What Are Our Children Learning - And I don't mean ... - Page 8

RainCityWoman · ‎06-16-2015

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I am a firm believer that social media has removed some of the reluctance to be mean. It's that anonymity that emboldens people. On the other hand, social media has enabled adults and younger people to say things they wouldn't say face to face, even when their identity is known. Yes, it has made things worse, but as a 9th grade teacher who taught pre social media and post social media, I will say that I observed really mean behavior, sometimes anonymous, sometiimes not in the young teens throughout my 30 year career. Nasty notes stuck in lockers anonymously. Name calling written on the front of lockers. Outright ostracizing and shunning blatantly displayed. No attempts at times to even camouflage the disrespect. I can't even count how many times I had to have private conversations as to the behavior and insensitivity displayed by iindividual students. They were all adept at finding a kid's weakeness or afflictions and going in for the kill. It would become a pecking contest. I even observed developmentally disabled students being exploited for someone else's entertainment. I worked with counselors and principals to deal with the bullies, but most often they reverted to that behavior anyway. Either that, or they blamed the person being bullied. Is this just inherent in human nature?
@RainCityWoman Nope. Manners are taught and so is common courtesy (or it used to be) which is, in my opinion, the biggest source of the problem here.

Manners may be taught in the home, but peer group influence at a certain age quite often takes over front and center. I have had parents tell me that all of a sudden they don't recognize their own child. Social media has just augmented the problem

Ruthie-Roo · ‎01-04-2015

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Your grandchildren are lucky little ones to have you in their lives. I fear for the kids who are given an iPad, phone and ccomputer instead of a lot of human interaction.

I saw a show on PBS where parents sent their internet-addicted teens to internet bootcamp. It was frightening.

OMG @Elri AMEN!!

I went to dinner with my 12 year old niece and 13 year old nephew recently. I didn't get a hello, nor one word of conversation. Their heads were either on the tablets they have at the restaurants now or in their phones. I don't have kids but I'd like to think their phones would be in my purse when we went out to dinner with family so they could interact with the people they love with good old fashioned speaking and listening. It's just common courtesy.

@Laura14 While we're all alive and able to spend time with one another, it would be nice to actually pay attention to each other, and enjoy the time we have left. Seems some people don't care, or don't know any better. Very sad. Frustrating, too.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

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I am a firm believer that social media has removed some of the reluctance to be mean. It's that anonymity that emboldens people. On the other hand, social media has enabled adults and younger people to say things they wouldn't say face to face, even when their identity is known. Yes, it has made things worse, but as a 9th grade teacher who taught pre social media and post social media, I will say that I observed really mean behavior, sometimes anonymous, sometiimes not in the young teens throughout my 30 year career. Nasty notes stuck in lockers anonymously. Name calling written on the front of lockers. Outright ostracizing and shunning blatantly displayed. No attempts at times to even camouflage the disrespect. I can't even count how many times I had to have private conversations as to the behavior and insensitivity displayed by iindividual students. They were all adept at finding a kid's weakeness or afflictions and going in for the kill. It would become a pecking contest. I even observed developmentally disabled students being exploited for someone else's entertainment. I worked with counselors and principals to deal with the bullies, but most often they reverted to that behavior anyway. Either that, or they blamed the person being bullied. Is this just inherent in human nature?
@RainCityWoman Nope. Manners are taught and so is common courtesy (or it used to be) which is, in my opinion, the biggest source of the problem here.
Manners may be taught in the home, but peer group influence at a certain age quite often takes over front and center. I have had parents tell me that all of a sudden they don't recognize their own child. Social media has just augmented the problem

@RainCityWoman What they do with their peers you can't control. But when you are in their air space and still own it before they are 18 or out of the house, the electronics get put away and manners are displayed.

Maybe it's just an Italian thing, but as a kid I followed my parent's rules. If I wanted to make my own, I needed a paycheck and my own roof over my head.

RainCityWoman · ‎06-16-2015

wrote:
wrote:
wrote:
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I am a firm believer that social media has removed some of the reluctance to be mean. It's that anonymity that emboldens people. On the other hand, social media has enabled adults and younger people to say things they wouldn't say face to face, even when their identity is known. Yes, it has made things worse, but as a 9th grade teacher who taught pre social media and post social media, I will say that I observed really mean behavior, sometimes anonymous, sometiimes not in the young teens throughout my 30 year career. Nasty notes stuck in lockers anonymously. Name calling written on the front of lockers. Outright ostracizing and shunning blatantly displayed. No attempts at times to even camouflage the disrespect. I can't even count how many times I had to have private conversations as to the behavior and insensitivity displayed by iindividual students. They were all adept at finding a kid's weakeness or afflictions and going in for the kill. It would become a pecking contest. I even observed developmentally disabled students being exploited for someone else's entertainment. I worked with counselors and principals to deal with the bullies, but most often they reverted to that behavior anyway. Either that, or they blamed the person being bullied. Is this just inherent in human nature?
@RainCityWoman Nope. Manners are taught and so is common courtesy (or it used to be) which is, in my opinion, the biggest source of the problem here.
Manners may be taught in the home, but peer group influence at a certain age quite often takes over front and center. I have had parents tell me that all of a sudden they don't recognize their own child. Social media has just augmented the problem
@RainCityWoman What they do with their peers you can't control. But when you are in their air space and still own it before they are 18 or out of the house, the electronics get put away and manners are displayed.

Maybe it's just an Italian thing, but as a kid I followed my parent's rules. If I wanted to make my own, I needed a paycheck and my own roof over my head.

Quite often kids will behave one way in the home and at family events where parents are watching, and then when they are with their friends, they change their behavior. As I have said, I've dealt with many parents who have told me they no longer recognized their children once they hit the teen years. Unless a parent follows their kid around 24/7, they have no idea what behavior is manifested until they get a call from the principal or the police, etc. As a rule, parents who stay connected to everything that their child particpates in, go to school events, help with homework, insist on homework time every day, have children who are decent, educated human beings. However, there are always exceptions where a parent has done everything right, but the child is influenced by outside forces. It's daunting being a parent these days.