Community Chat

[q-girl]

. . . . do you ever consider the cost of the wedding?  Once, when discussing with a group of folks what a proper wedding gift would be, one of the people said she always makes sure the gift, whether cash or consumer goods, covers the cost of her and her plus one attending the wedding. I have never taken this into consideration. I don't feel the couple who has chosen to spend big bucks on a more lavish celebration deserves a higher monetary value gift then the couple who chooses to celebrate their union with cake and coffe in the backyard.

My husband and I are as generous as we can be when giving wedding gifts, and we do give a little more to very close family and friends. That is what we base the gift on, not how much money the bride and groom spends on the wedding. Thoughts?

Hugs. . .

[deepwaterdotter]

No, I usually have no idea what the couple have spent on their wedding.  I can only go by the cost of my wedding which was the fee for the marriage license ($14).

[sunshine45]

i never follow the "wedding gift= cost of the plate per person unofficial rule." i had never even heard about that until some on here were discussing it numerous times.

i give less and i give more. it really all depends on how close i am to the couple or the parents of the bride/groom.

[depglass]

Most of us don't know the total cost of the wedding, but one can guess the meal cost at swanky country clubs, etc.  We once knew we were going to a very upscale reception, but the bride had a registry list containing items that cost $20.00 and less.  Go figure.  I think she was a "no gifts please" person but knew people wanted to give something. 

[Allegheny]

. . . . do you ever consider the cost of the wedding?

I have to reply simply, "no" for the same reason you have given.

My husband and I are as generous as we can be when giving wedding gifts, and we do give a little more to very close family and friends. That is what we base the gift on,

We follow the same standards as you and your husband.

[vermint]

@q-girl I consider what I can afford, along with my relationship to the bride/groom or their parents. Usually, I order something from their registry if they have one.

And when I get wedding invitations from family members I've never even met or spoken to...they go in the trash! I do RSVP if it's requested, but no gift.

[Suzeecat]

 I agree with the original poster 100%.  I give what I can, definitely more for close family and friends.

[Natasha218]

No, I don't do that.  That would be like buying a ticket to the wedding.  The cost of wedding is not the guests' responsibility.  I think about my relationship to the couple; I spend more on the people I know well and care about.  I consider my own financial situation.  I give what I can afford to give.  Sometimes I give a present, sometimes I give money as a gift.  I give $100 if I am attending alone and $150 if my boyfriend and I are both going, $200 if it's someone we are close to.  

[beckyb1012]

I do the gift based on the relationship I have with them and go by their gift registry.  Sometimes I can do a bit more for a dear friend than even a cousin's child if the closeness of the relationship is there. 

My last wedding recently the Bride was 25 and when she was 5 to 7 years old I picked her up once a week at school and took her to a reading tutor to help her Mom out.  I always took her for and ice cream cone at Baskin Robbins before the session.  So I bought a gift card from Baskin Robbins and gave it to her at the shower with the other gift.   We all balled like babies.  I love to come up with something  special for those who are special to me.

[VanSleepy]

We have a dollar amount we give at every wedding we attend - nieces and nephews more than friends.    But I will say that if we can't attend the wedding, we still send a gift and it's usually less.  So maybe I do follow that "rule" lol