Community Chat

[colliegirls]

I have come to realize that many people choose to live in La-La land. It's easy there.

[Lynneuk]

Some people consider marriage and an intact family unit more important than ""love"" or personal happiness. Think of the old days when people stayed married no matter what. Your friend is probably one of those people and was convinced that marriage was the best thing that could happen for her daughter and grandchild. Now she has to face reality and she can't bear it.

[Snowpuppy]

On 3/1/2015 Lynneuk said: Some people consider marriage and an intact family unit more important than "love" or personal happiness. Think of the old days when people stayed married no matter what. Your friend is probably one of those people and was convinced that marriage was the best thing that could happen for her daughter and grandchild. Now she has to face reality and she can't bear it.

My best girlfriend is like this and it drives me nuts. My friend believes as long as a girl "has a man".....well, any man it's better than heaven forbid, being alone.

The sad truth is she can see nothing for her own daughters other than marriage to someone who will manage their life for them. No career, no education, nothing.

Add to that a lot of women who are midlife and older are afraid their grown daughters will return home with their grands.

[Nancy Drew]

A lot of people don't get the whole ""I can do bad by myself"" concept. Hopefully this young women will get happy on her own and then she will pick the guy who makes her life better.

[Cakers1]

The granddaughter is being pulled back and forth and certainly not learning about healthy relationships. That's the tragedy in this whole story.

[Puzzle Piece]

Situations like your friends have been around for ages. If the guy said he wasn't in love with her, he was being truthful. So many young girls in the past got pregnant and then married the guy when they were both just young teens. It was a mockery of marriage because they all ended in divorce because he was interested in others (the marriages I knew of ). He used the girl for s*x.

You are okay not to feel sympathy towards the situation but remember, you are also her friend.

[SleeplessinSD]

Yes, she encouraged the whole thing. In the "hopes" that they would find happiness and provide a loving home for her grand daughter. there's never any guarantees in life. Everyone involved gave it their best shot and it wasn't meant to be. Divorce is so painful, especially when there are children involved. Im sure your friend is being emotional because she's worried for the future of her daughter and GD.....I know I'd feel the same. Please try not to judge; I know it's hard. She really needs a friend right now.

[raven-blackbird]

On 3/1/2015 Helen47 said: Yes, she encouraged the whole thing. In the "hopes" that they would find happiness and provide a loving home for her grand daughter. there's never any guarantees in life. Everyone involved gave it their best shot and it wasn't meant to be. Divorce is so painful, especially when there are children involved. Im sure your friend is being emotional because she's worried for the future of her daughter and GD.....I know I'd feel the same. Please try not to judge; I know it's hard. She really needs a friend right now.

you are soooooooo right Helen...........no mom wants their child to experience hurt.....and divorce is VERY painful, even if you are the one who wants to leave.........that breaks a mom's heart and she feels the pain.....BUT NOW ADD A GD.........then it's even worse.......she hung all her dreams on a chance of a hope.......and it didn't work out......................................raven

[ROMARY]

Sometimes young women, in desperation, get themselves into a 'predicament' on purpose. Just to keep their wandering BFs in their lives. Instead of moving on, finding a decent husband. Sad, but true. Let's all wish and hope that the woman finds a nicer, more responsible, loyal husband (if that's what she wants) the next time around.

[stevieb]

Sadly, for some people, being married trumps everything... Good, bad or indifferent, married is married... Your friend appears to be of that ilk. There's no changing her. All you can do is offer whatever support you feel able to offer and perhaps subtly point out the upside of this change if there ever appears to be a point at which you think she might be able to hear it...