What is the Hardest Lesson You Have Had to Learn i... - Page 7

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Brinklii wrote:

@Anita Hug ... I know what you mean. For me, I wonder who or what I would have become had I had a childhood minus all the trauma I went through. I'm glad that you no longer care what people think of you. That is a hard lesson to learn.

Brinklii!! Oh my goodness - I cannot tell you how many times I have wondered who I would have become. *sigh* Of course, I don't dwell on it, but it's worth thinking about sometimes.

I used to be very smart (I can only say that now because I'm not anymore) and I think I would have had a lot more potential.

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@libbyannE wrote:
I agree about going with one's gut, but, luckily, I was born with that ability and knowledge. I take no credit for it because it's just the way I am. However, despite that inner guidance, I must be slow because found it really hard to learn that one can go on with one's life and even find joy in SPITE of serious problems. Hard to explain, but when I was very young I would sort of feel I had to stop my life until everything was FIXED and back to normal. Fate or spirit conspired to put things in my path that helped me slowly learn that in life, things change, nit everything can be fixed, and that the notion if what's "normal" continually changes. Weathering my patents' divorce in my teens, the stunning sudden death of my hero stepdad in a car accident or being there for my mother's subsequent brain tumor surgery and her many other surgeries and health problems or facing my own chronic health issue, I learned to keep living and to experience joy amid the stuff that life throws at all of us. Yes, that's life, and my experience is normal, but it was something I knew I needed to consciously work at. Now, my dad and stepmother both have dementia, and I am involved in their lives daily, but I find that the lessons of the past decades are paying off and I can work to help them without needing to focus on how I am coping. There is a lot of joy along the way, still. And unexpected blessings. I never really got to know my stepsister because our parents married when we were both in college, and we have never even lived in the same state. But, in working together to help our folks at this difficult time, she and I have become true friends and sisters! We laugh, we cry, we share.... I have thanked God for yet another example that even in tough times, joy might be just around the corner. Who knew I would have a new sister at this age!

@libbyannE ... Sounds like you have learned a whole lot of valuable lessons due to what life has tossed at you. It's like, "When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade." It's wonderful that you and your step-sister have become friends and sisters. What a blessing!

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

libbyannE · ‎10-27-2010

@Brinklii wrote:
@libbyannE wrote:
I agree about going with one's gut, but, luckily, I was born with that ability and knowledge. I take no credit for it because it's just the way I am. However, despite that inner guidance, I must be slow because found it really hard to learn that one can go on with one's life and even find joy in SPITE of serious problems. Hard to explain, but when I was very young I would sort of feel I had to stop my life until everything was FIXED and back to normal. Fate or spirit conspired to put things in my path that helped me slowly learn that in life, things change, nit everything can be fixed, and that the notion if what's "normal" continually changes. Weathering my patents' divorce in my teens, the stunning sudden death of my hero stepdad in a car accident or being there for my mother's subsequent brain tumor surgery and her many other surgeries and health problems or facing my own chronic health issue, I learned to keep living and to experience joy amid the stuff that life throws at all of us. Yes, that's life, and my experience is normal, but it was something I knew I needed to consciously work at. Now, my dad and stepmother both have dementia, and I am involved in their lives daily, but I find that the lessons of the past decades are paying off and I can work to help them without needing to focus on how I am coping. There is a lot of joy along the way, still. And unexpected blessings. I never really got to know my stepsister because our parents married when we were both in college, and we have never even lived in the same state. But, in working together to help our folks at this difficult time, she and I have become true friends and sisters! We laugh, we cry, we share.... I have thanked God for yet another example that even in tough times, joy might be just around the corner. Who knew I would have a new sister at this age!
@libbyannE ... Sounds like you have learned a whole lot of valuable lessons due to what life has tossed at you. It's like, "When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade." It's wonderful that you and your step-sister have become friends and sisters. What a blessing!

Thank you so much. Life's good!!!

mosky · ‎07-18-2010

That everything has a price

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

This thread is awesome!!! So many wise words. I wish we could bind this thread and sell it as a book!!!

One of the things I've learned is that you're ultimately responsible for your own happiness.

kelsey17 · ‎04-10-2012

@Brinklii wrote:
OK...I know we have all learned lots of lessons, but what has been the most difficult lesson for you to get out of life?

Mine has been that it is OK to be average. I have always been a perfectionist...which can drive you crazy...as well as other people. I know that I became this way because of my mother's criticisms while I was growing up. So, I have always been an over-achiever, a perfectionist, etc. It has taken me years to learn that it is perfectly acceptable to be average...and, in fact, it is nice to be in the middle of the pack. I don't like being the center of attention anyway. I still struggle at times with being a perfectionist, but it is easier now that I am retired.

Care to share? What's been the hardest lesson for you to learn?

My mother always said "LIFE ISN'T FAIR"......and i guess that is the hardest lesson i have had to learn in life.....

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

Get the facts.

Stand up for yourself.

Don't allow people to take advantage of you.

If someone does not bring joy in your life, get rid of them.

Life can change in a moment.

BalletBabe · ‎03-05-2011

Don't argue over stupid things---Life is too short!

catwhisperer · ‎07-11-2010

@Ms X wrote:
@catwhisperer wrote:
@Ms X....very well stated.
Thank you, Catwhisperer. Without going into detail, when I was younger I was extremely stubborn and felt a thirst for justice in the face of mistreatment. I think many people feel this way. When you are in the situation, I believe those traits help you to survive rather than knuckle under. It helps you to psychologically separate yourself from the situation. However, most people won't admit they were wrong even if objectively there's no question about it.

Therefore, once you have distance from the situation you need to realize that what happened before can never be made right. The strengths that helped you endure the bad situation work against you once you are out of it. Only by accepting that there is no justice and it cannot be made right will you find peace. It really took me a long time to realize that. Maybe if I'd been seeing a shrink, the progress would have been much faster!

@Ms X...you sound like a very intelligent lady. I was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally by my mother as a child/teen. Never got an apology, even when she was in her 80's. It's something you never forget, but life goes on and you just deal with it.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.