When considering what to give for a wedding gift .... - Page 3

tsavorite · ‎03-09-2010

I have an amount I aim for as I feel it is a nice amount to give....but like others have said I can't really think about all the lavish kinds of things folks are doing these days and factor that in. That is their choice and they should be planning on paying the bill if they go that route.

Now with that said I am facing a travel in state wedding coming up....we must pay for the hotel room over night which is $140.00. It will be a 4hr drive to it....so we must leave very early in the morning....just to get there (hopefully the hotel will let us in our room earlier) and have time to change and look presentable and drive to the ceremony. Wedding is in the early afternoon....if this wasn't a close relation to my husband we wouldn't be doing this at all. It is at a fair ground with hot dogs/hamburgers....donuts/smores....and so on. It is a huge PITA and then now we must also include a gift of money! Part of me feels like saying we spent it on the hotel room and the long drive gas money!

shoptilyadropagain · ‎03-19-2014

Like others have mentioned, I had never heard of taking into consideration the cost of the meal(s) when deciding on the amount of your gift until I read about it here. Frankly, it's one of the silliest things I've ever heard of.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown

maestra · ‎03-09-2010

My SIL (not dear) registered for her very high expense wedding Limoges, Buccilati, Tiffany, ad nauseum.

As a single mom trying to work 1 and .5 jobs I couldnt afford to give anything on the register. I needlepointed a lovely pillow in shades of blue (Jerusalem Star pattern) as a gift.

I could say I've never seen it displayed ,but I have only been invited 2x to their sumptuous home. The last time was almost 20 years ago.

LdyBugz · ‎03-10-2010

@q-girl I agree with you 100%. I don't think guests invited to any celebration should ever consider what the event is costing the host(s) and no one should ever expect a gift based on that either. Gifts should be given and received as a heartfelt gesture in celebration of the event or recipient.

~LdyBugz

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

We are not invited to a bunch of weddings of people we are not really friendly with as some posters seem to be. We are invited to relatives of which we don't have many and same with close friends.

I am also invited to the showers where I chose a gift from her bridal registry. For the wedding, we give a cash gift. The amount depends on how close we are to the bride and groom. But, like I said, we only are invited to close family and friends and the cash amount reflects that.

We don't go or invited to weddings of people that we really have no relationship with.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@tsavorite wrote:
I have an amount I aim for as I feel it is a nice amount to give....but like others have said I can't really think about all the lavish kinds of things folks are doing these days and factor that in. That is their choice and they should be planning on paying the bill if they go that route.

Now with that said I am facing a travel in state wedding coming up....we must pay for the hotel room over night which is $140.00. It will be a 4hr drive to it....so we must leave very early in the morning....just to get there (hopefully the hotel will let us in our room earlier) and have time to change and look presentable and drive to the ceremony. Wedding is in the early afternoon....if this wasn't a close relation to my husband we wouldn't be doing this at all. It is at a fair ground with hot dogs/hamburgers....donuts/smores....and so on. It is a huge PITA and then now we must also include a gift of money! Part of me feels like saying we spent it on the hotel room and the long drive gas money!

@tsavorite Back in the day...before my time, but I've read of it in ettiquette books...the bride's family had to foot the bill for out-of-town guests. I've said more than once...and maybe even here...if that were still the case, many weddings would be much smaller.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

sunala · ‎03-09-2010

I don't know where people got the idea that you have to pay for your "plate." That's ridiculous to me.

I don't care what people pay for their wedding. I can appreciate a fancy, elegant wedding with all the bells and whistles, but these people won't get any more from me than someone who has their wedding in a VFW hall.

It totally depends on who the people are to me. I also try to give more to people who really need it.

The last wedding we were invited to was out of state and we couldn't attend. It was in the spring of 2016. We sent a generous gift as it was a family member, although we are of different generations and are never in touch except on Facebook for an occasional word or two.

I'm just wondering if any of you have gotten a thank you card from them? I know I haven't.

I'm really sour on wedding gifts since that snub. Why are brides and grooms so lazy??? Oops sorry, that's another topic entirely.

"That's a great first pancake."
Lady Gaga, to Tony Bennett

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

I have never understood the gift thing (except for children's birthday parties and christmas). If you know of something they need for their home or baby then buy it if that is in your heart to do so. I just don't understand obligatory gifts. It is no longer a gift. It is a bill you have to pay. They might as well send the invitation to the showers, weddings, etc. with a bill attached.

Peaches McPhee · ‎04-19-2010

I wish @q-girl had asked her friend how she knows the cost of the wedding. When this topic comes up, I always wonder how the guest knows, especiallly ahead of time.

-- pro-aging --

Rochester, New York