When to reveal your finances when dating. - Page 3

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

Since they are planning a future together, hire a private detective to do a background/financial check.

Dating = None of your d@mn business when it comes to knowing ones finances.

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@SaRina wrote:
@LilyLu wrote:
He has share his financial information. He has very little and a young daughter from a previous relationship to support for many more years. I think he knows my daughter is much more financially secure. I think he expects because he has shared his information my daughter should as well.
As "lovely" as he might be, this is a very big deal and I would have to think twice about such a relationship.... but that's me.

I was just going to write this, but I figured I would get pounced on. When I was younger, not going to marry someone with kids.

LilyLu · ‎06-25-2016

She and I are the owners of the business. I just feel that until they plan on sharing the bills that her finances should not be of concern to him. I really don't think his concern is how much debt she has, I think his interest is more in how many assets she has.

Kitlynn · ‎03-09-2010

It is not anyones' business about your finances until you are actually getting married and have set a date. Then it can be discussed on both sides including debt you have and income. Until then her money is hers and his is his and they only need to know that the other person has a job.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?

Daughter is a professional, financially $ecure, co owner of business (with mom) = prenup...no one's that lovely!😕

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@LilyLu wrote:
She and I are the owners of the business. I just feel that until they plan on sharing the bills that her finances should not be of concern to him. I really don't think his concern is how much debt she has, I think his interest is more in how many assets she has.

I agree with the other poster. Your daughter can just make a general statement and that she will discuss this further with him when the time comes.,

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?

@LilyLu

No ... a ring and a date is too late. Maybe he's been given the impression she makes a LOT of money and he is concerned he doesn't make enough. Does your daughter know any of the basics about his finances. There should be no surprises on either side.

If these two are really having talks about a future together, it's smart to talk about money NOW. How much does he make ... and what is his credit score, for starters.

Just another thing to share .... Years ago I was dating and tried using match dot com. I connected with an interesting man who was looking for a woman who, among the other usual traits, was financially stable. Come to find out, he had lost pretty much everything in the stock market and wanted to find a partner who was solid while he was working to re-build his assets. I give him points for being honest, but I passed ....

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

@LilyLu wrote:
She and I are the owners of the business. I just feel that until they plan on sharing the bills that her finances should not be of concern to him. I really don't think his concern is how much debt she has, I think his interest is more in how many assets she has.

This is what I was alluding to in my previous post. IMO it's not an ideal situation (union) for your daughter. Unless she knows this man really, really well....and his motives.....I can see him taking financial advantage of her. Sorry to be blunt, but it is a red flag to me.

ETA: Realizing I didn't answer your question..... Under the circumstances of his questionable financial security, and the fact that he is asking her about her financial situation, and the fact that they have not committed yet, I'd say she should not reveal any particulars until they have committed. And if it goes that far, a pre-nup goes without saying.

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

The fact that you are asking tells me it feels off to you. Which shows you are smart. Women are so eager to nest and sometimes ignore red flags. The fact that he is asking and comes with a huge financial obligation means more dating is needed to know his true character,which could be wonderful or not. It is so easy to combine finances but pure he11 to untangle.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?
@LilyLu

No ... a ring and a date is too late. Maybe he's been given the impression she makes a LOT of money and he is concerned he doesn't make enough. Does your daughter know any of the basics about his finances. There should be no surprises on either side.

If these two are really having talks about a future together, it's smart to talk about money NOW. How much does he make ... and what is his credit score, for starters.

Just another thing to share .... Years ago I was dating and tried using match dot com. I connected with an interesting man who was looking for a woman who, among the other usual traits, was financially stable. Come to find out, he had lost pretty much everything in the stock market and wanted to find a partner who was solid while he was working to re-build his assets. I give him points for being honest, but I passed ....

@Tinkrbl44 ~ glad you passed and he shoulda gotten a kick in his assed! He was a loser!