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Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,733
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

I think it's natural to be hurt by something like this. That's human. But this too shall pass.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,295
Registered: ‎03-27-2010

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

@ROMARY   Love this!  I've done the same.  It is very freeing and allows me to enjoy my own life and take care of the tasks at hand.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,086
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

[ Edited ]

 

Her nastiness says a lot about her, nothing about you.  

 

We must not allow others to establish our own self-worth, only we do that, so don't take to heart what others say about you.  You'll end up being miserable because we can't control what others say.  So, whatever she said, look at it as if it's her problem, not yours.  Consider the source.

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Posts: 2,496
Registered: ‎01-23-2019

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

There is a state of mind you can find yourself if where you don’t want to care but you cannot help yourself from caring and letting it bug you. It’s natural, you’ll work your way out of it eventually. I’ve been there it’s an uncomfortable place. Good luck.

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Posts: 2,721
Registered: ‎07-12-2012

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

@Goldengate8361 

Written by Kirkland Babin:

"Today was bittersweet. My last day of my first year(semester) of teaching ever. My last day with my 4th graders. My last chance to leave an impact on them since unfortunately, I might not ever see them again. In order to hopefully leave an impression on them that would last a lifetime, I went to the bank last night and asked for the most crisp, without flaw, never been folded $100 bill they had. I would be using that $100 bill today in my final lesson of the semester. After our awards ceremony this morning, we returned to my classroom where I delivered my final lesson for this school year.

I took the $100 bill out of my wallet, held it up, and asked the class to tell me what it was. Obviously they knew what it was, who wouldn’t? I then asked them how much it was worth, to which they responded, “$100!” I began to explain how $100 is a lot of money, no matter how rich or poor you are in this world. I then asked them who wanted the $100. 14/14 students raised their hands before I could even finish the sentence.

The next part of my lesson required me to explain how a simple $100 bill can be related to our lives. I explained that this perfect $100 bill is like all of us when we’re born. No flaws, no imperfections, no negative thoughts being thrown at us by others. I had the students pass the $100 bill around and share something mean someone has said or done to them and how it made them feel using the $100 bill as visualization. If it was something minor, they’d fold it maybe once, if it was something more hurtful they’d maybe fold it a couple of times.

At the end, when all students were done sharing, I looked at the $100 bill(now crumpled, folded to what looked to be a million times) and held it up again. I asked my class “How much is it worth now?” They replied, “$100 still”. I asked, “Who wants it?” Again, 14/14 hands flew up. So I asked “Why? It’s all crumpled, folded, and it doesn’t even look like a $100 bill anymore.” I explained to them that no matter what anyone, or this world says about you, your abilities, your worth, your value or your flaws, you’re still worth something. The same as you’ve always been worth.

I ended my final lesson by saying this, “What you say and do to people matters. You may not see it, but I can promise you it matters. No matter how many times this $100 bill was folded or crumpled up, it’s still worth $100. It’ll still spend the exact same as to when it was brand new, with no folds or imperfections. That’s the same with all of you. You’re all still very valuable. My task for you is to find someone around you who doesn’t feel so valuable, pass on this lesson I’ve taught you, and be the difference. Be the difference you wanna see in this world. Be hope to those whose lives are far from easy.”

*By the end of it, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room."

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,758
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

@Goldengate8361  It is very hurtful when this happens.  I was in similar situation at work with another lady who was junior to me.  I thought we were good friends, she came to my home, we ate lunch, our kids knew each other, etc.

 

One day my Boss called me in and said your friend is backstabbing you to me - saying all kinds of bad things about you, etc,  he said he could not stand the way she was acting so friendly to me but at the same time complaining to me.  This had been going on, evidently, for several months.   His final words were - she wants your job word to the wise. 

 

Luckily I was very good at my job so no danger there but I was very hurt as I thought she was a friend.  I handled the situation by being very businesslike, cool, never rude but our friendship was over for me.  About 6 months later she was let go - I continued there for another 10 years when my Boss and I both retired.  It did upset me though as I did not have a clue about this.  Takes all sorts!

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,086
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

@dulwich 

 

Happened to me, too.  I was her boss in my late 30's.  She wanted my job.  I wasn't friends with her, but she was nice to my face, backstabbing me at the same time.  

 

It's rather common.  

 

It was a lesson learned to always be on the lookout for these types.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,525
Registered: ‎12-09-2018

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

blackhole99 is correct. Confront the back stabber and you can move on. Back stabbers are usually toxic and it makes for a poor work environment.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 43,467
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

[ Edited ]

I had two and I reported them to corporate.  It went straight to the deptment chain's owner and they didn't know if they had a position for two months.  Karma!Smiley Happy

 

My main thought is "get a grip"!!!Smiley Happy

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,982
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: When others are nasty, do you shake it off easily?

@Goldengate8361   Sorry this is happening to you.  I'm not the type to shake it off easily either...first I have to ruminate in my mind the why this happened which can be a form of self torture.  I know I shouldn't be doing this to myself but can't help it.  Maybe it's because I'm sensitive and can have my feelings hurt easily, maybe it's because I also don't like confrontation. 

 

After a while at some point I will finally let it go...