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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,370
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)


@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@beach-mom

 

 

 

What does "I'll Venmo the postage" mean?   Anyone? 


Internet cash transfer service

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,937
Registered: ‎03-30-2010

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)

I'm old, so my point of view is about what weddings used to be.  Yes, there was usually 1 shower and the bridesmaids were not expected to host or attend, however they were certainly invited.  It was usually hosted by a female family member.  Gifts were basic, toasters, towels, casserole dishes, etc.  

Bachelorette parties did not exist.  When did these enter the bridal must haves?  

Bridesmaids had one duty, to walk down the aisle before the bride prior to the ceremony.  There were no bridesmaids' gifts from the bride.  

Weddings today have become an industry.  Bridal gowns priced in the thousands of dollars, elaborate venues and decorations all organized by a well paid planner. 

Brides whose goal is to outdo their friends' weddings. 

Sorry, give me the good old days!  BTW, I didn't have a wedding, we eloped!  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,415
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)


@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@beach-mom

 

 

 

What does "I'll Venmo the postage" mean?   Anyone? 


Hi @Tinkrbl44 - Like @Isobel Archer posted, it's a way millenials use to pay each other. My kids use this all of the time and are constantly talking about it. DS (in college) will pay for a friend's dinner, and the friend will "venmo" the money to his account later, or vice versa. DD uses it a lot with friends who sell Lularoe and such and don't live around here. It just seems to have come out of nowhere to me. All of the sudden this is what "we" are doing! (?) I still don't understand it, and I won't ever use it! Smiley Wink

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,181
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)


@this is my nic wrote:

I'm old, so my point of view is about what weddings used to be.  Yes, there was usually 1 shower and the bridesmaids were not expected to host or attend, however they were certainly invited.  It was usually hosted by a female family member.  Gifts were basic, toasters, towels, casserole dishes, etc.  

Bachelorette parties did not exist.  When did these enter the bridal must haves?  

Bridesmaids had one duty, to walk down the aisle before the bride prior to the ceremony.  There were no bridesmaids' gifts from the bride.  

Weddings today have become an industry.  Bridal gowns priced in the thousands of dollars, elaborate venues and decorations all organized by a well paid planner. 

Brides whose goal is to outdo their friends' weddings. 

Sorry, give me the good old days!  BTW, I didn't have a wedding, we eloped!  


I think even back in the day, bridesmaids did more than "just walk down the aisle."  At the very least, they attended the rehersal and dinner and often participated in reception duties.

 

This bridesmaid apparently - even tho she agreed to more - wanted to - as you put it - just "walk down the aisle."

 

The way I look at it - don't agree to do something you don't want to do - and then expect the other party to be happy when you tell them you are not going to do it after all.

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Posts: 30,367
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)

Sometimes no one is "right" or "wrong" .......  in spite of people always trying to boil it down to that.

 

From what I was able to get from post # 1, the bride did a poor job of communicating her expectations ....  very important if anyone in the bridal party lives out of town.  It appears that the bride thought various attendances were mandatory for everyone.   Am I getting this right?   

 

The brides maid probably wasn't aware of all the "duties" that were expected of her ...... but most seem like Maid of Honor duties, not bridesmaid.   

 

As I said, this isn't about right or wrong ..... just very vague communications by both parties.    JMO

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Posts: 3,181
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)


@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

Sometimes no one is "right" or "wrong" .......  in spite of people always trying to boil it down to that.

 

From what I was able to get from post # 1, the bride did a poor job of communicating her expectations ....  very important if anyone in the bridal party lives out of town.  It appears that the bride thought various attendances were mandatory for everyone.   Am I getting this right?   

 

The brides maid probably wasn't aware of all the "duties" that were expected of her ...... but most seem like Maid of Honor duties, not bridesmaid.   

 

As I said, this isn't about right or wrong ..... just very vague communications by both parties.    JMO


I just have to wonder - given the difference in the tone of the bride's communication to the bridesmaid and the public trashing of the bride by the bridesmaid on twitter.

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Posts: 3,770
Registered: ‎10-05-2010

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)

I wonder how soon before the wedding this happened.  Maybe when she got her schedule, the bridesmaid didn't want to cause the bride a  problem by backing out at the last minute.  But if that was the case, she should have been relieved to get the bride's email. 

 

So the fill-in gets chosen by whoever she knows who is the same size lol

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Registered: ‎04-21-2018

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)

It cracks me up how many “events” are associated with weddings now 

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Posts: 13,850
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)

 

 

I really don’t think the bridesmaid has done anything wrong. Unless I missed something.

 

Alex the bride, she is a piece of art. Tacky to ask this friend to be her bridesmaid.. Alex knew she was in college and had classes she must attend to graduate.  Knowing this friend of hers was attending college, she should have realized she may not be able to attend the “WHOLE” event due to classes or jet flights.  Alexshould NOT have asked this friend to be bridesmaid in the first place.

 

I think Alex telling this friend to mail her the bridesmaid outfit to so & so so she can fill in. Sorry again super tacky.

 

 

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Posts: 3,181
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

Re: Who do you think is right? (Bridesmaid fired story)

I guess what I don't understand is why - if the bridesmaid is now only available to attend the ceremony - and clearly has no problem telling the bride - oh hey sorry I'm now not going to be able to do anything else I agreed to do - is she so upset that the bride is getting someone else to do what she isn't going to be able to do.

 

And now she's not even going to the wedding.  And apparently she no longer thinks of the bride as a friend.

 

I'm just not getting a picture of a Bridezilla here.  Yes, she apparently planned a weekend of festivities culminating with the wedding reception Sun night.  OMG how thoughtless of her.  And who knows if she really has someone else to fill in - or if she's being nice in offering to pay for the jumpsuit.  I mean if she  had someone else, she could leave it to two of them to sort out the reimbursement - if she was really the selfish witch she's being portrayed as.