Community Chat

[ROMARY]

Yes, as someone here mentioned:

(Not a direct quote)

Don't try to get even or stir up something.

Very good advice.

[Elom]

You are certainly not alone with the family issues.  All of my family for one reason or another deserted me in my time of need. When a phone call so simple as that would have been comforting. My husband was very gracious to my family and I guess they felt they wouldn’t get anything or vacations anymore. I was so sad for a long time about this but realized I was wasting my happy life that we shared. I don’t speak to any of them but one day they will answer to a higher authority. So I forgive them and have moved on.

i pray you find resolve with all of this and again saddened for your loss. It’s been 5 yrs for me and taken away suddenly. Take Good Care.

[Katcat1]

I ended cutting ties with a couple of relatives.  I got tired of pretending that we were close and their behavior in general was not sincere.  I feel so much better for my decision.

[Tyak]

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@Katcat1 wrote:

I ended cutting ties with a couple of relatives.  I got tired of pretending that we were close and their behavior in general was not sincere.  I feel so much better for my decision.

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Same here.  Life is too short.

[alicedee]

I realize you are struggling right now....everything hurts, including things you might usually ignore.  

If you aren’t even on Facebook, why is anyone trying to stir things up telling you what your sister-in-law posts?

Also, she is grieving too.....especially if a relationship had issues, a person grapples with how to handle a death.  She may be struggling with regrets or past family history you may not even be aware of.

i would cut her some slack, and tell yourself she is working things out the best she is able, as are you.  Don’t spend time stewing on her....focus on dealing with your own loss, and have people around you who will help you think and move in directions that will help you heal, not aggravate you.

You are in my prayers.  

[halfpint1]

At least you  have relatives. I have only a son. Husbands nieces and nephews sent me no sympathy card when he passed. 

[GenXmuse]

It’s hard for anyone, even your family to read your mind. That said, you should be able to grieve on your terms. I’m so sorry for the incredible loss you’ve suffered. 

[blackhole99]

I agree, I would let it go. Families are complicated with all their dysfunctions, perceived slights, wrongs.

[catwhisperer]

I just happened to come upon this thread and find it very interesting, as I am dealing with a similar situation.

My DH is dying. He is on hospice care here at home and I am caring for him.

A few family and friends are keeping in touch on a regular basis, but the majority of them have completely cut off all contact with me. It almost seems like they just can't deal with all this emotionally, so are pretending like it's NOT happening and are distancing themselves. I find it very strange and cold hearted, but obviously after reading the other posts here, I'm not the only one dealing with this.

[alicedee]

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@catwhisperer wrote:

I just happened to come upon this thread and find it very interesting, as I am dealing with a similar situation.

My DH is dying. He is on hospice care here at home and I am caring for him.

A few family and friends are keeping in touch on a regular basis, but the majority of them have completely cut off all contact with me. It almost seems like they just can't deal with all this emotionally, so are pretending like it's NOT happening and are distancing themselves. I find it very strange and cold hearted, but obviously after reading the other posts here, I'm not the only one dealing with this.

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I am so very sorry, @catwhisperer .  I think you are right...many people can’t deal with the awful reality, and they just pretend it’s not happening.  Eventually, though, we all have to stare it in the face.  And some are so afraid of saying/ doing the wrong thing, they just freeze.  You have my prayers.