Re: What Would You Do and What Would You Say?

BMPerry · ‎03-27-2014

All the "new" wedding festivities are becoming way over the top...it seems that all the people who cant afford them are the ones wanting them, another one that floors me is having 2 photographers now so NO moment gets missed ! I wouldnt feel obligated to help host a luncheon and would simply let them know that you cant and not feel bad about it. My son is getting married in 4 weeks and the bride is very aware of the cost of everything and had kept a tight handle on expenses.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

You can politely decline. Just say, "no thank you" but I'll be glad to attend. (They won't croke from your answer).

violann · ‎03-10-2010

On 4/25/2015 Snarfazian D Meats said:
In Testing % worraps

READ DATE!

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Since this is the sister of your DIL I would think your DIL would know your financial situation and would have said something to her sister. ${#emotions_dlg.confused1}$ I am surprised the grandmother was even asked to do this. I think I would tell them what I could and could not afford to do. That would put it back in their lap. Something like, "I could host a light brunch for them in my home. I could afford that". I have a sneaky suspicion that is not what they are going to want. At least then, your GD would know you wanted to contribute what you could. I think that is what I would want to relay to my GD.

goodstuff · ‎03-09-2010

I don't think a grandmother is usually expected to play a big part in the wedding planning, so I wouldn't take it amiss that you haven't. As to whether you want to help with the bridesmaid's luncheon.......it would be good to help in any practical way you can, but if you really can't afford it, just say so. Honesty really is the best policy. Or perhaps you could give them some realistic amount you could put towards the event and would be willing to contribute and let that be the extent of your financial involvement. If they consider that inadequate, they can approach another family member to help with the event instead of or in addition to you. Giving money isn't the only way you could help; you could help with planning, preparing food, setting up, decorating, addressing invitations, cleaning up -- in many ways other than money.

Being straightforward about what you can and can't afford and stating realistic limits is the important thing.