Community Chat

[Sooner]

Your home is your home, not a museum or a shrine.  It is wonderful to remember loved ones, but life (YOUR life) goes on.  Get rid of things you don't love and want taking up room.

[muttmom]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

look at it this way.....if you dont really want them then think of will happen after you are gone. someone else will be disposing of them. when my father died he had taken so many photos of people, places, and things......and even my mom didnt know who they were of, what they were, or where some of them had been taken. she eventually just got rid of them. when you need to downsize or cannot take care of your own things anymore then someone else will have to make that decision.

i am assuming you already have the normal size photo of him. if you dont, take a photo of the photo for your memories and then just get rid of it.

good luck in making your decisions.

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I agree.

I have never been to a funeral where poster size pictures of the deceased were displayed.  The only time there was a picture was when it was a closed casket or when it was a memorial service.

@MaggieMack

What a handsome man!

[Goldengate8361]

Just put them in your closet. No biggie.

[croemer]

He really is handsome Maggie! Is there anyone else in the family who this picture might mean something too? If not,,,as much as it may pain you... if you have enough photo's of him I am with the poster who said burn them and scatter the ashes. You might have your own little ceremony and maybe a nice glass of something...raise a glass to your handsome hubby.

[INDIANA BONES]

I think it is up to the individual and relatives.  I do not think that you need to worry about what others think as it appears they would support you in any decision you make.

 My decision was very easy.  My deceased wife was very beautiful and was a model for  many years for Store ads and also she did some radio.   In short, I was lucky.  I was the frog and she was the Princess.  Her photos are stunning and my daughters look like her thank goodness.  I still have my largest photo over one fireplace and another large photo on the stair case foyer.   I have asked my fiancee many times if she wants me to take down the photos.   She says that my first wife is one of the people that made me the man I am and she respects her and would be honored to keep her photos up.   

If we live in my home when we marry, I will move them to one bedrooms but until than we have our solution to the problem.  

This certainly was a long story to tell you to do what you feel in your heart and what family members wish. 

[Another new name Sue]

Beautiful idea!  Burn and scatter ashes.  Love your idea of doing it with friends, glass of wine, remembering him.  Yes, indeed, he was a good lookin' guy!!!  Thanks for sharing your story, Maggie.  I'm sure it has brought a tear to more than one eye here. 

Do you still have the original print in a normal size?  Think of the oversized one as just a copy of the "real" photo.  That's the one it would be important to keep.

[MacDUFF]

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@MaggieMack wrote:

Oh, MacDuff, I robbed the cradle, haha! He was eight years younger than I. Introduced by friends who thought we would be a good match. I thought he was arrogant, he thought I was ditzy, the first time we met. Six months later, we had a date scheduled. I was peeking out of a crack in the door because I couldn't really remember what he looked like. Up drives this Jaguar, and a handsome preying mantis unfolded from it. I heard the words from somewhere, "Oh, no, you're in trouble now!"

I was sent to him to support him through the loss of his son to brain cancer, and his own journey with AML. He was sent to me to make sure I became a better person! The 13 years we had together, 10 of them married, were the absolute best, and correspondingly the absolute worst due to the two cancer wars. Wouldn't trade them for anything.

He was born as a rape baby to a 15-year-old. You can't imagine the perils of that childhood, but out of it grew the most amazing, loving, lovable, generous, thoughtful man! Passed at 50. If I can leave this earth being half the person he was, I will consider my life well lived. Thank you for asking . . . Blessed be.

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@MaggieMack

You ditzy?  He had you pegged from the get go LOL!  He must have been tall (praying mantis) and a Jaguar kind of guy WOO HOO!  

Did his bio mom rear him (I give her tons of credit for giving him life!!)?  I bet he knew exactly how blessed he was to have met you...he was obviously smart, too, 'cuz he married you.  What an incredible book you could write!  Did he play golf?  What was his job?  Did he have a bone marrow transplant?  

So you didn't see him for 6 months after you met (Mr. Arrogant and Ms. Ditz LOL!)???

I'm a few years older than Handsome...when I first saw him, I said, "Oh LORD he's so handsome!"  I knew I was in trouble, too LOL!

I'm so happy you both had those wonderful, challenging, loving 13 years together.  And thank you for sharing your story.

[MaggieMack]

@MacDUFF, you are SO funny and always good for a laugh! Yes, you are right, I could write a book, the stories I can tell. He led a remarkable life, I mean really lived, and gave gave gave. He had an autologous stem cell transplant, and two years later needed an unrelated donor transplant. Was two weeks out from that one when he got an infection that eventually took him, so he never had the second. Give your Handsome an extra squeeze from me tonight! 

[MacDUFF]

@MaggieMack

Beautiful words to remember your handsome, remarkable guy who "really lived and gave gave gave!"  I will give Handsome an extra squeeze tonite, Maggie.  Have a great evening.

[LTT1]

@MaggieMack

I changed my mind!  I couldn't put pieces of DH into a jigsaw puzzle... somehow that seems sacreligious.  

But you should do what is meaningful to you.

He was sent to you for all of the reasons you have specified and there is one more... this gives a person faith that love does exist.  I will now cry.

@INDIANA BONES  

If DH passed on, and I found someone, I would feel like you wrote... the past relationship would signify to me that it "made the man the person he is."