@FranandZoe wrote:
Or rather lack of?
My "best friend's" daughter is getting married the end of October. She sent her invitations out Monday. My husband has had a lot of health problems in the last year - broken bones and surgeries. He broke his arm 3 weeks ago. Was in the hospital 10 days due to this and cellulitis.
He broke his shoulder last September - had four surgeries with the last one in January. He has never really recovered.
He broke his pelvis last August. He has another health issue that causes very low sodium and seizures. He falls a lot due to balance problems.
Anyway I have been telling my friend for months that he may not be able to attend.
He's weak and has a hard time getting around. He's lost abot 40 pounds in the last year due to so many hospitalizatios.
He said recentlly though that he had every intention of going.
I mentioned this to my friend yesterday and she advised that they did not invite him. They sent the invitation to me only. I was floored. She said they had to cut down on the invitations due to Covid numbers increasing.
I told hubby about this and he was even ore shocked - and angry - than I was.
Does one ever send a wedding invitation to a married person without including their spouse? Let alone a "best friend" of 50 years? And couldn't she have mentioned it to me beforehand? Well I guess she did - before I received the invitation.
But isn't this rather rude to not include him? What harm would there have been? I would certainly have notified them in time if he was not going to attend. Beyond this who wants to attend a wedding alone?
So my solution is to just not attend. But should I tell them why or just decline?
And what's your opinion of all this?
@FranandZoe I had to paragraph your post in order to get the sequence of this story.
First, you husband has had some serious health issues and I'm sure all of this has not been easy on you, too. I am sorry the both of you are dealing with these issues.
You did say you have been telling your friend for months about all of his conditions/hospitalizations/falling down, etc.
Here is my take on this situation, fwiw.
First, the invitation should have been addressed to both in better times.
However, whether or not your husband was intending to go cannot be certain considering his condition.
I think your friend is not insensitive to his health; I think she made a error in manners but then again if they are limited to the number of attendees due to Covid then that is understandable.
Your friend wanted to share the day with you and your husband but given all you told her, the limit on guests for Covid, and the concern she may have had that it might be too much for him-all factors in.
While it would be his decision, had she sent the invite to both and you both accepted and then could not make it, she's now shuffling lists and costs.
This really isn't about you and your husband. Your friend is preparing for the wedding of her daughter and while your concerns are valid, they are not at the top of her to-do list.
I would cut her some slack. After 50 years of friendship, do you really want to throw all that away over an invitation?
Simply decline to attend and send a gift. If you make this about you, she may decide you are not honoring the friendship, too.
This is a two-sided situation.
Wish the daughter all the best and let it be.
"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
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