, and others just want a different viewpoint in order to make a more informed decision.

The problem with this board, as many have pointed out are the nasty comments that many here call advise.