What decision would you make? - Page 6

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@Still Raining I love you! Thank you for giving me the cheer and benefit of your experience. I really think if the job loss happens, I am really going to do it. Finally.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

I personally would choose to stay where I am, in order to have the family connection nearby.

magicmoodz · ‎03-16-2010

@Laura14 First, let me say my comments are made with the very best intentions to perhaps give you the nudge it appears you need to live your life to the fullest.

I have followed your relocation saga for quite sometime now. Change is hard, really hard. But life can become stagnant when we continue the drudgery of going through the motions we simply don't enjoy.

Do you ever feel as if you live in the shadows of your mom whose home you live in or in the shadows of your siblings who are married with familes of their own? And then when they are gone, be it your mom staying stationary in the state where she resides or your sisters moving away, will you feel alone and empty?

I think you can guess what my advice is. Get in that little Fiat and head for Iowa. But before that determine the area in which you want to live (I suggest a rental just until you know you want to plant roots). As for a job--nowadays preliminary interviews are often done via phone. Or you might consider a job in your field and then a weekend part-time (think fun) job where you could meet and make friends.

I think it is time to shed the cocoon and become the beautiful and independent butterfly you are meant to be.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@magicmoodz Thank you for putting a lot of my feelings into words. I know I need to go. Change is hard and I am my own worst enemy. Thank you for kindness and boldness.

I was thinking of an apartment first to give myself a year before deciding if it truly is everything and everywhere I want to be. Excellent advice.

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

@Laura14 wrote:
Thank you @geezerette . I love that you shared that with me.

@FoxxeeAll valid questions and I have most of them answered. It is in my plans to take a trip up before I move to look around again and make sure that's a step I want to take there. It's great advice.

I do really well alone. I do not live with my parents but my mother is there often enough to crash when she is in town which I love for a little while before I want my privacy back big time.

I really love the new career even if it is low paying and the potential is there to become more than minimum wage with raises as you gain some years but it's not ever going to be a high salary job. I've always lived cheap and I think I could probably make it work in the smaller town especially if I put down roots and bought a small house.

I've lived in just about every state east of the Mississippi so this is not my home and I do not care for where I am and never have. The Northeast is my home but I could never afford to live back there nor do I think I really want to.

@Laura14

Now that I read all your posts and have more background information, it appears you are level headed, given this move a lot of thought, and may have answered your own question.

You want to move...are a bit frightened, but once you are there and settled, you'll feel more comfortable. For you, it sounds like moving might be the best decision you can make.

Good luck and keep us posted along the way.

Lilysmom · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14 , I haven't read every post. You have to live your life for yourself. It sounds like your siblings are in a state of flux and will be moving at some point in the near to medium future so I wouldn't be making long term decisions based on being close to them.

If your mom only comes occasionally why do you have to live in one place to accommodate an occasional visit. Can't she visit you in the other location?

If your family is a big stressor in your life, it makes the decision to leave easier imo.

I seem to recall prior discussions about living arrangements that were difficult with your mother. Are you that poster? If so, it seems your mom causes you a lot of difficulty.

At the end of the day, you will have to make the choice that suits you best. Good luck with you decision.

LM

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14 ....I have not read all the posts, my simple take on this is what is your gut instinct? If you are comfortable moving and starting over, go for it! Of course, the ability to find a job you like and housing is front and center.

I am 64ish and if I could have moved years ago, I would have. My family is disfunctional and we are not close, so they would not keep me in my current location, also I have no children, but I am married. I do have a few good friends that I would miss, but the adventure of moving, I find interesting.

DH's personality is not the 'type' that would do well in a new location. I am the more outgoing one and now that we are older, it would not work at all.

DianeJ2 · ‎08-07-2015

@Laura14 i see both options having tried both. I dont have children either, devoted alot of time to caretaking my dad and my sisters raised their families. I put my needs aside happily to do that. But i didnt think hard enough about my own future, like who is going to do that for me, what do i want for myself the 2nd half etc...You deserve the same happiness and security too and you're young enough now to give anything a shot. The beauty of trying something new is seeing how you blossom out of the familiar as you create your vision for yourself. You will be amazed at the strength you have when it is Truly just you. I've lived in a few different places without family and it's really hard at first, especially if you're an introvert, but friends you make can become your community family. And Skype and visit home to keep connected.

However, if your family is your lifeline and you can't imagine being across the country from them, that's ok too! As we get older we want family around. Make future plans and get excited about the new career at home, ,goals to enhance where you are now and baby steps possibly toward a down paymen on something etc

Each time I listened to my gut instinct, what my heart said deep down and i had a plan to come back home if I hated it! Knowing I could do that, it let me give the new place a chance peacefully. I think you know what you want at heart 😊

I know you will rock either plan! Wishing you all good things ahead, can't wait to see xo

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

Thank you @DianeJ2 ! Sounds like you and I are a lot alike.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@Lilysmom She would come visit. She's just getting older but absolutely traveling the world now. She's been there many times with me over the years when I went on vacation.