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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,620
Registered: ‎09-22-2010

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

I had an interesting conversation with my insurance agent recently and he brought up all the distractions newer cars have.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,052
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

Yes, indeed it's time for her to stop driving.  I know it's hard conversation to have but it's time.  She has the signs.  I think fender benders, accidents, forgetting where the keys are,  trouble parking.  Also, when you notice that person has trouble concentrating in general, losing things in the house.  Also physical things like stiff necks, bad knees.   Some seniors recognize these things themselves but I think most do not.  It's hard to accept that you've lost a step and now you have to give up some of your independance.  The conversation shouldn't be done in anger and you shouldn't acuse or shame the person.   Sit down and quietly and respectfully go over all the things that indicated that it's time for the senior to stop driving;  for is or her sake but mostly for the sake of other people.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,672
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Re: When is it time to stop driving?


@Foxxee wrote:

Depends on the person.  People age differently.  Know someone at 97 doing very well, still driving.

 

One of the problems I see as people age, they drive less because they no longer work and don't go as many places. They become rusty as with anything else that had been done frequently.  "Oh, I haven't done this for awhile.  I'm a bit "rusty" now."

 

But, of course, there are some who need to stop driving.  Removing their freedom can be devastating, so I'd evaluate each situation carefully before I did that.  

 

Getting into an accident because of a cellphone isn't necessarily an elderly thing, though. Younger folks do it too.  


I think the same way.  The more you drive, the better driver you are.   The less....You lose reflexes, etc.  Even the ability to think quickly when you get to a bad situation behind the wheel.  More and more people are driving now.  People who loved nothing more then taking a drive, hate it now.  The near miss and accidents are becoming more and more frequent.  

Super Contributor
Posts: 419
Registered: ‎01-28-2016

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

Its time !!!!!   You can get forms from DMV to help you have her stop. Its anonymous and a doctor can fill out one as well. It gives you the opportunity to advise of decreased capacity, medication, loss pf vision etc.    

 

My Dad gave up driving a few years ago. He has Parkinsons and was on the highway and noticed his "right foot wouldn't act quickly enough to brake". Very scary !!  That day he stopped and became the passenger. I am grateful he willingly did this.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

I haven’t read the entire thread and I don’t know what the “other situations” were. But if you want to take her keys away because she tried to answer her cell phone while she was driving, would you do the same to a teenager who did the same thing?

 

Maybe she just needs to put the phone in the backseat while she’s driving. 

*********************
Keepin' it real.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 744
Registered: ‎05-31-2018

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

My mother finally quit driving at about age 65.  She was legally blind for many years and nothing we said or did would make her stop.  Finally she had a very minor fender bender on a not so good side of town.  The other driver and her passengers swarmed her car and were banging on it, a crowd get forming and she took off.  When she got to a safe place she called the police, but they had already been looking for her, due to hit and run.  The police told her they were glad she left.  The car, was sold within a week and she never drove since.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

@Warrior2022 

 

Did she have any restrictions on her drivers license, like needing eyeglasses?

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Keepin' it real.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,494
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

@SilleeMeeCould not agree with you more.  I'm only 69!!! and I'm seriously thinking about giving up my license.  We moved from Nevada to Chicago in part because I hate driving and want to live somewhere I don't need a car.  Haven't taken the written test here yet but if I fail it, I wouldn't care.  Plus here in IL I think it may be required to take a "road test" at 75 which I certainly wouldn't do.  Don't miss having a car at all.

 

BTW it would be cheaper to take a cab than keep a car--LOL!!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,010
Registered: ‎08-29-2010

Re: When is it time to stop driving?


@barb40 wrote:

Mother in Law (early 80's) has had a handful of "situations" while driving...neither she nor anyone else has ever been hurt.  The most recent thing that happened while driving was that she hit the curb and got a flat tire, had to have car towed...because ...she was trying to answer her cell phone while she was driving!  My husband was so upset with her!  If makes me very concerned re: poor judgement and reaction time.  Not to mention she could have had an accident, where she and/or someone else could have gotten hurt or killed.  

 

When is it time to talk to a parent about stopping driving?

 

 

 

@barb40  I'd guess you know the answer.  

 

 

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 744
Registered: ‎05-31-2018

Re: When is it time to stop driving?

[ Edited ]

@esmerelda wrote:

@Warrior2022 

 

Did she have any restrictions on her drivers license, like needing eyeglasses?


Yes and she wore them.  She had no peripheral vision.  It was a nightmare.  She was a Type one diabetic from age 18 and NEVER took care of herself.  She remained quite abusive and narcissistic until she died at 72.