When is it time to stop driving?

barb40 · ‎03-09-2010

Mother in Law (early 80's) has had a handful of "situations" while driving...neither she nor anyone else has ever been hurt. The most recent thing that happened while driving was that she hit the curb and got a flat tire, had to have car towed...because ...she was trying to answer her cell phone while she was driving! My husband was so upset with her! If makes me very concerned re: poor judgement and reaction time. Not to mention she could have had an accident, where she and/or someone else could have gotten hurt or killed.

When is it time to talk to a parent about stopping driving?

If you have stopped driving...did you decide on your own, or did someone decide for you?

I know this is a tough topic...and Independence is a huge factor.

Thanks for any insight/suggestions you may have.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

it sounds like it is time for your mother in law to stop driving.

my mother will be 79 this year and so far she has been driving well. if i see consistent problems or hear about "near misses" then i will surely have a talk with her......and order her an uber or taxi if she needed one and i or one of my children were not available.

one of her best friends is 87 and still driving.....she actually picks her up often if they go out.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

maestra · ‎03-09-2010

DM stopped when she had a fender bender at 93 yo and the state made her take a road test, which she failed. Better the state to demand this than myself...DM is a dragon and becoming moreso w/age and dementia.

I dont know what to advise, esp. since HIPAA laws make speaking w/her MD difficult unless you are on her approved HIPAA contact list.

Sweetbay magnolia · ‎04-14-2013

Dunno. An elderly relative of mine has neuropathy and can't feel their feet. Still drives. Why? Love of independence.

I don't live near, but another relative does, and takes no action. With all the home delivery services available, I wish that option would be exercised much more. However, old habits die hard.

Cogito ergo sum

ValuSkr · ‎03-15-2014

Maybe you can ask her to turn off the phone while she is driving. I don't, but I just ignore when it goes off in the car. Some people are unable, it seems, to ignore the phone.

MalteseMomma · ‎03-09-2010

81 here and was driving very well............

at least I was, untill everyone now has to go to the Motor Vehicle,(with 3 proofs of ID) office and wait for hours and hours on long lines just to renew my licence.......

( everyone used to renew by mail) but that has changed here.........

Needless to say....I gave it up voluntarly! Just too much trouble...

Chicagosuburbangirl · ‎04-14-2018

You really have a feeling when it is time.

I took the keys away from my Dad.

Be prepared for hell, They aren't happy to have independence taken away.

That is understandable.

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

Depends on the person. People age differently. Know someone at 97 doing very well, still driving.

One of the problems I see as people age, they drive less because they no longer work and don't go as many places. They become rusty as with anything else that had been done frequently. "Oh, I haven't done this for awhile. I'm a bit "rusty" now."

But, of course, there are some who need to stop driving. Removing their freedom can be devastating, so I'd evaluate each situation carefully before I did that.

Getting into an accident because of a cellphone isn't necessarily an elderly thing, though. Younger folks do it too.