What do you think of this wedding invitation?

FranandZoe · ‎03-09-2010

Or rather lack of?

My "best friend's" daughter is getting married the end of October. She sent her invitations out Monday. My husband has had a lot of health problems in the last year - broken bones and surgeries. He broke his arm 3 weeks ago. Was in the hospital 10 days due to this and cellulitis. He broke his shoulder last September - had four surgeries with the last one in January. He has never really recovered. He broke his pelvis last August. He has another health issue that causes very low sodium and seizures. He falls a lot due to balance problems. Anyway I have been telling my friend for months that he may not be able to attend. He's weak and has a hard time getting around. He's lost abot 40 pounds in the last year due to so many hospitalizatios. He said recentlly though that he had every intention of going. I mentioned this to my friend yesterday and she advised that they did not invite him. They sent the invitation to me only. I was floored. She said they had to cut down on the invitations due to Covid numbers increasing. I told hubby about this and he was even ore shocked - and angry - than I was. Does one ever send a wedding invitation to a married person without including their spouse? Let alone a "best friend" of 50 years? And couldn't she have mentioned it to me beforehand? Well I guess she did - before I received the invitation. But isn't this rather rude to not include him? What harm would there have been? I would certainly have notified them in time if he was not going to attend. Beyond this who wants to attend a wedding alone?

So my solution is to just not attend. But should I tell them why or just decline?

And what's your opinion of all this?

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

@FranandZoe

IMO, that's tacky.

The right thing to do would be to invite your husband, even if they asssumed that he would not be well enough to attend. That is his decision to make.

Carolina925 · ‎03-09-2010

@FranandZoe , sad that your long time friend would do such a thing, even during COVID times. I would not attend and say something like "I wouldn't feel comfortable attending without my husband". I know good friends are hard to come by but she doesn't sound much like a friend to me. I would be highly insulted. Hope your husband gets better soon.

DSD2 · ‎01-09-2016

First, I am so very sorry that your husband has had to endure everything that has occurred. I surmise your love, encouragement and support has sustained him through all this.

You deserved much more from your lifelong friend. I can't see into her mind and heart so don't know where the decision actually came from. It could be for the reason she stated or perhaps she felt your husband would not be comfortable in attendance or it may be that they would not be comfortable with him there. Regardless, she shouild have told you in advance.

I think you should be honest with your friend. More honest than she was with you. Friendships are rooted in trust, whether they are new or decades old. Only you know how deep, solid and real your friendship is. If it is worth salvaging, do so and try and put this behind you. If not, you have a decision to make. My heart goes out to you...I wish your husband steady improvment and that you are able to move forward in whatever way seems right to you. Bless you.

RespectLife · ‎02-27-2012

UNBELIEVABLE! Very inconsiderate and hurtful.

I would definitely not attend, but based on such a long friendship, I would let it go and not make a thing of it.

There is so much stress these days trying to plan a wedding, they clearly were not thinking straight.

I would forgive if you want to continue the friendship.

shaggygirl · ‎11-24-2011

For me, the 50 year friendship would now come to a screeching halt.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

So very sorry to hear about all the problems your DH has had which is quite an amazing list, bless him.

I think your friend was incredibly rude and unbelieveable!

I would certaintly decline the invatation. I don't know if I would consider her a "close" friend after this episode.

BoopOMatic · ‎06-08-2021

I wouldn't feel obligated to respond in any manner. I definitely would not go and I wouldn't feel obligated to explain why as it is obvious that she disrespected your husband. They not only disrespected him, they upset him, which is unforgiveable in the shape he's in. Sounds like he really didn't need the stress and upset! Some "friend."