What is your opinion on this?

Shorty2U · ‎03-09-2010

I have a friend. She moved in with her boyfriend 1 year ago. Hes very nice, has a good job, treats her like royalty, yada yada. She was asked to marry him.

She will not marry him because she is waiting for her ex husband to die so she can collect his 250,000 insurance policy! This is so disgusting to me. And I told her it is. I was in shock too because she is a very giving person and has given to people when she did not have much herself. Shes always helping others and was never into money.

She was not offended by my comment, but said this is what she chooses because she deserves it, that her ex husband put her through H so she is waiting for the money. She said why get remarried when she can have it all (the boyfriend AND the money at some point).

She says this because her ex is an alcoholic and she doesn't expect him to live long. WELL we all know NO ONE can predict the future! SHE could die first. I said well I pray your boyfriend doesn't give up on you because youre waiting.

I on the other hand could have waited for my ex husbands Social Security etc. I didn't even think twice when my husband now asked me to marry him, and I decided to say YES and married my husband 7 years ago, because my husband means more to me than any amount of money!

I don't understand my friend. To add, she is NOT in good health and if she were to marry the boyfriend she would have wonderful health insurance. Not only that HE loves her with ALL his heart.

I guess its none of my business but she kind of made it my business by telling me her choice. I just hope she isn't making a mistake. Her boyfriend is a wonderful guy.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles

ennui1 · ‎06-23-2013

I think if she's the beneficiary, it doesn't matter if she's married or not.

How does she know the ex didn't change the beneficiary on the policy?

sammyjobeagle · ‎07-17-2011

It's soo sad to see people blinded with soo much bitterness in their lives looking for revenge instead of forgiving and being thankful for their current lives.

bikerbabe · ‎03-09-2010

Sick logic. If her boyfriend is ""true"" he deserves better.

Does she even know for a fact that she is still the beneficiary? She might be waiting for nothing.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

It might not be your way, but there are many folks for whom marriage is not the primary goal. I do understand your friend's choice. I'm not saying I'd make the same one, but if she and her boyfriend are content to be SO's as opposed to spouses, I say why not...?

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Silver Lining · ‎04-16-2010

As long as she is the beneficiary named on the policy she will receive the money when her ex-husband dies. Sounds like she has it mixed up with something like drawing on her ex's Social Security or being the beneficiary of a person's estate. Either way, neither of those matters. She will get the insurance money if the ex named her as beneficiary and never changed it. Her marital status doesn't matter.

guatmum · ‎03-11-2010

I'm not sure how old your friend is but maybe she is using the insurance as an excuse. Maybe she loves the relationship but really has no interest in marrying again. Statistics now show that most women over 45 who become single prefer to stay that way regardless of how they became single. Men are the opposite. My friends and I have a joke: if you want to find a man to marry, sit on the steps of divorce court and wait for the men to come out. You'll be sure to have someone ask you - LOL!

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

She might not even be the beneficiary any more, and if she is, why would it matter if she is remarried unless there's something separate about that in the will.

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

It wasn't mentioned, but she may have taken the policy out on him herself. A relative of mine was advised to do this when she got divorced. She didn't, but as it happens, the ex died only a couple of years later, unexpectedly. She could have used the money; however in the long run everything worked out for her in other ways.

It sounds like your friend has everything to gain by marrying this guy. However, she may feel that this money would make her feel independent. Maybe she doesn't want to be totally dependent on another guy in her life. She may view that money as compensation for the tough times she endured.

It's very easy to.judge someone in a situation like this.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

On 1/4/2014 guatmum said:
I'm not sure how old your friend is but maybe she is using the insurance as an excuse. Maybe she loves the relationship but really has no interest in marrying again. Statistics now show that most women over 45 who become single prefer to stay that way regardless of how they became single. Men are the opposite. My friends and I have a joke: if you want to find a man to marry, sit on the steps of divorce court and wait for the men to come out. You'll be sure to have someone ask you - LOL!

I don't know if this is true or not but I have always heard it's the man who was happily married who gets married again quickly. So maybe you and your friends should hang out at the mortuary