Community Chat

[sparklestar]

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@Brinklii wrote:

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@sparklestar wrote:

Life is one big lesson, but you never learn that until it's too late.

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@sparklestar ...Isn't that the truth? No matter how old we are, we never stop learning.

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Yes ma'am.

[Yardlie]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

I am still working on that lesson.....to forgive those who have hurt me....I tend to hold grudges forever.

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@SeaMaiden ... I know what you are saying. I hold a grudge against the person who hurt me so badly as a child. There is no excuse for hurting children. Other than that, I tend to forgive easily. However, I won't be used. If someone continues to hurt or use me, then it's time to cut that "friend" out of my life. 

[Ms X]

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@catwhisperer wrote:

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@Ms X wrote:

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@catwhisperer wrote:

@Ms X....very well stated.

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Thank you, Catwhisperer.  Without going into detail, when I was younger I was extremely stubborn and felt a thirst for justice in the face of mistreatment.  I think many people feel this way.  When you are in the situation, I believe those traits help you to survive rather than knuckle under.  It helps you to psychologically separate yourself from the situation.  However, most people won't admit they were wrong even if objectively there's no question about it. 

Therefore, once you have distance from the situation you need to realize that what happened before can never be made right.  The strengths that helped you endure the bad situation work against you once you are out of it.  Only by accepting that there is no justice and it cannot be made right will you find peace.  It really took me a long time to realize that.  Maybe if I'd been seeing a shrink, the progress would have been much faster!

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@Ms X...you sound like a very intelligent lady. I was abused physically, verbally, and emotionally by my mother as a child/teen. Never got an apology, even when she was in her 80's. It's something you never forget, but life goes on and you just deal with it. 

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@catwhisperer  I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  There's no excuse when an adult mistreats a child. They are responsible for directing the relationship and teaching the child.  It's all on them.  Maybe it was too painful for your mother to admit what she did, or maybe she didn't see what she did clearly  Just remember that it wasn't your fault!

[Josetta47]

No matter how much you love your children, no matter how hard you try to persuade them that they are making a mistake, sometimes they will still do it.  This is one of the most difficult challenges of my life.  I always want children to be happy and not have to make the same mistakes I did.  Sad!

[Yardlie]

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@Julie928 wrote:

Mine would be to let other's live their lives as they wish (no matter how messed up their situation may be).  I cannot control others (and have no desire to) but trust me when I say I could start another thread about the garbage people put up with and the amount of times I've asked myself "Why???"  It makes me sad to see people close to me putting up with emotional abuse but I've learned to keep my mouth shut ~ when I try to understand the situation I get excuses about why so-and-so is the way they are.  The resentment that should be on the abuser is then on me.  So now it is live and let live, tough as it may be...  :-)

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@Julie928 ... I know. Why people put up with the things they do is beyond me. Basically, I think some people are just so insecure that they just hang on to what they know rather than break off and start a new life. It's upsetting to see that. One important lesson I learned is that the only person you can control is yourself. 

[Yardlie]

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@beckyb1012 wrote:

Still struggling but getting better with throwing the schedules and rules out the window.

Trying so hard to not force myself to go grocery shopping this day, laundry on that day, cleaning, ect.......   days.  Every day all week long, year after year, decade after decade.

When I realized they were my rules and my schedules it was like a light went off in my head.  Still hard to let it go if I do not want to do something or if I just do not feel well.  In the past I have had major migraines and will still force myself to clean my toilets and vacuum since it is Friday afternoon. 

"It is ok to let the little stuff go and enjoy myself it is all over way too soon."

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@beckyb1012 ... I hear what you are saying. Routines are great, but it's good to be flexible too. You have power over your mind. Don't let your routines control you. Here is a favorite little blurb of mine. I don't know who authored it:

Life is Short; Break the Rules; Forgive Quickly; Kiss Slowly; Love Truly; Laugh Uncontrollably; and Never Regret anything that made you smile.

[catwhisperer]

@Ms X....I know it wasn't my fault, but unfortunately, throughout my life, I have dealt with anger and rejection issues. It is what it is. 

[Yardlie]

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@SaRina wrote:

Survivor's guilt.....I'm still working on it.

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@SaRina ... That's a tough one. I think time will heal the guilt, but I haven't experienced it.  (((Hugss))) to you. Take care of yourself.

[Angeleyes55]

Patience has been one for me as I tend to get bored with whatever does not move fast enough for me. My pets help me in this area as they love me so much even when I am not in the best of moods, they come and lay by me or look me in the eye as if to say: This To Will Pass and I am right here loving you all the way through it.

[Yardlie]

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@seaBreeze wrote:

People will disappoint you .... but God never fails.

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@seaBreeze ... Isn't that the truth? It takes some people a long time to come to that revelation.