Community Chat

[Styleovertrend]

@Sushismom No that wouldn't be necessary or kind. Why not say nothing or find something you can complement them on and be sincere and honest.

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

If a friend asks if I like her dress and it's down right ugly, I certainly won't say that.  I would say I liked her blue dress better or try to find something to comment on that isn't insulting to her look or taste.

There is honest, then there is brutal.

[Styleovertrend]

Thanks @Sheila P-Burg for getting what I was trying to say! Posters have turned hostile as they often do!

[Tinkrbl44]

---

@suzyQ3 wrote:

I think that some people use the "A lie is a lie and wrong" sentiment to defend hurting people unnecessarily.

---

@suzyQ3    @Styleovertrend 

First, ITA.   Some people just love to act so self-righteous when demanding information that's really none of their business.   Boggles the mind.

Sometimes the truth is based on fact, but it can also be based on opinion.  I also think some people who've been raised in a rather strict (or even violent) home,  sometimes produce answers based on self-preservation.  As in "what can I tell them that won't get me hit repeatedly?".

Having said that, interpretation often comes into play.  Example - A police officer is questioning someone who might be a witness to something serious .... and has overheard a relevant conversation.  Were the people simply disagreeing, or having a spirited conversation ... or arguing?   Was it a serious argument?  

I think that "telling the truth" as a means of being unkind is just as bad as telling a lie.  JMO

[Sheila P-Burg]

@suzyQ3  .....  Are you saying there is no way to look the person in the eye and answer nicely without telling a lie?

[Styleovertrend]

@CrazyKittyLvr2 There you go! You understand what this post is about!

[Suziepeach]

My MIL had dementia/alzheimers, she couldn't remember anything we told her so if a little white lie made her smile and happy, then that's what we did. On her death bed (along with alzheimers she had metastatic cancer) so when she said to me, "When can I go home?"...  I said, "Well mom we have to get this darn kidney infection cleared up.  She grinned and said, "Okay."  

[Cakers3]

---

@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

If a friend asks if I like her dress and it's down right ugly, I certainly won't say that.  I would say I liked her blue dress better or try to find something to comment on that isn't insulting to her look or taste.

There is honest, then there is brutal.

---

@CrazyKittyLvr2   By not commenting on her "down right ugly" dress (your opinion, not fact) and saying you like her blue dress better-you've just told her that you don't like the one you consider ugly.

By side-stepping an answer to the "ugly" dress you have already told her you don't like her taste or style.

[Styleovertrend]

Honesty relates to ones moral character (yeah, what's that?!) it's actually part of the definition. If one is a habitual liar, it says a lot about who they are. IMO

[Tinkrbl44]

---

@Styleovertrend wrote:

Thanks @Sheila P-Burg for getting what I was trying to say! Posters have turned hostile as they often do!

---

@Styleovertrend 

???   I don't see any hostile remarks here .... just interpretations and observations.   Sometimes people aren't really telling the truth for truth's sake, as finding a good opportunity to be unkind.   Nasty.

People lie all the time.  Medical students are told to assume that their patients will lie, in order to avoid looking bad or "wrong".   It's human nature to avoid pain, shame or humiliation.   Avoiding the 'facts" might have deadly consequences in medical settings, but it still happens.