What Do You Owe Your Parents - Page 6

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

Children don't ask to be born...so technically, they "owe" their parents nothing. Parents, however, "owe" their children the best food, shelter, clothing, medical care and education that they can afford. Most importantly IMO, they owe them love, respect, constructive discipline and raising them to be the best possible adult. they can be. That said, all parents make mistakes, and sometimes even much loved, well-raised children do not turn out well.

Just in general, parents who raise/treat their children properly will earn the child's love, respect and devotion (I know there are exceptions), and those parents will never have to worry whether their child will be there for them.

Shelbelle · ‎03-09-2010

I am reminded here of the speech Sidney Poitier's character gave to his father in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. His Dad was on his case and told him how much he had done for him over the years, Sidney replied that once a child is brought into this world, it is the responsiblilty of the parents from that moment on to provide all that they can for this child who did not asked to be born, he told his father in a lovingly way that he really owed him nothing in return.

GraceCO · ‎11-16-2011

I agree, except for the most severe case of parental abuse, I think we owe it to ourselves and our children (who are watching...) to show respect to our parents, especially when they are sick or passing on.

Desert Lily · ‎06-24-2011

For me, the bitterness is just too much. I don't know any parent who hasn't made mistakes. Everyone is human, and I believe the great majority of us do the best we can. A sibling of mine didn't see my mother when she was dying and hadn't seen her or spoken to her for 8 years over words or maybe things from decades earlier (I don't really know.) I did not think less of my mother. I thought less of my sibling; in fact I was ashamed of their behavior. And in those 8 years my mother was crushed over my sibling's silence to her, not even sure of what the issue was. A visit to the hospital or hospice wouldn't have made up for all of those years she missed my sibling; it would've probably only helped my sibling's conscience. If there's even the tiniest remote chance, I say reconcile now. Whatever it is, get beyond it and start fresh today. Everyone lives in a glass house, and our children are watching.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

@Desert Lily wrote:
For me, the bitterness is just too much. I don't know any parent who hasn't made mistakes. Everyone is human, and I believe the great majority of us do the best we can. A sibling of mine didn't see my mother when she was dying and hadn't seen her or spoken to her for 8 years over words or maybe things from decades earlier (I don't really know.) I did not think less of my mother. I thought less of my sibling; in fact I was ashamed of their behavior. And in those 8 years my mother was crushed over my sibling's silence to her, not even sure of what the issue was. A visit to the hospital or hospice wouldn't have made up for all of those years she missed my sibling; it would've probably only helped my sibling's conscience. If there's even the tiniest remote chance, I say reconcile now. Whatever it is, get beyond it and start fresh today. Everyone lives in a glass house, and our children are watching.

@Desert Lily, now I'm speaking for myself, I couldn't do what your sibling did. Life is too short, I couldn't let someone pass without making an effort to mend fences. It would give the dying person some comfort in their last days and I would feel I did all I could, I wouldn't carry any guilt. People must do as they see fit, I don't judge them because I have not walked in their shoes.

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

This is a great question!

I asked our pastor something like this years ago after a Father's Day Service. He said "If your parents honored you then you should honor them."

Just his opinion.

My father was mostly out of the picture my whole life. My mother had a bad drinking problem and was abusive at times. I forgave her for everything and stayed in touch until she turned on my husband and I couldn't let that continue. He was always completly kind to her but could not meet her demands after I had my extractions and was down. She left scathing messages with unforgivable demands with foul remarks.

We lived in another state when she passed and hadn't spoken for about a year. She had run off all her friends and went from her senior high rise to a nurcing home and a staff member told me she "thought" she was talking with me several times before she passed. That completly broke my heart! She had dementia but was never diagnosed.

She had a stranger spread her ashes but I had to sign her death certificate and fax it to the funeral home. The stranger got all her possessions and would not return my calls.

Still keeper of the koi · ‎05-04-2017

I waited and thought long and deeply before I posted this... I think we OWE someone nothing, We do things OUT of love not obligation, at least in my belief.love leads us to self sacrifice, loving another more ....I was an abused child my mother is still alive, her lack of love neither drives me to care for her or hate her.It is only a big blank page.I do thank the creator for my challenges in life, it has taught me life's true meaning,everything stems from love, the creators, and everything that continues. I love as i wish to be loved...Judge and jury is not in my hands...We all are responsible for our actions good or bad...hugs and love,MaryAnne

game-on · ‎03-22-2010

I am not sure it is about owing my parents.... I think it is more about what I chose to give my parents. As I age I find it more difficult to make decisions that are right for me and wishing I had loving support. So I am glad I was there for the last years of my parents' lives....

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

I owe them everything...they were great parents, gave me a great moral compass on how to live and conduct my life.

Makes me teary eyed thinking about them, they are both gone, died way to young. I miss them......

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
I owe them everything...they were great parents, gave me a great moral compass on how to live and conduct my life.

Makes me teary eyed thinking about them, they are both gone, died way to young. I miss them......

So sorry for your loss.