Community Chat

[petepetey]

I've been married over 26 years.  Yes, I suppose I was madly in love in the beginng

but I can't remember that feeling anymore.

Last night we were eating dinner, just the 2 of us. My husband rarely talks when he eats,

no conversation, just eating. I've mentioned that this bothers me a few times and he said

no one really likes to hear what he has to say so opts to be quiet.  That is not true.

At his work place he has taken to eating at his desk, not going to lunch with co-workers. 

I did say perhaps I will sit at the counter and watch the news when we eat and he could join me there. 

[phoenixbrd]

Acceptance, compromise, forgiveness, love.

[just bee]

Separate bathrooms.

[OKPrincess]

Communication, affection, compromise, total trust, faith

[MsCatLuver]

Taking new adventures together...even close to home.  Focusing on common interests, even just sitting on the porch watching nature.  We also have our own “personal time and space” daily.

[Peaches McPhee]

Being there when needed.

Space when needed.

Compromise.

Consideration.

Gratitude.

Fair (however the couple decides it) division of labor.

[Happy In the South]

Staying happy in marriage, in my opinion, involves not taking my husband for granted. Sometimes we treat friends and co-workers better than we do our spouse and children.

Show appreciation and be positive. We've been married almost 30 years and have been through many ups and downs, but talking through our problems has been the way we've remained very close. He's my absolute best friend and I love him more now than I did back when we married.

In your case, to assure your husband that you do want to hear his opinions, consider bringing up a few subjects during supper. If he happens to comment, listen carefully and respond appropriately with more discussion.

Create a consistently welcoming environment and over time, hopefully, he'll be more involved. Communication is such an important part of any positive relationship.

Perhaps he enjoys a quiet meal, there's nothing wrong with that. He might enjoy talking more after he's eaten. Evaluate what he needs and then respond from there. Wishing you all the best. 

[Thrive]

I've been married 40 years.  I think acceptance, encouragement, understanding, and communication when each of you are willing would be good. Try talking about positive things first for a couple of times and then a mixture of concerns and positve things later.  Good Luck!

[FranandZoe]

Ignore.  Overlook.  Let it go.

Separate bedrooms and bathrooms  From the get-go.

[judy0330]

@petepetey  Do you think your husband is depressed?  It sounds like he is isolating himself.

I think you have gotten some excellent examples of how people stay happy in a marriage.  I agree with all of them.  Another thing is to keep things fresh and fun.  This year marks a special birthday for my husband so I dubbed it The Year of "John" and planned something special -- often a surprise -- to do every month.  Sometimes with friends -- sometimes just the two of us.  We have had a great time.  I have enjoyed doing the planning and we are both enjoying all of the celebrations.  We have been married for 30 years.