Community Chat

[Mellie32]

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?

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It's as simple as that.  Until he marries her, it's none of his business.

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What?  That's horrible advice.  Every couple needs to discuss their finances before they're married.  Every marriage counselor will tell you that because money issues are the #1 cause of divorce.  You need to put everything out there on the table so you know that you're on the same page when it comes to money.  

Who would want to marry a guy and then find out that he's hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and spends money like crazy instead of trying to get it paid down?

[itiswhatitis]

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@Mellie32 wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?

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It's as simple as that.  Until he marries her, it's none of his business.

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What?  That's horrible advice.  Every couple needs to discuss their finances before they're married.  Every marriage counselor will tell you that because money issues are the #1 cause of divorce.  You need to put everything out there on the table so you know that you're on the same page when it comes to money.  

Who would want to marry a guy and then find out that he's hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and spends money like crazy instead of trying to get it paid down?

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@January121, 

I guess @Mellie32, thinks you're giving bad advice.  See above.

[Group 5 minus 1]

I think before you marry finances should be worked out. We did and it was complicated or easy but the most important thing is trust. If just dating I do not think it is anyones business and the constant asking is a RED FLAG!!

[Group 5 minus 1]

Another if the daughter has a job and is so professional why is Mom getting into her business?

[LilacTree]

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@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?

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@LilyLu

She should run!  And if she doesn't see that, you should advise her!!

I never trusted "lovely men."

[Mellie32]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?

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@LilyLu

She should run!  And if she doesn't see that, you should advise her!!

I never trusted "lovely men."

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What kind of men do you trust, then?

[LilacTree]

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@Mellie32 wrote:

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?

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@LilyLu

She should run!  And if she doesn't see that, you should advise her!!

I never trusted "lovely men."

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What kind of men do you trust, then?

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Unfortunately, I have a very short list.

ETA:  I like men as friends.  And that has been for a very long time.

[ROMARY]

Everything would be somewhat perfect, more or less, if he would just stop asking her about her finances.........It's obvious (to me) that he's bothering her with all of his many questions.  It would bother me, too.  Well, I'd just ignore him and change the subject whenever he asks.  Still.....something's not right, imo.  Again wishing each of them good luck.  And the O/P isn't meddling, since her daughter is relaying her BF's questions to her mom.  I'm thinking/guessing that her daughter is seeking some sort of direction and/or advice.