Community Chat

[newziesuzie]

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@VaBelle35 wrote:

Or

Consider the message, not the messenger.

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@VaBelle35 @Marcail0825

And sometimes the people who made the mistakes learn from

them and offer good words of wisdom.

😊

[newziesuzie]

http://www.popsugar.com/love/Unrealistic-Expectations-Men-Have-Women-38819484

"10 Contradictions Men Expect From Women"

"Unrealistic Expectations Men Have of Women"

"The dating game can be a struggle in general, but even more so when reality doesn't meet the same expectations your guy has of you. It's no news that men and women are wired differently — especially in terms of relationships. Have you ever heard your male friends describe what they look for in a woman? Some of it is almost laughable because she just doesn't exist.

Guys, as much as we'd like to embody both Gillian Flynn's "cool" girl and our real selves, it doesn't always work that way. And ladies, those of you who've somehow mastered this perfect combo, clue us in on your secret. For the rest of the female population who still doesn't quite understand how men think, the following contradictions might sound all too familiar.

1.  Not being a "salad girl" while having a banging body: Those fast-food commercials of models scarfing down cheeseburgers have created this fantasy that 900 calories pair well with a bikini. Ever been told, "I'm glad you didn't order a salad"? Well, we can't be skinny and eat like you all the time.

2.  Being wife material while being your FWB (friend with benefits): Some women have managed to embrace the best of both worlds, but a lot of guys tend to mentally categorize between "the girl you have fun with" and "the girl you bring home." And all while seeking someone who can be both. Now how does that work?

3.  Looking natural while still looking super sexy: The I-woke-up-like-this look doesn't translate as flawlessly for everyone. Au naturel can require some work too.

4.  Being distant while still showing interest: So let me get this — you don't want her texting you too much, but then complain that she doesn't text you enough. OK, got it.

5.  Being a guy's girl while not having any other guy friends: You, sir, will not be the only male figure in our lives as much as you'd like to be. It's unrealistic, and not to mention unfair (double standard, much?).

6.  Caring while not being too involved: We're expected to show some interest in your well-being, but God forbid we show a hint more. Because that's just clingy, right?

7.  Keeping you on your toes while not being "complicated": No one likes getting bored — we get it. But we can't be sympathetic to "I just don't get her" when those curveballs are making you call and text back.

8.  Being independent while confirming your masculinity: Independent women are just that — independent. So if that's what you're looking for, you can't simultaneously hold us responsible for keeping your manhood in check. We can't be expected to need you and to be completely self-sufficient.

9.  Being committed but not wedding crazy: A long-term relationship is acceptable, but the second future plans are mentioned, that's when you run for the hills. Getting serious is OK as long as it doesn't involve getting too serious. What gives?

10.  Being low maintenance while looking high maintenance: Guys, it takes time to look good. If it was possible for us to get up and go without any preparation, we'd be all over it. If you want us to rush getting ready, expect rushed results."

[VaBelle35]

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@newziesuzie wrote:

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@VaBelle35 wrote:

Or

Consider the message, not the messenger.

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@VaBelle35 @Marcail0825

And sometimes the people who made the mistakes learn from

them and offer good words of wisdom.

😊

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Agreed.

[dooBdoo]

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@Marcail0825 wrote:

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@dooBdoo wrote:

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

Well I want a man. I know I don't need one but I am not ashamed to admit that I won't feel complete without one. I know a lot of people feel differently and I respect that. But I don't want to be alone.

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If I could impart one thing to you, @JBKO, it would be that it's essential to feel complete by yourself.  Allow others to be a complement to you and your life, but not to "complete you."  If you need another person to complete you, that means you aren't whole.   I think the best gift we can give to ourselves is to learn to love who we are and to be okay, strong, and at peace in our own company.   Once you achieve that, as you meet men you'll know what your expectations are (remember, your expectations are important) and also you'll have a good instinct about how you want to interact with them.

I always found the best thing was to make friends with people who share some of your interests, and a great way to do that is to put yourself in places where those people will be.  Volunteer work, classes, etc., involving things that matter to you and reflect who you are will put you in a place with men who share the same values and interests.

I wish you well.

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^^^^This as well.  @JBKO Hope you take all the good advice on this thread from so many to heart. 

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         Thanks, @Marcail0825!  I agree, there's some very good advice and insight offered on this thread.   @JBKO, I hope all is well with you.

[newziesuzie]

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@VaBelle35 wrote:

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@newziesuzie wrote:

---

@VaBelle35 wrote:

Or

Consider the message, not the messenger.

---

@VaBelle35 @Marcail0825

And sometimes the people who made the mistakes learn from

them and offer good words of wisdom.

😊

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Agreed.

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👍

[Lucky Charm]

It doesn't matter what men's expectations are, all that matters is what your expectations are.

What are your expectations?

[JBKO]

My expectations? Months. At least 6.

[Lila Belle]

How's that working for you?

[JBKO]

I haven't dated anyone I'm interested in lately.

[SydneyH]

What decade are we in because OP's mother's advice sounds very dated........