Who would you all contact about this situation? - Page 6

Say Nay · ‎03-12-2010

https://pittsburghcemeteries.wordpress.com/category/smithfield-east-end-cemetery/

Is this it? ^^^

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missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

When you enter a loved one in a cemetery, there is a possibility ownership will change. (and things will be differently) As long as the deceased bodies (are not moved or other people buried with them, or the headstones damaged), I wouldn't complain to much. (I have read those stories)

Occasionally, I go and tidy the headstones/surroundings areas of my relatives

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

They only mow at ours. The weed pulling and disposal of the weeds, planting and bringing water is up to us.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Those pictures are definitely previous to thew current owners - it doesn't look like that now.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@Mominohio wrote:
@bri20 wrote:
That's one of the reasons why I do not wish to be buried in a cemetery. It puts a burden in someone to care for it. It's a shame
It is a shame when things like cemeteries are neglected. The real shame is that the living don't find the time to just do it. Not everything is a burden, some things are just responsibilities that people now find unfashionable to live up to.

Some people live hundreds, if not thousands of miles away and can't do it.

Some people are physically unable to do it.

Some find it too painful to visit the grave of a deceased loved one, and keeps their memory alive in other ways.

yes, and that is only some, which still leave some others to do what needs done.

scotnovel · ‎12-31-2013

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
The church is not legally responsible for maintaining property that they no longer own.

True, but perhaps there is some moral responsibility due to the connection to the church. I wonder too if there was some clause in the contract when it was sold that required a certain level of maintenance.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@bri20 wrote:
@Mominohio wrote:
@bri20 wrote:
That's one of the reasons why I do not wish to be buried in a cemetery. It puts a burden in someone to care for it. It's a shame
It is a shame when things like cemeteries are neglected. The real shame is that the living don't find the time to just do it. Not everything is a burden, some things are just responsibilities that people now find unfashionable to live up to.
Yes, it is a shame.

Sometimes there are underlying reasons for people not going to a cemetery.

Your expectations of how people should conduct their life is clearly a passive aggressive jab.

I think you misunderstand. It was not a jab. I pointed out no particular person, but that in general, cemeteries are allowed to be neglected.

The fact is, that some people on here find it shameful that cemeteries are neglected, and it is a shame. People paid money to have a final resting place that deserves to be maintained. Over time, the businesses that start many of the cemeteries fail, or some of the oldest graveyards only ever had family care or care from churches that are no longer there.

There are plenty of people out there, without fears and phobias about visiting and maintaining graves, who don't care if it is their family or not, but would be glad to be part of the community to care for something that is an important part of our culture.

I get a little tired of the whining on here, about burdens, and can'ts, and excuses, and why nots. Ok, if it isn't in you so be it (and of course if you live away, or can no longer physically do it).

But tending graves, whether they are people you know or just something you wish to help out with to preserve the history and honor the dead don't make you morbid or demanding or obliged. It isn't a burden to many, and those that consider it such, are in my opinion, lacking a little maturity. Life comes with certain grown up responsibilities, like attending funerals and tending graves, and somehow those of us that find it important to do so, are made to feel that because we consider it so, we are judgmental. I never heard anyone here say it was the only way to honor the dead, or that everyone should participate, but some sense of guilt or embarrassment from not doing so might be the motivation for the less than nice comments from those who see no reasons to do it, and be rude to those who choose doing so.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@151949 wrote:
@bri20 - I totally disagree with you. When people don't want to live up to their responsibilities they make up some excuse like saying you have no right to tell me how to live. I often wonder how some folks were raised, what examples were set for them as children. Obviously not the ones that were set for me.
And to the person who thinks my DH and I should go there and do this ourselves - I'll hack down 26 acres of weeds around hundreds of headstones right after you show me how a 72 year old man and a 67 year old woman would accomplish that. We did around about 40 graves that are our family plots, as I already stated. And this is Pittsburgh - these are not level lots these are mountainsides.

@151949

I was one that suggested 'it starts with me'. and that wasn't a jab at you. You went and did your part. And if and when you can do more, you will. What I meant was that it starts with all of us. To get things done, it takes many hands, and someone has to be first to step up. It appears you and your husband did just that, and I'd bet others saw your lead, and did or will do even just a little to help out.

We occasionally visit my mom's hometown of Washington PA, and the cemetery there and the one in Scenery Hill are quite breathtaking with the hills and valleys.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@esmerelda wrote:
@151949 wrote:
@bri20 - I totally disagree with you. When people don't want to live up to their responsibilities they make up some excuse like saying you have no right to tell me how to live. I often wonder how some folks were raised, what examples were set for them as children. Obviously not the ones that were set for me.
And to the person who thinks my DH and I should go there and do this ourselves - I'll hack down 26 acres of weeds around hundreds of headstones right after you show me how a 72 year old man and a 67 year old woman would accomplish that. We did around about 40 graves that are our family plots, as I already stated. And this is Pittsburgh - these are not level lots these are mountainsides.
@151949 Do the ones that matter to you and forget the rest. They aren't your concern. If they really DO bother you, do them with a happy attitude. Don't waste your time trying to lay blame for them not being done. It sounds like an attempt is being made, just the fine work of trimming and weeding is going undone. If the people buried there matter to you, just do it. If not, forget it. Quit stewing.

I heard long ago that cemeteries are the gold mines of the future...all the precious metals and gemstones people are buried with.

It took one cemetery with stones whose writing was made unreadable by time and acid rain and the idea that nobody knew or cared anymore who they were for me to decide on cremation and ashes cast...somewhere.

Finally, IMO gravesites can be a source of guilt for those left behind who don't visit as often as they think they should.

It's dirt and stone and weeds. Our loved ones are not there. They are with us.

The point right there. If someone feels guilt, it is for a reason. They know they haven't done what is right....for them. So if not visiting graves is what is right for them, there would be no guilt, and no reason to be offended by those who do find it important.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@AKgirl2 wrote:
Nice idea, but I think it's too creepy for kids to do.

This is how we get adults that can't handle things, isn't it.

My kid has been taken to the cemetery since he was very young. We walk many historic cemeteries to learn the history of an area, feel the lives of those who lived and died in other times, learn our own family history and more.

Nothing creepy about it. We all begin the journey of dying, from the minute we are born.