Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

I appreciate your sharing some honest feelings that others might never admit to. It's how you felt at the time, and none of us here can judge because we don't know the context in terms of your family dynamics.

This is a good place for you to vent.

[silkyk]

When I feel that way I watch Cher and I feel better.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x-fkSYDtUY

[sissel]

I have a friend (glad not a family member) for over 10years and she has the same problems today as she had 10yrs ago. I tried to give her advice but now after all this time I gave up. I try to keep my mouth shut & listen but now I am in no rush to answer the phone because after the call I am drained mentally.Problems are financially, marriage & adult children. Over & over again. I think she can get finance help with the state but she seems not to even want to make appt with a state councilor, just wants to complain & not even try to solve some of her problems. She inherited a huge some of money but only lasted 2 yrs. People need to solve some of their problems & not rely on others. She goes to a therapist & wonder if that helps, I think some people just like to complain & not even try to work out some problems. 10yrs same problems to me seems like she isn't even trying.

[GenXmuse]

Some people just don’t want to be saved from their misery. 

[hsawaknow]

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@jeanlake wrote:

I'm glad you withheld your thoughts. I do get your frustration. Listening to people who are being emotional isn't easy. My big sis would have answered rudely. She enjoys making other women feel they are meek and not as in control as she is. There are times silence is golden and kind.

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I had an older sister like that except she thought she was in control of everyone. She was mean and nasty and in the end no one wanted to be around her because she ruined so many lives with her lies. She ended up killing herself last year. Only 4 people went to her funeral. Her daughter, ex-husband, 1 grandchild and the priest.

[software]

It's really nice that your sister has someone to vent to, someone who is not judgmental or snarky

You are a gift.

[Nataliesgramma]

I have a friend  that we call or email each other when we need to vent.

She'll send a txt "I need to vent".... and then I listen to her get it all out 

She feels better and thanks me for listening.......I call her when I NEED to vent....

Maybe it works for us because it doesn't happen very often...

[ID2]

OP I feel for your sister. She is coming to you in confidence and you post it here? Eh not very sisterly. Open your heart to her, she needs your "words of wisdom" now. There's nothing more special than sisterly love. 

[AuntG]

Maybe there is some mid-ground. How about "What can I do to help you through this?"

[pommom]

My friend tells of her family dynamics as she was growing up at almost every gathering.  We can almost quote her word for word.  At one gathering, she was once again bemoaning how unfair things were for her when she was a child.  I interjected that the good news is that she broke the cycle.  Didn't work.  She then continued to complain about how long it took for her to come to a new realization, etc., etc.  I truly believe that she needs counseling.