Community Chat

[sam96]

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@lovescats wrote:

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@brownponytail80 wrote:

As a parent, what do you feel is appropriate or inappropriate for a teacher to do when a child is crying at school and needs a little comfort?

As a starting off point, is this okay?

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It seems ok but I think you need 2 photos another one with the sexes reversed.

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I'm not sure I fully agree with this statement.

One of my boys had a male kindergarten teacher.  There were a few occasions that I knew that he had been hugged.  I was completely comfortable with the situation, as was my son, the teaching staff, assistants, and administration.

This was not something he did on a regular basis, as he wasn't the "demonstrative" type, but the kids adore him! On the rare occasion that comfort was needed, he would give it.  Parents of the girl students adore this teacher as well (even now), and he's gone on to be teacher of the year.  He continues to teach K or 1st grade.

No one has ever questioned his ethics or intentions.  Ever.

[LucyGoose]

????? Wha?????

[RedTop]

I had a hard time transitioning to going to school, and was also the smallest child in my class for my first few years of school.  I remember crying a lot because I wanted to go home, and I was knocked down numerous times on the playground, or in the gym by older students.  Anytime I cried, I got to sit on the teachers lap while she spoke to me softly and calmed me down.  I loved my first, second and third grade teachers dearly, and enjoyed many hugs from them thru the years---even after I was in junior high and high school, these teachers would hug me in the hall, office, or cafeteria.  My first grade teacher is alive and well at 96, and sent me a touching handwritten note last Christmas telling me how special I was to her, and how she was thought I was just the cutest little thing from day one.  Her note made me cry.  I am grateful for the wonderful memories I have of this special teacher, and sad that the world has changed so much that a comforting hug for a scared, or injured child is not allowed.  I think it was quite acceptable 55 years ago when I was 5, but understand teachers today have to be far more careful.  

[surfk]

deleted by poster

[brownponytail80]

We watched Charlotte's Web in kindergarten and I remember crying my eyes out.  I also remember being confused as to why no one else was sad at all.  My teacher let me sit on her lap until I stopped crying.

I had a couple students this past year who had a hard time leaving their moms in the morning.  I would call them over to my desk, hug them (side hug), rub their back and talk softly to them about how much fun we'd have today and they would see their mom in no time.  If that didn't help, I'd pick a student in the class to stay close to them and comfort them whenever they needed it.

[lovescats]

I don't remember crying at school but I remember the teachers saying to kids  the same thing my parents told me at home keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about only the teachers ( mainly nuns ) followed thru a lot faster than my parents ever did.  My parents were in their 40's when I was born and I don't think they had that much energy anymore.

But as a kid I had an uncle I thought smelled funny like gravy and he never hugged me but little kids don't always have a choice in who hugs them.    

[KailaS]

I teach college with students ranging from age 18 to about age 50.  We are not allowed to keep office doors closed although the doors have windows, and we never are allowed even to touch students even on the hand.  Since the Penn State debacle, rules have become stricter.  All classrooms have glass walls so those walking by can see in ( and through which students are distracted by friends passing by).  In one case the new rules protected me from an inappropriate student.  It is a shame that so much has changed in my life time.

[LucyGoose]

O/P, you sound like a good hearted teacher. What grade do you teach?

[Marienkaefer2]

The picture posted...in my district, I doubt that would be ok.  Side hugs are ok.

[Marienkaefer2]

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

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@maestra wrote:

In Safe Environment training we are taught to have an 'open ended or 1 armed hug when consoling a child, but only if the child cannot be comforted without that. Since I also teach boys I have to be very conscious of personal space-which I observe closely. With younger children you have to go with adminstrative policy. I try not to touch-only when very ,and in the presence of other adults. CYA.

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This makes good sense to me.  If I were a parent, this is a policy I would be comfortable with the institution of this policy.

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***Yes, this is the policy in my district.