Re: What decision would you make?

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

You sound like your up for a change.I say go for it while you are still young enough .Option #2 is calling out to you!!

Sounds like you've spent a long time pleasing others.It time you please yourself. You wil do great!!

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14 wrote:
@ECBG Actually she would never do that.

I think if or when it gets to that point, I do have two sisters who at this point do not work and would be closest to her.

This is a horrible thing to say but that's a plus in the go column. I've taken care of her and them my whole life to great personal sacrifice. It's time for someone else to take the brunt of the heavy work.

Not that I would not help in any way I could, but leaving means I don't get 'trapped' yet again into a situation where Laura solves everyone's problems for them.

This is your answer. Wishing you joy!

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

I think a major consideration is your age.

If you are over 40 and decide to move, I'd be sure to check out the job situation before moving. Small towns are not always the best places to find good jobs, but you might have a better chance of getting one over 40 than in a larger city where you might have a lot of competition from younger folks. Of course, if you are younger, you have competition from those your age.

Also, you say cross country...that places you far away from your family who might be of help if you run into problems.

Not sure what you mean you have credentials and licensure in a field that only pays minimum wage. If you move cross country, get a job that pays minimum wage, will you be able to support yourself? What are the housing and living costs? Or do you mean you could move up or get a different job that pays more in a different town. Can you get a better paying job in a different field where you live now?

Do you know anyone in the small town?

It sounds like you might live with your parents. Do you like living with them or do you want independence? How much would you miss them if you moved far away? How often would you be able to visit? Do you like the town you live in now. The familiarity of the people and everything around you? What's important to you? Do you think you might want to move back to your hometown to retire?

Is there a town closer to your parents where you could find a better job? That way if things don't work out, moving back won't be so difficult.

I always advise visiting an area for a few months before moving there. You are familiar with the town, but when were you there last and again, what about the job situation?

Of course, you know you will need money to move. Do you have enough for the move and to live on until you find a job? Think about a security deposit on an apartment or house, first month's rent, then monthly rent, utilities, food, gas when you get there. It might take several months to get a job if you don't have one before you move.

You create your own future and no one can make that decision. After you ask yourself the above questions and many more, maybe you will have the answer.

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

@Laura14

You're so right about the expenses of everything going up, rapidly. I took that into consideration when I made my decision about whether to move or not, but quite honestly, I never expected finances to have suddenly become so important to me.

A couple of years ago my life had a drastic change. And I had a decision to make much like yours, although somewhat in the opposite direction. Move to where my remaining family is, or stay where I am having only a couple of good friends. I didn't have to worry about a job.

I weighed all the pros and cons, and I finally decided to stay where I am, for several reasons. Am I happy? Not really. Do I like it? Again, not so much. Am I scared about what could happen to me? Yup, pretty much every day.

But I would have the same answers to those questions if I had decided to move. If it had been ten years ago, or even five, I would have made a different decision. But everything being equal, if I I had it to do over again, I'd make the same decision.

Hindsight is 20/20. Ten years from now I may regret my decision. And you may regret yours, whatever you decide. But the thing is, you can only do the best you can at the time with the information and abilities you have.

Best of luck.❤️

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@ZhillsI can move anywhere. I'm just thinking it would be smart to move to a small town I know and have visited quite a bit and followed for quite a while with events and news and plentiful job opportunities for what I would qualify for.

I love my family but we have very little in common and I'm not sure. no I know, it's not beneficial for me to always be waiting to pick them up. My 40s have kind of clarified and now all of you have done so as well that it's my turn now.

I guess we'll see when it all shakes out in late February/March.

Tribesters · ‎03-10-2010

@Laura14

I think you should go. The older you get, the harder it will be to start over. If you don’t go you will always wonder, and possibly regret, what might have been. You will meet people in the new location.

I have always wanted to leave the area I was born in. I’ve always felt “trapped” here because of family. The older they get, the harder it is to move away. My only sibling lives 3 hours away so I am the one that our parents rely on. Without going into details DH & I turned down a great opportunity to move to warmer weather, lower taxes & an all-around great area to live in. The main reason was my parents. How do I leave them now? Go while you have the chance! Don’t live a life of regrets.... If it doesn’t work out you can always move back.

godi · ‎03-09-2010

Sit and write a pros and cons list for both situations. Then choose the one with the most pros.
If it were me and I could I would do the second. Why couldn't you come back if it didn't work out?
Whatever you do good luck.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

Thank you @geezerette . I love that you shared that with me.

@FoxxeeAll valid questions and I have most of them answered. It is in my plans to take a trip up before I move to look around again and make sure that's a step I want to take there. It's great advice.

I do really well alone. I do not live with my parents but my mother is there often enough to crash when she is in town which I love for a little while before I want my privacy back big time.

I really love the new career even if it is low paying and the potential is there to become more than minimum wage with raises as you gain some years but it's not ever going to be a high salary job. I've always lived cheap and I think I could probably make it work in the smaller town especially if I put down roots and bought a small house.

I've lived in just about every state east of the Mississippi so this is not my home and I do not care for where I am and never have. The Northeast is my home but I could never afford to live back there nor do I think I really want to.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@godi I could return but it would be to this part of the country where they would be and I really hate it. If I go, I want to be gone for good and on my own where I enjoy living.

@Tribesters I am so sorry! Thank you for the encouragement!

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

You have a cheering squad because some of us have been alone and had to make decisions like this. We won't admit it now, but it scared the living daylights out of us.

So here is a cheer!!!!!

and a nudge