Re: When considering what to give for a wedding gi... - Page 5

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

This "gift giving" concept was practiced way back when I was young. I got married in 1978 and back then it was what people did. Nowadays, not so much. I haven't seen this practice brought up in years.

"Pure Michigan"

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

I never thought it was my responsibility to pay for somebody's overpriced wedding. My gift is based on what I can afford together with my relationship to the couple.

I also give less if it's a second wedding when I've been to the first.I think it tacky to throw a pricey second wedding when people have already been to the first & given generous gifts 🎁.

Gardengal55 · ‎01-05-2011

@NicksmomESQ wrote:
I never thought it was my responsibility to pay for somebody's overpriced wedding. My gift is based on what I can afford together with my relationship to the couple.
I also give less if it's a second wedding when I've been to the first.I think it tacky to throw a pricey second wedding when people have already been to the first & given generous gifts 🎁.

ITA -- I base my wedding gifts on my relationship to the couple. If they are close friends, family or children of close friends I obviously give more than casual acquaintances. Over the years my husband and I have been invited to weddings of people we did not know personally-- such as for children of co-workers we knew only by name or worked in depts. other than ones we worked in and really didn't know. A couple of times we were invited to weddings of people we had just met through mutual friends. Opened the invite and for the life of us we didn't know who those people were. After asking around in our circle of friends was told --"Remember when you met so-and-so up at the lake? That's them." Oh.....

So I give from the heart. As far as 2nd weddings go we don't give as much, although of course if depends upon the people. We were actually invited to a very small 3rd wedding--we did not go but sent a beautiful card sans gift.

adamlambert · ‎10-19-2016

to those of you that say they give generous checks, how much? I only give about $60 for non family. Am I being super cheap? Most people don't stay married. 🤔🤔🤔

Mona_L · ‎08-07-2014

@Adamlambert wrote:
to those of you that say they give generous checks, how much? I only give about $60 for non family. Am I being super cheap? Most people don't stay married. 🤔🤔🤔

Sixty dollars is sufficient, whether family or friend ... and for me, since I usually attend all of the "bridal showers," add on the price of the shower gift and you have over $100 total invested in the "couple."

In two years, for just one distant cousin, I bought a gift for the engagement party, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, reveal shower, and in two weeks I am attending their child's first birthday party, and now their having another child so here I go again. And now her brother is getting married this year~so I am going thru all of this again with him!

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

thank you cards:

have never forgotten that my college roomate never sent a TY note for the wedding gift I sent her, who knows if it even got there, however I still remember that she never sent it!

word to the wise

and yes I have let it go

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Adamlambert wrote:
to those of you that say they give generous checks, how much? I only give about $60 for non family. Am I being super cheap? Most people don't stay married. 🤔🤔🤔

I think how much depends on where you live. This discussion has been had before and it seems like posters who live in say NYC give a much more generous amount than is standard where I live in Ohio.

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

@Mona_L wrote:
@Adamlambert wrote:
to those of you that say they give generous checks, how much? I only give about $60 for non family. Am I being super cheap? Most people don't stay married. 🤔🤔🤔

Sixty dollars is sufficient, whether family or friend ... and for me, since I usually attend all of the "bridal showers," add on the price of the shower gift and you have over $100 total invested in the "couple."

In two years, for just one distant cousin, I bought a gift for the engagement party, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, reveal shower, and in two weeks I am attending their child's first birthday party, and now their having another child so here I go again. And now her brother is getting married this year~so I am going thru all of this again with him!

Oh my @Mona_L you are way sweet and kind. I had one bride who invited me to her bridal shower and the wedding but her college sorority sisters gave her a "Christmas Ornament" only shower too. I declined. The Christmas shower was actually only a few weeks before Christmas but the wedding was not until April of the next year. I just could not see the point so I stayed home.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

THis comes up here often, and I always maintain that if you can't afford to have a wedding go to the courthouse and move on.

But don't expect your guests to pay for their own dinners, plus give you enough of a gift above and beyond that to make a 'profit' from the whole affair.

What I gift never takes into consideration what level of 'event' the couple or their families are throwing. It has to do with who you are to me (how close, or how much I like you) and what I can afford.