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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,959
Registered: ‎05-13-2012

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

On 12/26/2014 JustJazzmom said:

My MIL God rest her soul, when we gave her a cordless phone would never use it because she thought people could 'listen in' on her conversations. She always preferred her heavy rotary dial black phone in her living room to answer the phone!!

Her son, my BIL never threw anything out--- there were 2 electric lawn mowers in their garage and one worked and the other didn't! Cribs were in the attic along with other chests of drawers!! I do not understand those who 'keep' everything. I think being a participant in the Depression made people want to hold on to things and keep fixing things themselves as they had lots of time to do things but no money to hire someone to do it.

Sounds like my mother and brother, they NEVER get rid of anything. There are stacks of TVs in the basement and old washers and dryers. Makes me nuts!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,347
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

I always give something I would like just in case they give it back to me.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,126
Registered: ‎06-20-2010

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

On 12/26/2014 brewhaha said:

I always give something I would like just in case they give it back to me.


lol

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,997
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

I'll no doubt get over it.

My sister-in-law lives for stuff like this. I have been being inordinately cheerful with her no matter what she says! After all this time, I still don't get her, but she will never know she gets to me anymore!

I will say NOTHING when I take back the Keurig, except maybe sorry it didn't work out for you.

Hyacinth

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

On 12/26/2014 ncascade said:

He may think it is too hard to learn how to use it. He is old.

Agree. My in-laws are in their 80s. We give gift cards to their favorite restaurants and they are thrilled. No new gadgets for them.

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,495
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

Some people don't care for gadgets.

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Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

On 12/26/2014 hyacinth003 said:

I know I am irrational!

I purchased a Keurig coffee maker for my 87 year old father for Christmas. He only drinks a couple cups a day, and I thought he would love it freshly brewed.

NOPE - and he doesn't want to pay for the K-Cups either. He is going to give it back to me.

My dad just keeps getting more frustrating for all of us. He was my hero all my life, and he's become a person I don't know sometimes.

I know it's irrational to feel hurt he doesn't want it, but I DO!

Anyone has have experience with this?

Hyacinth {#emotions_dlg.crying}

There's NOTHING irrational about the frustration of dealing with crochety old people. {#emotions_dlg.thumbdown}

One thing stands out here ...... has he been going through a personality change lately, or has he always been pretty much the same? If he's going through a personality change, his doctor should be informed.

If it's just he's not open to trying a new coffee maker, well, none of us bats 1000 when it comes to selecting good presents.

Old people, especially those that went through the Depression, tend to get even more conservative in old age .... I have no idea why. {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

All you need to know is .... it's him, not you.

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Registered: ‎06-25-2013

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

On 12/26/2014 hyacinth003 said:

First, my sister-in-law just couldn't wait to tell me he doesn't want it. That's the way she is.

I gave it a lot of thought, and knew it was a possibility that he wouldn't want it. My husband and daughter encouraged me to get it.

Last night, I made a point of setting it up, trying it, and leaving everything in place for him to use it.

Then he starts making fun of it all and not even listening. I just don't know how to take this new and not improved version of him!

Hyacinth {#emotions_dlg.confused1}

You answered your own question. You said you knew there was a possibility he wouldn't want it, so why are you upset with your father because it isn't something he feels he needs? Your dad is 87 and has seen lots of changes and inventions in his lifetime. My dear dad was nearly 90 when he passed earlier this year and in the last few years I noticed some changes in his personality. We talked about things but he wasn't the type of man to disclose everything he was feeling. Unless we are in their place, it's hard to understand what it is like for them. They have lost many of their friends and loved ones, they know their time is limited, they can't do some of the things they once did easily and without assistance. In many cases they can no longer drive and have lost their sense of independence. They often have to take medications and those can alter their moods. There is a plethora of things to consider, not just that your dad is being difficult and "not improved" because he wasn't excited about your gift. I am not trying to criticize you by any means because I understand how difficult it can be to have a senior parent, and it does test your patience at times, but don't take it personally. Maybe you can use the coffee maker or perhaps it will grow on him, but in my opinion it's certainly not something worth taking offense over. One day you will no longer have your dad, and you will wish for those days when he was being difficult. JMO

Respected Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

I would not have been happy to receive a Keurig either.

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: When someone doesn't want the gift you gave them

Age tends to do this to people. I see it with my mom. Even the most simple things are now frustrating her. Sometimes they can't see well enough to use newer gadgets, and sometimes they just don't want to learn. They are oftentimes more easily frustrated and intimidated by anything they don't understand, and don't you dare take them out of their comfort zone. Not all get this way, but many do.

And that filter between the brain and the mouth has often worn out!