What would you do? - Page 4

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@Stevie Nix wrote:
Are you calling her or is she calling you? If you're calling her just say "I can hear your busy, call me back when you have free time." In fact, say the same thing if she's calling you.

@Stevie Nix

Believe it or not, if I call her I’ll usually text to ask if she is busy or is it ok to call. She does that too, but it doesn’t seem to click why I am doing that.

When she calls from her car, I immediately ask her to call me when she gets home. That far I cannot go.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@Trinity11 wrote:
@LilacTree, I would suggest you do Facetime with her. That way she has to communicate with you without getting up and walking around.

If you can't do that then I would be upfront with her and outright tell her that you cannot hear her and express your frustration. If she is really interested in having conversations with you, she will change her ways. Frankly, I think she is rude walking around doing other things while you are talking to her. But that's just me..

@Trinity11

Really, you are right, Trinity. It is rude and I do have to be more upfront with her, or I am not controlling the situation.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

ahoymate · ‎05-30-2010

Trinity11, yes, rude, but we teach people how to treat/interact with us.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@LilacTree wrote:
@Trinity11 wrote:
@LilacTree, I would suggest you do Facetime with her. That way she has to communicate with you without getting up and walking around.

If you can't do that then I would be upfront with her and outright tell her that you cannot hear her and express your frustration. If she is really interested in having conversations with you, she will change her ways. Frankly, I think she is rude walking around doing other things while you are talking to her. But that's just me..
@Trinity11
Really, you are right, Trinity. It is rude and I do have to be more upfront with her, or I am not controlling the situation.

Many years ago my husband had a friend who was married and we used to go to their apartment. His wife used to do her laundry while we were there and it was rude and really not the time to be doing her laundry. Anyone multi-tasking while visiting with me isn't my idea of anyone that I would not label a "bore."

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

i dont know what her health situation is, but maybe there is something preventing her from holding onto the phone for long periods of time? shoulder/hand/arm/neck issues that might bother her while holding a phone.

maybe try calling her at a later time during the evening? she may be sitting down or laying down at the point and less busy then the times you call her.

also, you may want to turn the volume of your phone higher while talking with her. that my help you hear her a bit more clearly.

i also like the idea of facetime or whatsapp or another app on your phone or tablet to talk "face to face."

definitely dont find this to be any reason to throw away a friendship, especially a rediscovered one.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@ahoymate wrote:
Trinity11, yes, rude, but we teach people how to treat/interact with us.

Not always. Some people are just bores and treat everyone the same way. They are so used to being that way that they are simply dense....

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

My daughter does the same thing and it drives me nuts. It sounds like she is speaking into a barrel when she goes to speaker phone and sometimes her voice cuts in and out completely. I finally told her to call me back when she can talk to me without putting me on speaker.
The last straw was terrible white noise in the background...she told me she was taking a shower when she called me!

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

You can still move around without putting your phone on speaker. You just have to hold it.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@lovesrecess wrote:
My daughter does the same thing and it drives me nuts. It sounds like she is speaking into a barrel when she goes to speaker phone and sometimes her voice cuts in and out completely. I finally told her to call me back when she can talk to me without putting me on speaker.
The last straw was terrible white noise in the background...she told me she was taking a shower when she called me!

@lovesrecess

OMG, isn’t that dangerous?

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@LilacTree wrote:
@software
No, it’s not worth losing a friend, especially since we were estranged for a couple of years and several months ago she sent me a friend request on FB and we have both been so glad to be reunited. She is the lifelong friend (70+ years) I have mentioned before. She had an almost lethal stroke in August 2017, but seems to have fully recuperated since then. So it’s complicated, as they say. This constantly having to move around could be related to that.

@LilacTree...is this the friend you were in the car with and she referenced someone offensively? I remember how difficult it was for you to walk away from such a long friendship. Life can certainly be full of twists and turns.