Reply
Valued Contributor
Posts: 629
Registered: ‎05-20-2010

Re: When You Lose All You have Worked For All Your Life

For years I took photos whenever we were vacationing with our children.  We traveled all over the country.  I realized at some point that the only pictures that matter are the ones with a family member in them.  So much wasted film on scenery.  I take far fewer pictures now.  The memories of the beauty of the sunsets and mountains and seashores will live instead in my brain until I die.  
That being said, I had to discard and donate so much when my mother passed.  Things that she kept but had no meaning to me.  It's a hard job to have to do, but it certainly reminded me that "stuff" doesn't matter much.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,472
Registered: ‎09-08-2010

Re: When You Lose All You have Worked For All Your Life

It's such a sad time in a person's life, to have to go through a deceased loved ones possessions and decide what gets donated, and what is kept. I have been through that as well. Several years ago my brother died suddenly of a heart attack. My mother being elderly was in no position to help clean out his apartment. My sister and I, and our husbands went to the task. It was extremely disheartening and sad to see and feel that that person is no longer there, and what is left behind is their treasured memories. Two months later my mother died, and again my sister and I were faced with the same task. She handled it very differently. She wanted to toss everything in a bin, and take virtually nothing.  I, on the other hand, wanted to keep as much as I could. We are very different. I ended up telling her to go home, I would handle everything. I stayed until the wee hours of the night by myself, sitting on the floor, going through old pictures, and what was left of my mothers life.  I donated as much as I could, and took the rest home. I just couldn't see throwing it in a bin. I still have her memories here with me. I know someday someone will be tasked at cleaning out my things. And I hope they find at least one treasured memory that they keep instead of throwing things in a bin.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,916
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: When You Lose All You have Worked For All Your Life

I have not experienced that myself.  There was once an antique store in town that I like browsing in.  A few times I bought something unique.  The owner once said his shop was full of memories that no one wanted.  I thought it was poetic at the time but I didn't understand it 20 years later when I was 50ish.  The things we save because they have sentimental value for us, often don't mean anything to others.  We leave our children things that have value and family heirlooms but the things that have no monetary value and hold no special memories for them are just clutter that will be cleaned out.  Take what means something to you and let the rest go.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,182
Registered: ‎07-18-2010

Re: When You Lose All You have Worked For All Your Life

My dad passed away in 2009, and then my mom followed 4 yrs later.  It was up to me at that point to take care of the house and all its contents.  Suffice it to say, I couldn't do it.  It just felt so overwhelming.  The house sat, as is, for a couple of years.

 

I finally bit the bullet and hired a company to hold an estate sale.  I set aside those things that I absolutely could not part with and let them put price tags on everything else.  I still own the house ( my parents bought it in 1963) and had it remodeled.  I have a gardener who maintains the yards.  I might eventually move in sometime in the future.  My mom loved that little house.

 

Some years passed, and while checking on things one day, the next door neighbor invited me in to her home.  It was during the holidays, and lo and behold, her dining room table was set with my mom's Christmas dishes.  She, also, had the piano that sat in our living room from the time I was in grade school.  My heart sank, but then I felt such joy seeing those things again!

 

Disposing of a loved one's possessions is easier said than done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: When You Lose All You have Worked For All Your Life

@wismiss 

 

I do understand, and feel for you.

 

The pain and sadness you are experiencing deepens the truism, ‘You don’t stop loving someone just because they die’.

 

Best Wishes, to you and all who have experienced this.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,757
Registered: ‎09-06-2014

Re: When You Lose All You have Worked For All Your Life

I'm so sorry for your loss.  A few years ago the thought came to me that sometimes a person's life boils down to one big Estate Sale.  Heart

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,094
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: When You Lose All You have Worked For All Your Life

[ Edited ]

You don't loose memories.You tuck them away into the deep/dearest corners of your heart forever.

I'm  so sorry for your loss.