What is your meaning of kindness? - Page 5

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@QVCkitty1 wrote:
You can parse this whole subject to death, but to me I will defend a poster who I feel is being ganged up on, to the point that the original subject is ignored, so that everyone can make their point. This isn't freaking middle school or the school yard, and there is nothing wrong with just agreeing to disagree.

I think we've ALL had this happen - we may be perfectly okay with agreeing to disagree, but the other poster is not. The other poster will carry on and on, crowing about being "right" - they MUST be right/have won after all if their "opponent" (?) goes silent. Yes, it's galling to ST*U, but you can hope that the old-timers see what's going on. I try hard to keep the b-slapping to few engagements, and can only hope people notice who b's on and who stops out of consideration for everyone else.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@MacDUFF wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:
...some people think that using a period at the end of a sentence can signal that the sender is either insincere or aggressive. I always thought it was just good grammar, but it turns out it sets a tone that I did not intend and that can offend some people or make them think I'm angry with them.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/12/20/459485722/you-should-watch-the-way-you-punc...

@ChynnaBlue

Hi Chynna...long time no chat! This is an example of the extremes some people will take to be offended. It IS good grammar to end a sentence with a period. To say so, not to mention do it, is in no way intended to be mean. If someone thinks you're angry with them or insincere or aggressive because of it, that is all kinds of wrong on their part. Is it unkind of me to say that I will be ending my sentences with a period and I won't care a whit if someone redefines that action as [fill in the blank]? This is just plain bizarre, and that's the nicest thing I can think to say!

Hi, @MacDUFF! I'm with you on this. It seems to be a millennial thing and limited to texting or messaging apps, like Facebook Messenger or Kik. the same people who say this DO use periods in emails and other documents, thank goodness! I had no idea it was a thing until I read some articles about it and started asking around.

When I consider just text and messages, I can understand where they're coming from. Here, you need a period to indicate the end of a sentence. In a text, the Send button functions as the indicator that the thought or sentence is complete and the period becomes redundant and seems overly formal. It's weird, but I can at least understand the reasoning behind it now, even if I may never get used to it myself.

I have never heard this. In all seriousness, it just makes me SMH, laugh, and make no plans to stop using periods.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@mstyrion 1 wrote:
@Moonchilde wrote:
@mstyrion 1 wrote:
Disagreement can be kind or unkind. It all depends on the words and tone used.

I think you know the difference.

I don't think it needs to be either one. Why should all disagreement be "kind" - and whose definition, anyway?

One can simply disagree or have an opinion that is NEITHER kind nor unkind. The problem on these forums is that to some, if it isn't recognizably, OTT ooey gooey fluffy bunny kind it then MUST be unkind. I've seen people accuse others of being mean, rude, etc. when clearly *they did not understand what was said.* so yeah, then we have "I don't know what that person said to me and have no clue what it means, but since I don't understand it I'll bet it's mean! Yeah! All righty then, I'll respond as if they're an evil meanie!"

I don't think any of US really use kind or unkind much, it's the moderators word - a more neutral word than what we all know people are actually being. The behavior may be unkind, but it's much more than that.
_______________________________________________________________
I don't necessarily agree with everything you said, but I find your outlook to be interesting
(kind)

Why do you always have to be a contrarian? Your post is stupid and makes no sense
(unkind)

Yes, "kind" is a subjective word but I think we can all tell the difference when we see it.
I have seen clearly unkind responses here from time to time.
I used the word kind because the OP did.

I wasn't picking at you about the semantics, @mstyrion 1 - sorry if you thought I was. My point was that an amazing number of people would find your first (kind) example not all that kind. The frustration is that for some people, anything other than unadulterated cotton candy responses are not understood, and assumed to be negative. You or I could say "how could anyone think that..." but people do.

If I said "I disagree. I don't think A works with B. I think A works better with C and B needs to go back to the drawing board. I find it fugly." (perhaps the other person had said they liked B).

I have disagreed, without personal rudeness and without "meanness." I simply stated my opinion, in no way relating directly to the other person. Should I NOT say I didn't like the look of B? Why - because someone, somewhere might take offence to it? Seriously, I'm not responsible for the emotional well-being of all other posters.

I said I didn't like something someone else said they do like. I didn't say "anyone who like B must be [insert derogatory names and phrases here]", I didn't say "you have no taste", or "you can't be serious!" But people WILL be insulted, and come back with middle school "so's yer old man!" equivalents.

I haven't got time for that. I wouldn't make time for that.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

A60_Chevy · ‎06-06-2016

Today I went to the grocery store to buy some straws for my new friend that I have been taking care of for several weeks now.

I was behind an elderly gentleman, He seemed a little confused, had all healthy items in his cart meaning no junk foods. He asked the teller to give him a total at a certain point of before continuing because he was not sure if he had enough.

I know I should not have been listening but he looked ill and I felt concerned. Here I go again.. I told the teller after he spoke to this man, "He will not be short, I will pay the difference," They both looked at so, I said again.. "He will not be short and I will pay the difference."

Well I gave $72.00 to the teller and received $2.00 and some change. I looked at him and asked if there was pennies in the change, he said yes. I said leave that for someone that may need it.

There was another man behind me.. He said that was a wonderful thing that you jhave just done, here is a strawberry mint. I thought that was so nice. I helped the man to his car I found out He had been hospitalized and was getting food so he would not have to leave his home for awhile. He was told not to do anything but stay home. I also gave him some money buy reaching in the car and turning away. He could not catch up with me because of his health. I was not going to give him the opportunity to turn away from help. There are many good people in our world. That is why the USA is so great.

I have a heart for those in need before I know there is a need.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

I think unkind is knowingly saying or doing something to hurt someone.

I know people who pretend that they don't know what they are doing or saying is hurtful -- but believe me --- they know!!!!

Other times, things are said and done and it hurts people unintentionally. This is not being unkind. Everyone has a different way of expressing their opinions or how they feel about things and how they state things so it might get taken the wrong way.

I think it's unkind if you hurt someone and after it is brought to your attention, you do not apologize or try and make it right.

Being kind is treating people the way you feel you want to be treated.

If you have a beef with someone, you can voice it in an appropriate manner and still be kind.

I don't think just because you have a different opinion that this makes you unkind. If you get nasty in your attitude, tone of voice, etc., then you can be unkind.

Agree to disagree is a good motto. But be respectful at all times. This is kind.

Courtesy is kindness. Thoughtfulness is kindness. Love is kindness. No matter what form it takes or who it is directed at.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@nun ya wrote:
It's all in the delivery.

You can say " I read this, you may want to look it up"

instead of...

"You uneducated fool, google it, maybe you can comprehend"

@nun ya Add to that "I'm surprised you didn't know that". Really? Like the poster who says it knows all. And is the poster really "surprised"? ROTFL

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

While kindness is showing mercy and love, that does not mean that we are always merciful and always loving. We can be many things. One moment we can be grumpy...... another moment we can be cheerful. A kind person is not kind 100% of the time, just as a cheerful person is not cheerful 100% of the time.

If you got mad and slammed a door on your husband...... that does not mean you are an unkind person? At that moment you are an angry person. If someone came up and slapped my child in the face, I would not react kindly. In fact, I might slap them back! Would that be mean???? No, I don't think so. There are people who are more kind by nature. There are people who have to work more at it. Then there are people who just don't give a rip! Those....I try to avoid. They are the ones that think they are fine just the way they are and will never seek to be any different than they are right now. In their minds....."this is as kind as it gets". If you ask me, everyone of us has room for improvement......... especially in the area of kindness.

SunValley · ‎04-19-2010

@A60_Chevy yes that was a very kind response to someone in need. But you never know when an act of intended kindness will be taken as interference. I was behind a mid-60's lady at a big box store yesterday. She was trying to use her chip bank card and could not figure out where the card slot was.She repeatedly stabbed the card at the metal post supporting the card reader. She did this about 12 times, all the while muttering that she couldn't see well. The clerk was of no help, just standing with their arms crossed. After a few more jabs at the metal post, I said, "Maybe I can help" and pointed out the card slot. If looks could kill, I would be dead. She batted my hand away and kept shaking her card at me and glaring like I was the worst human ever. I never touched her or her card. At least she knew where to insert the card, and finally completed her transaction. She didn't think I was being kind and interpreted my actions as interference.

Same store--different day--I was behind an elderly mother and her daughter that didn't have the money to pay for their basket of mostly junk food. In fact, none of their cards worked and the daughter finally paid cash for just the dish washing soap. I told the clerk I felt bad but was hesitant because it seemed they were being a bit dramatic, and she said don't feel bad, it was a regular occurrence with this duo and they were hoping people behind them would pay. Many did, so they just kept up the scam.

So guess one just keeps trying to be kind, and if rebuffed or played, just shake it off and focus on the goodness in people. As for this forum, I guess the mods define and delete as they each interpret the standards, just like posters make their own judgements on what is or is not kind.

A60_Chevy · ‎06-06-2016

Thank you for sharing,

I want to continue to improve on a daily basis. Everything that I do for someone I give thanks for being in the right place at the right time. If the person is a user I believe it will come back on them some way. \

I wish I could help someone with housing from Baton R. Louisiana but I am already taking care of abuse lady.

I am in no way perfect, I say from time to time a bad word or two then I ask for forgiveness. I am ashamed that I allowed someone to push me to a point where filth comes out. Check myself yes I do but be kind and help others in need always. It makes my day fills my with joy.